Not Done Loving Her video

Help Keep Paula Home

There are love stories that are romantic.

And then there are love stories that are lived — quietly, daily, at great personal cost.

Paul and Paula Grayhek are in their mid-70s. For more than six years, Paul has been his wife’s entire world.

Due to severe spinal degeneration and Parkinson’s disease, Paula is now functionally quadriplegic. She cannot stand be herself. She cannot transfer without being lifted. She cannot care for herself in any way.

Every need — every movement — depends on Paul.

Each day, Paul lifts Paula out of bed with his own body.

He carries her to a bathroom that is too narrow for a wheelchair.

He toilets her.

He bathes her.

He feeds her every bite.

He catches her when they lose balance.

He moves her routinely, carefully, because he knows that movement is life, and once movement stops, decline follows.

Paul does all of this alone.

He does it because he loves her.

For over six years, Paul has rarely been able to leave the house. He will not allow Paula to lie in a soiled diaper simply so he can be gone longer. He will not allow her to suffer indignity for his own relief. He will not abandon her body to convenience.

But this level of devotion comes at a cost.

The constant lifting — the daily transfers, the catching, the carrying — has taken a serious toll on Paul’s body. His back is failing. He is exhausted. He is frightened — not for himself, but for what will happen to Paula if his body gives out.

Because if Paul can no longer lift her, bathe her, or move her safely, Paula’s health will decline — not from lack of love, but from lack of physical ability.

For a man providing 24-hour care, Paul needs respite. He needs infrastructure built in his house. he needs help.

Paul is tired in a way that sleep does not fix.

And still, he keeps going.

Why We Are Asking for Help

Paul’s deepest wish is simple:

to keep Paula at home, safe, clean, comfortable, and loved for as long as possible.

To do that, he needs help.

This fundraiser is not about luxury. It is about dignity, safety, and sustainability.

Funds raised will help with:

These changes would remove the constant strain from Paul’s body and give Paula the dignity of being moved safely — not carried.

Paul has given everything he has to Paula — quietly, faithfully, without complaint.

This fundraiser is a chance for all of us to carry some of the weight with him.

If you can give, please know that your gift supports love that has already given more than most of us will ever be asked to give.

For over two years, I have been privileged to provide in-home massage therapy to Paul and Paula and to witness this love story up close.

I have watched Paul give everything he has to keep Paula safe, clean, and at home. I have watched Paula endure loss with grace and dignity. Their story changed me.

I created this fundraiser so that Paul does not have to carry this weight alone anymore. It is a chance for all of us to carry some of the weight with him.

If you can give, please know that your gift supports love that has already given more than most of us will ever be asked to give.

All proceeds will go directly to Paul and Paula. Paul has stated that anything left over will go to some of the charities that have helped them through the years.

Thank you for taking the time to read their story and for any help you are able to offer.

If you cannot give, sharing this page matters more than you know.

Thank you for helping Paul keep Paula home — where love still lives.

— Daryl Johnson

Addendum: Inspired by a backyard concert my wife and I held, Paul wrote lyrics to a song for his wife. We were so moved that my wife wrote the melody and I produced it. You can find it on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/TDafmSkGM8E