Death Hurts!

A letter to those who dare feel,

On December 8th, 2022, the most beautiful, loving, and selfless person I have ever met has just taken her last breath, earned her wings, and began her journey to heaven's gates. I write this in honor of Corlene LaMay Sharnowski, age 87, nearly 88, who has always been a protecting grandma, my loving muma, and my dearest friend.

I have had the privilege of caring for my grandmother in her last years, just as she has cared for me since I was born. She has taught me so much about life, family, and how important it is to tell those you love just how much you love and appreciate them every chance you get!

We had climbed some high mountains and some so beautiful you didn't even realize that you were already exhausted, far before you reached the top. We have overcome so much together and as a family. There is a handful of us who cared for her deeply every day, tending to her every need, never leaving her side. And others who had watched and cared from a distance, and then there were those who wanted to care but were too scared to bear the thought of how life had changed for her. Regardless of your role in her life, have faith in believing; she never stopped thinking about you or worrying about you.

She served the role of My Grandma - My Muma perfectly, someone who had always been an equal Mom, proving to be one of the most inspirational persons I have ever met. She'd say, “no matter what, I love you; I will always love you, no matter what!" It didn’t matter how angry you got at her, no matter how long it had been since you had come to visit; she didn't even count the cost; she has always cared and loved all of us endlessly.

In 2018, she fell ill, by far the sickest I have ever seen her. She fought the hardest I had ever seen anyone fight to stay alive, and by God, she pulled through. Through this, she came into my care, fighting each day and proving her strength, and she could return home on her own in 2019. In 2021, we found ourselves in a similar situation. Her health had turned for the worse; chronic infections, kidney failure, loss of her vision, and dementia were slowly progressing and taking over who she once was. I would make similar sacrifices in 2021 but on a much larger scale this time around. Weeks later, she moved into my home, caring for her around the clock every day, with the only support of my immediate family - those who lived with me and with the use of those, I could afford to provide little relief for a short time as her health would allow. I will be the first to tell you how extremely hard it was to see her like this, especially when she felt so alone, not remembering that many of her loved ones had predeceased her. Although the love she had taught me would never allow me to sway from loving or caring for her in that way, I knew I was the only one who could. I knew that I was a genuine reason for her living, but she needed more; she needed more support, more love, and more compassion.

Her health showed much improvement, resulting in less need for medical devices, not a single infection in over a year, removal of feeding tubes, and she needed far less medication. Her weight was the best it had been in the last five years, we were maintaining it, and she was happy, oh boy, was she happy!!

This past summer we made so many memories together. Despite her inability to see, her hearing fading, and her mind slowly slipping, she trusted me with her every need. She knew I would never let her down, and I simply won't now.

A time to remember in July, we had been spending a lot of time outdoors, gardening, doing yard work, and enjoying family time. She had heard me start the four-wheeler up and asked what that was. I explained what a four-wheeler was, and to my surprise, she asked if she could ride on it. I was floored by her request but entirely excited at the same time! I kept asking her if she was sure; she was undoubtedly sure she wanted to try. She always told me, "Now you know my girl, you can only try new things once in a lifetime. Now let's do it" I hopped on and assisted her with getting on. I'll never forget her smile and the laughs we shared as a family riding around the yard. "I'm almost 90 years old, and I can't believe I've never tried this!" "I'm almost 90 years old......." She'd say that all the time! This good memory is only one of many memories over the last year that I get to carry with me throughout life, and without this time, I'm not sure where I would be now that she’s gone. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, reasons for which we may know, may come to learn, or those that remain unanswered.

Never in a thousand years would I have ever expected this to be this hard. I am here to share my thoughts and feelings about what this does to a person. I can't even imagine life without her, here in my home, let alone not anywhere else on this earth!

Life is so short, so incredibly short, and just when you think you have more time, it's gone! Just like that! Entirely gone, with not a single thing you can do about it. No second chances to try harder, no chances to change anything, no options to fix things, and no time to say the things you wish you had.

If I had only known, if any of us ever knew we were about to lose someone we love dearly, we would all do things differently! I can assure you of this. Please, if there is anything you can take from my experience, know life is precious, we feel so much as one of God's children, and everyone has an ending; we will all die someday. Make your time here the very best that you can! Tell those you love; how much you love and care for them. It will go a long way in the end.

We, as people first, always tend to leave finances for last, which in times like this, I promise you it will make your experience even harder. Not having the resources to care for death, which is a tremendous expense, both financially and emotionally, leaves an enormous burden on those you love. It allows no time for grieving, let alone healing. It leaves you and your loved ones with no time for sleep, no time to eat, and no time to care for themselves or their family during such an unbearable loss.

Being only days before her birthday, and only weeks before the holidays; makes this experience even more overwhelmingly oppressive for all those who cared for her, for those who still care about you, and for all those whom you must still care for. How do you tell your children that Christmas must wait? How do you make promises to those who love you dearly that you're going to be okay when you're not even sure that you will be? How do you smile and make the best of the Holidays when you haven't even been able to decorate a tree? How do you plan for a Christmas when the last thing you're thinking about are gifts? How do you spread holiday cheer, when you can't even find happiness in the deepest part of your soul? How do you change your way of thinking to exclude the thought that she is no longer there with you and never will be again? How do you explain how you feel to people when they ask? How do you tell people what you need, when you don't even know how to accept things? The simple answer to all of this is - you don't.

Family, friends, and compassion are what life is all about. She has taught me that you have very little without love in your heart. When you lose your money, you lose nothing. When you lose your health, you lose some things. When you lose your character, you lose everything! Life is what you make it, so don’t ever forget that.

Throughout my life, I’ve always had some inclination that people know when it’s their time to go, but now, I know this is certain; it is so true. Over the last month, as we planned her birthday (which is on 12/17), she’d say, “I’d love to have this…., I hope this person comes…. and that person…., we can go here…. Or maybe they’ll want to go there…., but honey, I hope you know that I’m not going to make it to my birthday.” I’d quickly follow up, “Mum, please don’t talk like that. What do you mean you're not? Your birthday is just around the corner. We're going to have the best time.” Well, once again, she proved to win that outcome. Like a dear friend always says when he sees me, “Becky wins again!” it always makes me smile to hear…. But boy, if he only knew my grandma as I did…. It wouldn’t be “Becky win’s again; it’d be Gram wins all the time!” She always knew when things were going to happen, and she’d tell me that over and over, just let it be…. “Things will happen when they are supposed to happen.”

If only I believed her as she told me repeatedly, “Honey, it's my time. It’s time for me to go. I need you to live your life to the fullest and stop giving away your youth. You help everyone with whatever they need; it’s your time” The sad part is, I never felt that way, so much so that I wish she hadn’t. God willing, I would have cared for her until the day I died. If there is anything else that my grandma taught me, it would be that asking for help, sometimes, is okay, as long as you never take it for granted and never take advantage of those willing to care for you so much!

Only now do I know how hard it is to lose someone so dear. Believe me when I say it’s more complicated than caring for someone’s every need throughout all hours of the day and night, so much more complex than tending to someone else's financial affairs, so much harder than asking for help, and so much harder than giving up the things you love to care for those you love more; it’s simply far too hard.

I stand before you with one wish, a wish for your sincerest love and compassion for anything, anything at all, that you can do to help ease our family's sadness, heartache, and hardship. This is the very type of stress and suffering that shouldn't ever be carried alone. Please believe my grandma is smiling down on you, standing right beside those you've lost dearly to your heart. I hope that if there is ever anyone else in my position, I can help them and their loved ones in some way, and somehow. Knowing of the people who care deeply for her, having those who support your family, and those who extend their generosity in times such as these, please know we are forever beholden and I am entirely grateful.

We sincerely thank you for your compassion, generosity, and much-needed prayers.

With all my love,

Rebecca Mary Hornacek

OBITUARY - CLOCK FUNERAL HOME

Corlene LaMay Sharnowski (Woirol) earned her golden wings at age 87, on December 8th, 2022, beginning her journey Home to meet the Lord at Heaven’s Gate, to dance and rejoice with many family members and friends that had gone before her.

Corlene was born to Arnold & Bernice (Makin) Woirol on December 17, 1935, in Muskegon, MI. She grew up in Michigan and attended school in Muskegon, MI.

Corlene, a loving wife of the late Paul A. Hornacek married at age 17, was blessed with four beautiful children: Paul Hornacek, Kimberly Hornacek, Brenda Hornacek, and Gregory Hornacek. Corlene, later married Alvin Sharnowski on February 18th, 1966, in Muskegon, MI giving birth to Allene Sharnowski and later adopting her youngest daughter, Angela Sharnowski, in 1987.

Corlene moved to Mason County in 1969, where she’s resided ever since, surrounded by lifelong friends and family. She has always taken pride in caring for others, it didn’t matter whether she had known you a long time or had just heard of you. She has always been a selfless giver who loved to bless others by showing God’s love through her many acts of kindness and compassion.

In addition to being a dedicated, full-time, loving wife & mother, Corlene worked hard. She owned and Operated KC Truck Stop (formally Zach’s) with her eldest daughter, Kimberly. She was always known for going the extra mile and making the most fabulous cakes and pies! She had even made the centerfold page in Playboy, starring in a Harley Davidson Motorcycle ad. After selling the truck stop in 1987, she spent most of her time raising her grandchildren, watching wheel of fortune, traveling, casino gambling, taking long car rides and breeding Maltese. She was highly successful in her dog breeding business, having sold thousands of Grade A puppies to loving homes all around the world.

Corlene loved her family undoubtedly and was there for every birthday, holiday, and family tradition up to the very day she passed. Corlene raised six children, going on to help raise over 12 grandchildren, and held a very special role to some of her great-grandchildren; Corriana Byrd, Ella and Anna Locke, Tyler Zimmer, Colten Thwaites, Alexander and Wyatt Hornacek, and Paige Duffy.

Corlene had an unwavering faith in God, and her confidence grew stronger as she got closer to her final days. Calling upon the Lord to bring peace to family and friends and alleviate any sadness as she passed.

Corlene joins her grandparents, Charlie & Kitty Makin; both her parents; her late husbands; sister, Patricia Woirol; son, Paul Hornacek; daughter, Brenda Hornacek; and lifelong friend, Larry Vance, in Heaven, where they are sure to be spending their days laughing, dancing, drinking old fashioned, and watching over their family.

She is survived by children, Kimberly, Gregory, Allene, and Angela; her grandchildren, Paula Hollis, Rebecca Hornacek, Melissa Hornacek, Paulenea Hornacek, Jennifer Mendez, Ashley Hornacek, Xandra Gowan, Billy Sharnowski, Christina Sharnowski, Heather Sharnowski, Stephanie Sharnowski, and Sabrina Sharnowski; sisters, Barb Adams and Sharon Mack; many great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends.

Corlene was loved by so many. Her generous spirit, tender heart, and lasting love left an impression wherever she went. She never met a stranger that didn't become a companion; she always went out of her way to help anyone in need and had an incredible work ethic that will forever be remembered. She will forever be missed.

Arrangements Entrusted: Clock Funeral Home, located at 1469 Peck St, Muskegon, MI

VISITATION: Monday, December 19, 2022, from 11:00 AM to 12:00 PM

SERVICE Monday, December 19, 2022, at 12:00 PM with Rev. Carlos Ramos officiating. INTERMENT: following service at Laketon Cemetery, 620 Horton Rd. Muskegon, MI

MEMORIAL: Please visit www.clockfuneralhome.com to leave a memory or sign the online guestbook.

OBITUARY - LUDINGTON DAILY NEWS

We’ll remember this day for the rest of our lives; Dec. 8, 2022, Corlene LaMay (Woirol) Sharnowski, an incredibly strong woman, earned her wings and set sail at age 87, just shy of her 88th birthday. She began her journey Home to meet our Lord at Heaven’s Gate, greeted by many loved ones that had gone before her.

Corlene was born on Dec. 17, 1934, in Muskegon. Married at age 17, she was blessed with six beautiful children Paul Hornacek, Kimberly Hornacek, Brenda Hornacek, Gregory Hornacek, Allene Sharnowski and Angela Sharnowski. She loved her family undoubtedly and never missed a holiday or family tradition. She raised six children and 12 grandchildren, and held a very special role in the lives of many of her great-grandchildren. Corlene had an unwavering faith in God, and her confidence grew stronger as she got closer to her final days, calling upon the Lord to bring peace and comfort to “her people,” her beloved family and friends, as she would say.

Children survive her, Kimberly, Gregory, Allene and Angela; her grandchildren Paula Hollis, Rebecca Hornacek, Melissa Hornacek, Paulenea Hornacek, Jennifer Mendez, Ashley Hornacek, Xandra Gowan, Billy Sharnowski, Christina Sharnowski, Heather Sharnowski, Stephanie Sharnowski and Sabrina Sharnowski; sisters Barb Adams and Sharon Mack; many great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.

Please join us in service at Clock Funeral Home, 1469 Peck St., Muskegon, on Dec. 19, 2022, at 12 p.m., with Rev. Carlos Ramos officiating. Interment immediately following service located in Laketon Cemetery, North Muskegon. Please visit https://www.gofundme.com/f/Lasting-Memory-Corlene-LaMay-Sharnowski or www.clockfuneralhome.com to view full obituary, leave memories, make a lasting donation, and sign the online guestbook.