A Short King’s Manifesto

Amal Pulikkiyil is organizing this fundraiser to benefit Little People of America Inc.

Tax deductible

OMG finally a real week for underappreciated high-value short males, the unseen victims of God's cruel genetics game. This week, please bring awareness to your families and spread the word on a few things that make short alpha males better:

1. Proportionately more compassionate: Same heart size, less height — more love per inch. I'm not talking about hearts

2. Save money: Smaller people = smaller buildings = lower taxes for the hard-working American

3. Apocalypse Proof: Survival of the shortest, when the world ends, we’ll be hidden, thriving, and snacking... on you

4. Airlines fear us — we can actually stretch out in Spirit economy like it’s first class

5. Gravity-resustant: Fall safer, live longer

6. Charisma kings: We had to develop actual personalities in this cut-throat world that prefer the tall

So reach out in support of your fun-sized and portable travel companions in life. Remind them they're appreciated and needed to pick up something you drop. Speak up for them. And donate today!