My kids need your help. I'm looking for help with legal costs after my kids were held from me unlawfully by their father, and then the courts failed to have them returned. Below is a detailed background.
Hello. My name is Jaimie. I reside in California and am medically retired from the Air Force. I am located in California due to custody arrangements. I have twin daughters who are about to be 5 and a 9 year old son. My daughters are beautiful, bright, and kind souls. And my son, who struggles with ADHD, is the most curious and sweetest child that I've ever encountered. They are being used by my ex-husband to hurt me. This is his way to punish me for being happy with our kids, since I no longer respond to his verbal abuse. My ex-husband has been harassing me for three years. We split up because he cheated with a married woman and began a relationship with her while we were married. While working full time in the Air Force, I was forced to raise our kids alone while he left for Arizona for about 8 months. I provided all mental, emotional, financial and physical support during that time. During this time period and at his request, we had a written agreement between us for him to get the kids the following summer and all summers moving forward. However, things changed when this same girlfriend couldn't relocate with him. Once she could not move to his new location because of her divorce proceedings, he moved back to accommodate her. Upon his return, we agreed it was appropriate to slowly increase his custody time with the kids. I even offered 50 percent custody 1 year ago and, for unknown reasons, he declined. So, we remained at about a 25/75 percent split in custody for a while. In the meantime, monthly accusations of me being abusive and verbal attacks/defamation of my character continued. I eventually began to ignore his unfounded accusations and constant harassing texts because he would try to use it as a way to control me. I had majority time with the kids and was the primary physical custodian. I handled all school functions, after school programs, doctor appointments, birthdays, etc. Dad stated it was my sole responsibility and I should be the one who manages all of those things. I was used to doing all of these things when we were married, while also being the only financial contributor for 7 years, so this was not neccesarily new. Even so, our children would share with me multiple negative comments dad and his girlfriend would state about me frequently. For example, the girlfriend would refer to me as a "dumb redneck" or "bad mom". They would tell me they were bombarded with tons of questions at every visit with father. They also were/are manipulated into saying things they felt were untrue, but ultimately would repeat because they "didn't want to upset" their dad. They would get emotional about feeling like they were being forced to lie by their father. Yet, they would often be called a liar for not agreeing with whatever comments their dad would make about myself or my household. They were told to refer to me as Jaimie and to call the girlfriend mommy. From around Oct 2019-Jan 2020, I was getting my children on certain days or times their father was suppose to have them, to include one of father's scheduled days every week for my son. This change was due to my son not getting along with the girlfriend (and me keeping my son on father's scheduled day was dad's idea). She was ignoring him while being the primary care taker. This occured because he had repeated negative things she had said to him to school officials and this supposedly "upset her". Again, all of this extra time with me was requested by their dad. The girlfriend also would be physically aggressive with our kids. I expressed concerns to dad about his girlfriend's behavior and he stated he would address it. However, in Feb of 2020, the extra time father was giving me suddenly stopped. Immediately after, I got a visit by CPS. Father made severe untrue allegations about my apartment and how I treat our kids. CPS closed the case as unsubstantiated at the end of February. Nothing he claimed was found when they visited my place and nothing to prove his claims about my house was cited in the report. After finding out CPS closed our case in mid-Feb 2020, dad never returned our kids home. He unlawfully kept our kids from me. The cops aren't allowed to do anything about someone breaking a custody order, if they have not fled. They have been gone ever since (Feb). I took him to court in Mar and the court stated they wanted the CPS results before ruling to return them. At the end of March, the court canceled our hearing due to Covid. The hearing was rescheduled for Jul. We just had our hearing on 9 Jul where the judge was able to confirm the CPS case was unsubstantiated and had been closed since the end of Feb. While we waited for the July hearing, I participated in 16 supervised visits which cost $1600 out of my pocket. These reports showed no concerns regarding myself, however, it showed concerns regarding father's house. The judge got to see this report at our recent hearing, as well. Father still kept his stance to the judge that he doesn't feel I should have the kids and he is concerned for their safety. The judge decided we need to have a trial before she moves forward with any custody decisions. She instructed that the kids remain with their father until the upcoming trial. Strangely, father agreed to let me have an unsupervised visit with the twins for their birthday for 12 hours, but still wouldn't agree to unsupervised visits outside of that day. It may seem he is trying to be considerate, but I am no longer naive. If he feels my house is unsafe, why is one day okay, but other days of visitation are not. If this situation seems unjust, this is exactly the reason why I need legal counsel. There is no evidence against me, yet I am being treated as though I'm guilty. My heart is broken. My kids are being manipulated and coerced, even currently. During our supervised visits, the kids would ask do I love them because dad and his girlfriend are saying I "don't miss or love them". My son is being encouraged to not write about how he honestly feels bc "it makes dad sad". And this is just a sample of the negative things occuring over there. Each visit, our kids cry and ask to come home. I need a lawyer, but now I'm also being asked to pay dad child support at a crazy high amount. Apparently, in CA because my VA disability in non-taxable, they can take a higher amount of my income. If I pay what he is asking for, I will end up on the streets. He is only able to ask for that amount because he is keeping the kids from me by making these false claims. In order to retain legal counsel for all of this, it is required I get help with funding. I am asking, and even begging at this point, for any help with retaining a lawyer. The trial is mid-Aug and there is a sense of urgency. I am looking to raise $6000 for legal assistance (the retainer alone is 1000 and there will be hourly rates). I feel in order to get my kids safe, I need a lawyer for this broken family law system. If by chance I get the funds and some money is left over (which I highly doubt), all remaining funds will be put into a college fund for the kids. I love my kids more than myself or anything and have never harmed them or tried to keep their father out of their lives. He hates me though and will stop at nothing to harm me, even if it means manipulating his own children. He is very manipulative and good at spinning stories, lying and using others to further his agenda. I'm worried our kids will be alienated from me, which is what he claims I am trying to do (he always accuses me of the things he is actively doing). I want him to be involved, but hate he is using our kids as some game against me. I would never try to destroy his relationship with our kids. Our kids are suffering from this situation, even though they might not quite understand what is going on. Plus, my son is specifically struggling over at his father's. Please consider donating to help. While I understand everyone has their own lives to take care of, I humbly ask for any financial contributions (or legal references) that anyone can spare. If you are unable to help financially, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
My kids need your help.
-Sincerely, Jaimie
Hello. My name is Jaimie. I reside in California and am medically retired from the Air Force. I am located in California due to custody arrangements. I have twin daughters who are about to be 5 and a 9 year old son. My daughters are beautiful, bright, and kind souls. And my son, who struggles with ADHD, is the most curious and sweetest child that I've ever encountered. They are being used by my ex-husband to hurt me. This is his way to punish me for being happy with our kids, since I no longer respond to his verbal abuse. My ex-husband has been harassing me for three years. We split up because he cheated with a married woman and began a relationship with her while we were married. While working full time in the Air Force, I was forced to raise our kids alone while he left for Arizona for about 8 months. I provided all mental, emotional, financial and physical support during that time. During this time period and at his request, we had a written agreement between us for him to get the kids the following summer and all summers moving forward. However, things changed when this same girlfriend couldn't relocate with him. Once she could not move to his new location because of her divorce proceedings, he moved back to accommodate her. Upon his return, we agreed it was appropriate to slowly increase his custody time with the kids. I even offered 50 percent custody 1 year ago and, for unknown reasons, he declined. So, we remained at about a 25/75 percent split in custody for a while. In the meantime, monthly accusations of me being abusive and verbal attacks/defamation of my character continued. I eventually began to ignore his unfounded accusations and constant harassing texts because he would try to use it as a way to control me. I had majority time with the kids and was the primary physical custodian. I handled all school functions, after school programs, doctor appointments, birthdays, etc. Dad stated it was my sole responsibility and I should be the one who manages all of those things. I was used to doing all of these things when we were married, while also being the only financial contributor for 7 years, so this was not neccesarily new. Even so, our children would share with me multiple negative comments dad and his girlfriend would state about me frequently. For example, the girlfriend would refer to me as a "dumb redneck" or "bad mom". They would tell me they were bombarded with tons of questions at every visit with father. They also were/are manipulated into saying things they felt were untrue, but ultimately would repeat because they "didn't want to upset" their dad. They would get emotional about feeling like they were being forced to lie by their father. Yet, they would often be called a liar for not agreeing with whatever comments their dad would make about myself or my household. They were told to refer to me as Jaimie and to call the girlfriend mommy. From around Oct 2019-Jan 2020, I was getting my children on certain days or times their father was suppose to have them, to include one of father's scheduled days every week for my son. This change was due to my son not getting along with the girlfriend (and me keeping my son on father's scheduled day was dad's idea). She was ignoring him while being the primary care taker. This occured because he had repeated negative things she had said to him to school officials and this supposedly "upset her". Again, all of this extra time with me was requested by their dad. The girlfriend also would be physically aggressive with our kids. I expressed concerns to dad about his girlfriend's behavior and he stated he would address it. However, in Feb of 2020, the extra time father was giving me suddenly stopped. Immediately after, I got a visit by CPS. Father made severe untrue allegations about my apartment and how I treat our kids. CPS closed the case as unsubstantiated at the end of February. Nothing he claimed was found when they visited my place and nothing to prove his claims about my house was cited in the report. After finding out CPS closed our case in mid-Feb 2020, dad never returned our kids home. He unlawfully kept our kids from me. The cops aren't allowed to do anything about someone breaking a custody order, if they have not fled. They have been gone ever since (Feb). I took him to court in Mar and the court stated they wanted the CPS results before ruling to return them. At the end of March, the court canceled our hearing due to Covid. The hearing was rescheduled for Jul. We just had our hearing on 9 Jul where the judge was able to confirm the CPS case was unsubstantiated and had been closed since the end of Feb. While we waited for the July hearing, I participated in 16 supervised visits which cost $1600 out of my pocket. These reports showed no concerns regarding myself, however, it showed concerns regarding father's house. The judge got to see this report at our recent hearing, as well. Father still kept his stance to the judge that he doesn't feel I should have the kids and he is concerned for their safety. The judge decided we need to have a trial before she moves forward with any custody decisions. She instructed that the kids remain with their father until the upcoming trial. Strangely, father agreed to let me have an unsupervised visit with the twins for their birthday for 12 hours, but still wouldn't agree to unsupervised visits outside of that day. It may seem he is trying to be considerate, but I am no longer naive. If he feels my house is unsafe, why is one day okay, but other days of visitation are not. If this situation seems unjust, this is exactly the reason why I need legal counsel. There is no evidence against me, yet I am being treated as though I'm guilty. My heart is broken. My kids are being manipulated and coerced, even currently. During our supervised visits, the kids would ask do I love them because dad and his girlfriend are saying I "don't miss or love them". My son is being encouraged to not write about how he honestly feels bc "it makes dad sad". And this is just a sample of the negative things occuring over there. Each visit, our kids cry and ask to come home. I need a lawyer, but now I'm also being asked to pay dad child support at a crazy high amount. Apparently, in CA because my VA disability in non-taxable, they can take a higher amount of my income. If I pay what he is asking for, I will end up on the streets. He is only able to ask for that amount because he is keeping the kids from me by making these false claims. In order to retain legal counsel for all of this, it is required I get help with funding. I am asking, and even begging at this point, for any help with retaining a lawyer. The trial is mid-Aug and there is a sense of urgency. I am looking to raise $6000 for legal assistance (the retainer alone is 1000 and there will be hourly rates). I feel in order to get my kids safe, I need a lawyer for this broken family law system. If by chance I get the funds and some money is left over (which I highly doubt), all remaining funds will be put into a college fund for the kids. I love my kids more than myself or anything and have never harmed them or tried to keep their father out of their lives. He hates me though and will stop at nothing to harm me, even if it means manipulating his own children. He is very manipulative and good at spinning stories, lying and using others to further his agenda. I'm worried our kids will be alienated from me, which is what he claims I am trying to do (he always accuses me of the things he is actively doing). I want him to be involved, but hate he is using our kids as some game against me. I would never try to destroy his relationship with our kids. Our kids are suffering from this situation, even though they might not quite understand what is going on. Plus, my son is specifically struggling over at his father's. Please consider donating to help. While I understand everyone has their own lives to take care of, I humbly ask for any financial contributions (or legal references) that anyone can spare. If you are unable to help financially, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
My kids need your help.
-Sincerely, Jaimie