Donation protected
This is a monumental surprise that we never saw coming, but has become an immense blessing. Please read in its entirety. ❤️
2 weeks ago, my husband Shane and I were contacted with an situation that could change our family forever.
Shane’s cousin was admitted to a hospital in Boston to address some health issues. However, 10 days prior, she had given birth to a baby boy who was around 10 weeks early (no one was sure as she had no prenatal care) and weighed only 2 lb. 14 oz. For reference, I was born 10 weeks early and weighed 4 lb. 2 oz. This baby is TINY.
The mother surrendered custody of the baby to child services, and when she did, she gave them the name of Shane’s mom as a next-of-kin who would be ideal in taking on this baby when he was released from the NICU. Unfortunately after just a few days, the baby’s mother checked herself out of the hospital and has disappeared. There is no father in the picture and from the sounds of things, the mother either does not know who the father is or does not want to reveal him. She has expressed no desire to resume rights to the baby.
The state contacted Mom to inform her of the situation and find out if she is open to taking the baby in. However, Mom is in her late 60’s with her own health struggles, and is already assisting in raising her 3-year-old great-granddaughter with her son and his wife while working full time as a caregiver of an elderly woman with cognitive decline. So she contacted us, and Shane and I both knew from the very second she mentioned this little boy that we wanted him. We feel an overwhelming sense of duty to him as his blood family, as Christians, and as parents with 2 children of our own. We were both overwhelmed by it.
Shane and I decided after our youngest was born that we were not interested in pursuing more biological children. He had raised 2 sons with his first wife, both of whom were not biologically his but were nonetheless his sons. Unfortunately now both have tragically passed on before their time — which has been devastating for him. I endured a very rough first successful pregnancy and delivery of my oldest child, as well as 4 miscarriages — the last being our son Memphis in 2015. Then 9 months after that loss, we conceived Holly against all odds imaginable, and it was a traumatic pregnancy with constant stress and fears — between the risk of losing her like so many before, the severe health issues I endured, and the ventricular septal defect in Holly’s heart that miraculously healed by the time she was born. We knew that as much as we’d like another child, our hearts could not take any more loss nor any more fear, so I elected to have a tubal ligation at the time of my c-section when Holly was delivered.
We both discussed often that we were content with our 2 children, but that we’d still love to foster children or perhaps adopt another child one day when Holly was older and we had a bigger home. This was especially my desire. We found our dream home with so much more room in a fantastic family subdivision on a lake, and moved in April 2019. Then in August, literally just 10 days prior to receiving the news from Boston, I found myself faced with many lighthearted probing questions from well-meaning family members about “when are we having another one” as I held and helped care for a family member’s tiny newborn baby girl during the preparation for our niece’s Sweet 16 surprise party. I had to lovingly explain that I had had my tubes tied, but that we hoped to foster or adopt one day. I must have told 20 people that same answer that weekend.
Low and behold, we then receive this news out of the blue from Boston about this tiny premature baby without a parent and in need of a family, who is our blood. We both feel this is not coincidence, and God set this baby in our path. He is meant to be ours, and we feel it deep in the fiber of our being.
Arranging this situation is not easy, with many hurdles and hoops to jump through. We already applied and sent in the required information, and have been in contact regularly with the social worker and the baby’s attorney/Guardian ad litem. Unfortunately since we are out of state, the process is very slow and bureaucratic, taking a few months for the two state agencies to work together and complete all the necessary background checks, home checks, etc. This means that the baby will have to go to a foster home up in Boston until everything is done, which for us is just not acceptable.
The attorney advised us that we CAN apply for an emergency hearing, and then fly to Boston and go in front of the judge to appeal for their approval to let the baby come home now before all the red tape is complete. If the judge approves, we get to bring him back with us that day.
This is a long shot, but we still have to try. I know there are good foster homes out there, but I also know there are bad ones. I am absolutely petrified that this tiny baby boy, who weighs maybe just 3 to 3.5 pounds by now and has spent his first few weeks in a NICU with a feeding tube and never had the opportunity to bond with a mother or parent like all babies need, is going to end up in a foster home that does the bare minimum for the next however many months. Or worse, neglects him or abuses him. I am terrified that he will not get the intense level of love, medical care, and comfort that he needs, and most importantly, that he is missing out on this crucial bonding period, security establishment, and developmental period that should be spent with his family. Forcing this baby to adjust to a foster home, bond to his caregivers there (if at all), then get uprooted and brought to us months later during the period when they learn stranger aversion, and he now has to live with a family he does not know yet? That is cruel and traumatizing with lifelong effects on this child, and has kept me up night after night, in tears and sick to my stomach. There is no reason he should ever have to go through that, and I need to fight so that he never has to and can come home.
This is where you come in.
Shane and I were not planning on this sudden trip expense. We just returned from a badly-needed vacation together, where we were able to decompress a bit and have some 1:1 time to reconnect and catch up (you know, which is impossible with a 2-year-old and a busy veterinary practice). The baby’s attorney stated she can pull the court hearing together and give us a date and time, we just have to make it there. Unfortunately Shane cannot leave work for this as he’s between major Patterson trips and needs to be at the practice. So I need to go represent both of us and plead our case. In order for me to make this trip to Boston, I need to pull together the funds for the flight, hotel, and transportation (Uber), as well a bit extra in order to be ready to pick up an airline-approved carseat and essentials for the baby immediately that same day in order to bring him home with me if the judge grants it. The rest we can put together once we know he’s coming home and have time to accumulate.
Our family is about to grow in a VERY unexpected but very exciting way. We are able to provide a stable, secure, loving family for a tiny baby who desperately needs it. If you can spare anything to help us make this fight to bring our baby home and avoid the foster system, we would be forever grateful.
Thank you!
(Oh, and he does have a name, but for privacy and protection reasons I prefer not to share it until he is home.)
2 weeks ago, my husband Shane and I were contacted with an situation that could change our family forever.
Shane’s cousin was admitted to a hospital in Boston to address some health issues. However, 10 days prior, she had given birth to a baby boy who was around 10 weeks early (no one was sure as she had no prenatal care) and weighed only 2 lb. 14 oz. For reference, I was born 10 weeks early and weighed 4 lb. 2 oz. This baby is TINY.
The mother surrendered custody of the baby to child services, and when she did, she gave them the name of Shane’s mom as a next-of-kin who would be ideal in taking on this baby when he was released from the NICU. Unfortunately after just a few days, the baby’s mother checked herself out of the hospital and has disappeared. There is no father in the picture and from the sounds of things, the mother either does not know who the father is or does not want to reveal him. She has expressed no desire to resume rights to the baby.
The state contacted Mom to inform her of the situation and find out if she is open to taking the baby in. However, Mom is in her late 60’s with her own health struggles, and is already assisting in raising her 3-year-old great-granddaughter with her son and his wife while working full time as a caregiver of an elderly woman with cognitive decline. So she contacted us, and Shane and I both knew from the very second she mentioned this little boy that we wanted him. We feel an overwhelming sense of duty to him as his blood family, as Christians, and as parents with 2 children of our own. We were both overwhelmed by it.
Shane and I decided after our youngest was born that we were not interested in pursuing more biological children. He had raised 2 sons with his first wife, both of whom were not biologically his but were nonetheless his sons. Unfortunately now both have tragically passed on before their time — which has been devastating for him. I endured a very rough first successful pregnancy and delivery of my oldest child, as well as 4 miscarriages — the last being our son Memphis in 2015. Then 9 months after that loss, we conceived Holly against all odds imaginable, and it was a traumatic pregnancy with constant stress and fears — between the risk of losing her like so many before, the severe health issues I endured, and the ventricular septal defect in Holly’s heart that miraculously healed by the time she was born. We knew that as much as we’d like another child, our hearts could not take any more loss nor any more fear, so I elected to have a tubal ligation at the time of my c-section when Holly was delivered.
We both discussed often that we were content with our 2 children, but that we’d still love to foster children or perhaps adopt another child one day when Holly was older and we had a bigger home. This was especially my desire. We found our dream home with so much more room in a fantastic family subdivision on a lake, and moved in April 2019. Then in August, literally just 10 days prior to receiving the news from Boston, I found myself faced with many lighthearted probing questions from well-meaning family members about “when are we having another one” as I held and helped care for a family member’s tiny newborn baby girl during the preparation for our niece’s Sweet 16 surprise party. I had to lovingly explain that I had had my tubes tied, but that we hoped to foster or adopt one day. I must have told 20 people that same answer that weekend.
Low and behold, we then receive this news out of the blue from Boston about this tiny premature baby without a parent and in need of a family, who is our blood. We both feel this is not coincidence, and God set this baby in our path. He is meant to be ours, and we feel it deep in the fiber of our being.
Arranging this situation is not easy, with many hurdles and hoops to jump through. We already applied and sent in the required information, and have been in contact regularly with the social worker and the baby’s attorney/Guardian ad litem. Unfortunately since we are out of state, the process is very slow and bureaucratic, taking a few months for the two state agencies to work together and complete all the necessary background checks, home checks, etc. This means that the baby will have to go to a foster home up in Boston until everything is done, which for us is just not acceptable.
The attorney advised us that we CAN apply for an emergency hearing, and then fly to Boston and go in front of the judge to appeal for their approval to let the baby come home now before all the red tape is complete. If the judge approves, we get to bring him back with us that day.
This is a long shot, but we still have to try. I know there are good foster homes out there, but I also know there are bad ones. I am absolutely petrified that this tiny baby boy, who weighs maybe just 3 to 3.5 pounds by now and has spent his first few weeks in a NICU with a feeding tube and never had the opportunity to bond with a mother or parent like all babies need, is going to end up in a foster home that does the bare minimum for the next however many months. Or worse, neglects him or abuses him. I am terrified that he will not get the intense level of love, medical care, and comfort that he needs, and most importantly, that he is missing out on this crucial bonding period, security establishment, and developmental period that should be spent with his family. Forcing this baby to adjust to a foster home, bond to his caregivers there (if at all), then get uprooted and brought to us months later during the period when they learn stranger aversion, and he now has to live with a family he does not know yet? That is cruel and traumatizing with lifelong effects on this child, and has kept me up night after night, in tears and sick to my stomach. There is no reason he should ever have to go through that, and I need to fight so that he never has to and can come home.
This is where you come in.
Shane and I were not planning on this sudden trip expense. We just returned from a badly-needed vacation together, where we were able to decompress a bit and have some 1:1 time to reconnect and catch up (you know, which is impossible with a 2-year-old and a busy veterinary practice). The baby’s attorney stated she can pull the court hearing together and give us a date and time, we just have to make it there. Unfortunately Shane cannot leave work for this as he’s between major Patterson trips and needs to be at the practice. So I need to go represent both of us and plead our case. In order for me to make this trip to Boston, I need to pull together the funds for the flight, hotel, and transportation (Uber), as well a bit extra in order to be ready to pick up an airline-approved carseat and essentials for the baby immediately that same day in order to bring him home with me if the judge grants it. The rest we can put together once we know he’s coming home and have time to accumulate.
Our family is about to grow in a VERY unexpected but very exciting way. We are able to provide a stable, secure, loving family for a tiny baby who desperately needs it. If you can spare anything to help us make this fight to bring our baby home and avoid the foster system, we would be forever grateful.
Thank you!
(Oh, and he does have a name, but for privacy and protection reasons I prefer not to share it until he is home.)
Organizer
Jen Whitaker
Organizer
Center Grove, GA