For the past six years, my brother Shawn has been caring for our veteran father full time. After our dad suffered a major seizure in 2019, Shawn made an immediate decision. He left his career in Geology and moved from Colorado to Maryland to be with our dad... fully committed to helping him live with dignity, comfort, and as much joy as possible.

Our dad battled 100% service-connected stage four kidney cancer for nearly 22 years. Every day felt like a gift. Shawn made it his mission to ensure our dad experienced the best quality of life in those years. On Friday, April 11th, our dad passed away peacefully. Our hearts are heavy... but we are also deeply relieved that he is no longer in pain.

If you have ever been a caregiver, you know this is not a 40 hour a week job. It is round the clock. 24-hour days of medication management, doctors appointments, ruthlessly trying to prevent falls, fighting for benefits through the VA, prepping renal friendly meals (which is no easy feat!), late night hospital admissions, dialysis runs, paying bills, driving across town for blood transfusions, restarting the laundry, helping dad change the channel on the TV... again, problem solving whether or not to call 911, cleaning up messes, transferring Dad to and from the toilet, monitoring blood pressure, mowing the lawn to Dad's very specific standards, taking care of Dad’s cat, staying up most of the night because the bed alarm went off for the 4th time, all while carrying the emotional weight of honoring your father but needing to guide him, correct him, and often times, tell him no.

Even when "sleeping," Shawn had to sleep with one eye open... always ready to jump up if Dad set his bed alarm off trying to get out of bed alone.

The VA provided a small stipend to support Shawn’s caregiving... but that ended the moment our dad passed. Because the stipend does not count as employment, Shawn is not eligible for unemployment benefits either.

Over these six years, Shawn has put his health, career, savings, student loans, friendships, travel, and personal goals completely on hold. And he would still tell you it was an honor to care for our dad... and to serve our country in this way, by standing in the gap for a veteran who gave more than 20 years of his life in service.

Now, it is time for Shawn to breathe.

He is still carrying the weight of post-loss logistics... even more paperwork, more back and forth with the VA, and everything else that comes with saying goodbye to a loved one. My hope is to give Shawn space to rest and recover. To reconnect with friends and family he has not seen in years. To hike with his dog. To spend time with his nephew. To just exist in peace for a moment before jumping into the uncertainty of a job search in this tough market.

Would you consider joining me in honoring my brother and the incredible, selfless act he gave... not just to our dad, but to all of us?

And yes... he probably won't love that I put this GoFundMe together for him. But that's just what big sisters do. We show up for our little brothers... even if it ruffles their feathers :)

Also check out this video of the time Shawn pulled all the strings in the world to get dad to go on one last flight: https://youtu.be/T2fh4iJKBI0