--- Please scroll down to the "Updates" section of this page for more recent news ---
Tuesday, July 8th, 2025 - 812p ET
Have had a few ups and downs the past few days, but that's something we've been advised is likely. There is no established roadmap for what level of recovery is attainable - we are frankly lucky to have come this far at all, and because of that, there's very little in the way of historical case data of other patients to guide us.
It has been decided that for the time being Mom will have a procedure for an abdominal feeding tube so that she's able to get a sufficient level of nutrition. Out of respect for her, I won't go into too much detail about her specific condition or capabilities, but I have spoken at length with the professionals and am confident this is the right decision.
This procedure was actually supposed to have happened today, but was tentatively moved to tomorrow (could get rescheduled again). I will do my best to update here and the GoFundMe below.
All shares and donations are greatly appreciated: https://www.gofundme.com/f/854vhd-help-holly
Sunday, July 6th, 2025 - 7:57p ET
Brendan Carson posting here - apologies for the delay in response - in short, we have some excellent news.
We can not thank everyone enough for their generous donations.
Please do feel free to share our GoFundMe link, as well: https://www.gofundme.com/manage/854vhd-help-holly/edit
First, we ask that nobody attempt to contact or visit Holly, not only for health and security reasons, but also to avoid inundating the hardworking medical professionals. We also ask that nobody reveal the names of any medical facilities, or potential medical facilities in the future, if they are made aware of them at any time. Finally, and the most important reason, it appears Holly herself has indicated that she does not wish to have visitors at this time.
Holly regained consciousness several days ago and has been steadily improving. While we aren’t completely “out of the woods” in terms of very serious medical complications arising and no specific amount of recovery is guaranteed, we are tremendously happy to announce she is showing signs of responsiveness, though greatly limited at this time due to a tracheostomy she had performed as well as muscle atrophy due to having been completely immobile for approximately 14 days. There is no clear path set out for us, by any means, but I say from experience that Holly has always told me that we’ll “try our best - that’s all we can do!”
As I shift my focus more and more toward Holly’s rehabilitation I will increasingly take steps back from outreach. I apologize to the many amazing individuals whom I have not returned calls, texts, emails, and messages to over the past several days. I give my word that this time was extraordinarily well spent with my mother, taking care of her.
Feel free to share our support our GoFundMe - thanks!: https://www.gofundme.com/f/854vhd-help-holly
Laura Clowdus
Friday, July 4th, 2025
Update on Holly's status as of July 4, 2025 at 11PM - everything remains stable and slowly progressing still at this time. We apologize for not being more communicative the last few days, we have been utterly overwhelmed with administrative and financial tasks coordinating the next step of her rehabilitation process. We will be posting a more detailed and indepth update in the next few days. Thank you so much for all the check in's with us and for your continued love and support of miss Holly Lee and Brendan.
Brendan Carson
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2025
Very quick update on today as it was very much a roller coaster and I'm "on call".
We were advised to move forward with the removal of the EVD and intubation as well as perform a tracheostomy. This was a bit sudden as she was supposed to have had 24 hours straight up being clamped on the EVD prior to moving forward with these next steps. However, I was advised on all relevant factors by various doctors and they all assured me that this was the least risky decision to make at this time.
I was also actively advised to spend time with Mom pre-op and I spent every single second I could reassuring her that I and all of us are her loving, caring for, and protecting her.
From a medical procedure standpoint, I think everything went as well as possible, and I was greatly impressed with all the teams involved.
However, it came to my attention that in a set of possible outcomes it was likely Mom would need to be transferred to one of various "levels" of long-term care facilities, some of which likely aren't covered by her current insurance. I want nothing more than the absolute best for Mom and spent every other single second I had that wasn't invaluably spent by her side, gently talking to her, being bounced around, hung up on, and generally just yoyo-ed by various insurance departments. I'm not really too sure where things stand with them, and I don't have the best feeling about it, but am doing everything I can. Basically just waiting on painfully slow Power of Attorney approval processes at this point with apparently nobody understanding the phrase "this needs to be expedited to now, please, as your 3/7-day approval process is too long for it to matter."
Assuming everything proceeds well with Mom's recovery from her operations today, the ICU will start to come down on her sedation to a point where she may regain consciousness/awareness over the next 12 hours or so, though nothing is certain.
I spent 5+ minutes convincing the kind nightshift nurse to please, please, please give me a call, no matter if 3, 4, or 5am, the moment Mom appears to be waking.
Brendan Carson
Tuesday, July 1st, 2025
---post copied from a Facebook post I made just now and slightly modified for consistency's-sake. Please excuse any non-sequiturs---
I know there's been some confusion around where updates get posted, so I'll add that we've consolidated everything on Mom's GoFundMe for the time being. We do not expect any financial contribution from anyone one bit, and the greatest help we've received has been knowledge-based (medical, therapeutic, finance management/health insurance navigation, etc.) rather than direct donations, but all donations are deeply appreciated. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of those who have given so much to us - it truly means the world. I do my best to incorporate everyone's input and advice (sometimes I can't just because of the sheer volume of it!) and invite anyone and everyone to reach out to me with it any time - please just bare in mind that I may take a bit to respond, but I promise I will just as soon as I am able to. Even more valuable than direct monetary contributions, just sharing Mom's story has lead us to meet so many knowledgeable individuals Mom didn't even know personally, so do please feel free to share our posts on Facebook or GoFundMe link any way you see fit and are comfortable with - again, no expectations whatsoever.
So many friends and family have reached out to me directly and asked me to relay messages to Mom in person. While she hasn't exhibited any outward signs of awareness or responsiveness yet (which is completely fine and to be expected, we're patient for when she's ready), I still make a point of talking with her as much as I'm able to every day. I've started getting so many requests from all you amazing people I've started copying and pasting them onto a list I keep and read them to Mom every time I visit her.
I hope I'm not opening the flood gates too wide here (), as I know how many of you have been deeply touched by and love Mom, so to the best of my ability I will gladly relay anything you'd like said to her "face to face". The only things I humbly ask of you are that you please contact me directly rather than through any of Mom's means of communication, either on Facebook Messenger (https://www.facebook.com/brendan.carson is my profile) and kindly let me know your name if I haven't already been in contact with you.
As a brief health status update - I think Mom's doing as well as possible again today. A bit of a low-grade fever and other minor complications here and there, but I've been reassured it's nothing of relatively great concern at this time by many staff members. In terms of things I'm able to help Mom with physically myself, I've been doing as best I can to massage Mom (the irony is not lost on me!) to help with some fluid buildup occurring in her limbs due to a lack of movement (the nurses do the best they can but are extremely busy); however, they're staying a bit more swollen than I'd like. I've also been doing some very light passive range of movement (rotating wrists, and hopefully ankles here soon today) to some success, I think, but am also finding that her joints are a bit stiffer than I'd like. I am open to any input along these lines and Laura and I have been working very slowly to start getting medical and therapeutic professionals in for visits at the ICU Mom is in. If this is something you're interested in and are qualified/certified to do, we'd love to start talking to you (if we haven't been already!). If things with us are moving a bit slower than you'd like in terms of you getting in for a visit, please do not take offense and understand that everything we're doing is 100% focused on what's best for Mom's health and recovery - we couldn't be more grateful for everyone's support and enthusiasm to help us, and most importantly to help Mom.
If I haven't said it enough already, again I thank each and every one of you, and I will always do anything I can for any of Mom's amazing friends so long as I am able to.
Sincerely,
Brendan (I'm the guy in the primary GoFundMe picture with Mom!)
Facebook/Messenger Profile Link: https://www.facebook.com/brendan.carson
Cell: [phone redacted]
Brendan Carson
Sunday, June 29, 2025
I do my best not to set any expectations for Mom's recovery, but today felt, and she looked, very good. We took another “break day;” however, she seemed to be very subtly moving her entire body quite a bit, and my intuition was that it wasn't in a bad or pained way. Laura told me that it may be some kind of myotonic spasm and explained it would likely be a good sign if anything (any input would be appreciated, so feel free to reach out).
I sat by Mom for a few hours, mainly talking to her, but also trying out some passive range of motion techniques her friend had taught me over the phone. Yesterday, Laura pointed out that Mom's skin had firmed up, which I'd just noticed for the first time. If I recall correctly, it may be due to the retention of fluids and lack of movement. While the nurses do move her quite frequently, I'm sure it's not as much as she should be moved in a perfect world, so I'm doing my best to fill in the gaps. Doing my best to ensure I wasn't causing her pain, mainly by looking for any strained muscle movement, I gently massaged her left arm, reassuring her I and everyone else were taking good care of her. I'd asked the nurse if rotating Mom’s joints and massaging her right arm was a good idea (that's where her arterial line is), but I was advised against it.
I told a good number of chuckle-worthy jokes which I'm sure Mom enjoyed despite her lack of laughing. I eventually realized I was hungry and promised her I'd sneak in some artichoke, lobster, and melted butter for her just as soon as I was able. I can not emphasize enough that what I'm about to say is most likely due to my sleep-deprived perception, but it really felt like she gave my fingers a subtle, ever-so-slight squeeze. Aware of that even in the moment, it was still a really nice feeling.
Brendan Carson
Saturday, June 28, 2025
Called the ICU this morning and learned we were doing another “break day”. I called several times throughout the day to gauge whether the dayshift nurse thought my presence would be beneficial or not “in their personal opinion,” a question qualifier I’ve learned to append quite frequently as of late. While I had no expectation of a “yes” at any point, I was just a little dismayed I never got one.
On the plus side, I did accomplish many other things behind the scenes that I know Mom would be proud of and made happy by, so it was a good day.
Brendan Carson
Friday, June 27, 2025
Called the ICU this morning and learned we were doing another “break day”. I called several times throughout the day to gauge whether the dayshift nurse thought my presence would be beneficial or not “in their personal opinion,” a question qualifier I’ve learned to append quite frequently as of late. While I had no expectation of a “yes” at any point, I was just a little dismayed I never got one.
On the plus side, I did accomplish many other things behind the scenes that I know Mom would be proud of and made happy by, so it was a good day.
Brendan Carson
Jun 26, 2025
Thursday, June 26, 2025
12:10pm - Hi, everyone, very brief update just to say that Mom is getting a bit of a "break day" today in that we've come up a bit on the sedation and aren't doing any clamping of the EVD (I believe) today. She's been working so extra hard the past 2 days I think it's only fair that she gets a bit of a rest and none of this is outside the realm of our expectations at this point by any means.
She did have a bit of a fever last night, but I was assured around 2am by the nurse who was kind enough to give me a call back at her own volition that everything was under control and all systems normal. While I haven't brought it up today (don't worry, I asked them literally 50 other, more pressing questions instead) nobody indicated the fever was causing any issue at present, so once again, I'll assume no news is good news and don't want to inundate the staff because I have a slew of items I want to go over with them later, and I don't want them to hate my guts just yet.
Laura and I are standing by at the ready in the waiting room. We've both said "hi" to Mom, of course, but want to be respectful of her rest time. Laura volunteered to go out to get donuts for all the wonderful ICU staff just now, otherwise we're hunkered down until the ICU physician is available. I introduced myself to him earlier and briefly outlined my agenda for today and he assured me he would talk to me when he could, and I could tell he was being 100% sincere, so we're all set.
Brendan Carson
Jun 25, 2025
Wednesday, June 25, 2025
Today we started off by tackling more of the financial/administrative side of managing Mom's affairs - something easy to become frustrated with when you just want to yell into the phone "No, she can't give you her consent because she's not able to speak at the moment, and I don't know when she'll be able to! Surely you must have encountered this type of situation before at your company in the [industry related to healthcare, finance, etc.] industry before!"
I'd been particularly freaking out about her health insurance and that they had or could potentially slow down her treatment somehow. I think that this fear ultimately turned out to solely be based on a visual bug on the awful-insurance-platform-that-shall-not-be-named website. It'd said that a pre-authorization for a procedure was "In Progress" even though it (as it eventually turned out) had already completed. Regardless, it led me to (hopefully) be better equipped to address these types of issues in the future, so "yay," I guess? A pretty good deal for the amount sanity it cost me, I suppose.
After that, Laura and I visited Mom. She was looking really good today (in my personal and relative opinion). I spoke with her dayshift nurse and got the daily download. Pretty similar to yesterday - our plan for the day was once again to clamp the EVD for as long as possible with as little sedation as possible. Essentially, the purpose of this is to "give her body a workout", or at least, that's the terminology I've settled on in order to memorize it's purpose amongst a sea of head-spinning medical jargon. It's tough work, but necessary for her progress, and in the wise words of my mother, she herself was "being a trooper!" Yesterday, it had taken a bit of a toll on her, I would imagine in the same way running a marathon would wear on anyone, and so I'd not said but three words the day prior in fear that I'd put too much strain on her mentally. However, I was able to speak the day away today, and that felt really good. I pulled up my daily list of messages I transcribe from all her friends and family and read that to her, too.
Laura and I took turns hanging out with Mom. At one point, I came out of Mom's room and joked to Laura "Mom is being such a jerk to me! She only gains consciousness for a bit when I'm not in the room!". Her day-shift nurse had told me she opened her eyes for a bit when I wasn't in the room. She still wasn't responding to any commands (like "can you wiggle your toes?"), but we've been reassured many times that this is totally normal in the range of expectations to be had and that it doesn't indicate anything, positive or negative, for her long-term recovery.
Eventually, Mom got a little tired from her "workout" and they decided to increase her sedation, though they kept the clamp on, which is definite progress! Telling her my daily mantra, "We all love you, we all miss you, we're all so proud of you and we are here when you want to say 'hi,'" I resolved myself to not let pesky insurance companies get in my way tomorrow. I'll get in a bit earlier so that she can hear her son's voice be the first to ask "can you wiggle your toes for me?" I truly hope I get to see some wiggly toes, but I won't be disappointed if it isn't time just yet.
Brendan Carson
Jun 24, 2025
Tuesday, June 24, 2025
---Summary of events, written by Brendan---
Thank you to my girlfriend, Laura, who has been with me every step of the way and gone above and beyond in every possible way.
She's done a fantastic job of cataloging events, and in an attempt to avoid being redundant, I'll add just a few details of my observations from between where her previous accounts end and the present begins.
---Begin summary of events---
Monday, 06/23/25 - approx. 10:30a - I began meeting with various members of Mom's many medical teams whom I had not had the opportunity to meet with sooner. Everyone who was able to talk to me thus far had not only demonstrated an incredibly high degree of knowledge and skill, but also a bedside manner that reassured me my mother was in more than capable hands. Because of this, I was hopeful that I would only continue to be impressed by the healthcare providers I'd planned on meeting.
I first met with the Neurologist and his large team (unfortunately, I don't recall all of their specific credentials, but they unquestionably made me feel very unqualified to be in the room) to go over things like Mom's medical/family history, what her prognosis and treatment plan was (something I've asked each new staff member I've met since Thursday, 06/19/25, just to get each of their unique perspectives), potential complications, various timelines, and most importantly to me, what, if anything, I could do myself at present and potentially at various points in the future depending on Mom's possible progress paths.
I don't believe anything in life is more painful and sorrowful than to suspect that the answer to the latter-most point is something along the lines of "little to nothing", and I imagine most of those reading this stream-of-conscious thought at this point, paragraphs down a page, would tend to agree. I think I was told in the most polite terms possible that my suspicions were correct - I appreciated the nicety about it, but I also think little else positive can be said of this conversation because of it.
Update - approx. 11:15am - I spoke with the Neurosurgeon. I'd apparently been very confused, up until now, as to what a "Neurosurgeon" was. In retrospect, this may have been largely because I had been told by several individuals that another specific individual was, indeed, a "Neurosurgeon" and by several other individuals that that "Neurosurgeon" was not, in fact, a "Neurosurgeon". There were also vague descriptions of what personality traits a "Neurosurgeon" possessed. At the very least, these descriptions are all 100% honest accounts of what I remember being told about "Neurosurgeon"s, but memory is a fickle bitch.
Regardless, I met with an "actual Neurosurgeon" at approximately 11:15am, and boy, I was impressed. I try to make these personal accounts of my Mom's treatment as void of anyone's personal identifying information as possible, but "this honest-to-God Neurosurgeon" told me that the exact same thing that happened to my mother this Thursday past had happened to his mother when he was just 2/3rds my age (probably quite some time ago judging by the color of his on-call-24/7-shadow), and I not only sincerely but also instantly believed him. He "got" me. More importantly, he "got" my Mom, and I was damn-well convinced he truly wanted to save my Mom. "Relief" doesn't even begin to describe what I felt in that moment. In my perception of time, we spent what felt like 45 seconds talking - me trying to explain hopes and worries from a complete layperson's perspective, him trying to explain the likely outcomes of my thoughts back to me in a complete layperson's perspective, and us meeting somewhere in the middle. I'm nearly, almost, certainly sure we spent about 45 actual-minutes discussing it all together, but I'm guessing we spent what felt like 45 hours conversing to him because I'm sure he had no fewer than one million other things to do. He still took the time to make me feel like he had every last second in the world, and for that, I am forever and infinitely grateful.
Update - approx. 10:45pm - a lot of the the day had passed, and a lot of things had happened. I'm hazy on it all now, writing about it after what feels like decades later, but I spent as much time as possible by my mother's side, talking to her, reassuring her she had amazing medical teams taking care of her, a massive group of loving friends and family cheering for her, and me standing by protecting her every step of the way.
Flash forward to me finally being back home, I called the ICU to get an idea of tomorrow's itinerary because I knew, according to the "bonafide Neurosurgeon's" account, that the ICU teams were going to put her through the ringer. Basically, they were going to reduce the amount of EVD machine assistance she had in pumping out her CFS and hemorrhagic blood - they wanted her body to do as much of the work as possible on its own. This would come with a schedule still incomprehensible to me of reducing and increasing her sedative medications.
While thinking all this through, as well as what I'm going to say, in the most intelligent, yet polite, sounding way after having had to hack and slash my way past the most anachronistic phone tree of 2025, a voice finally responds to me. That voice informed me of very many things to be happy about and inspired by, I'm sure, but all I took away was that my mother had apparently been conscious several times in my absence... and I had not been informed of it.
After consulting Laura, and a qualified relative, I was sure there was no way of knowing whether me returning to my mother's bedside at that specific moment in time would have any impact whatsoever; however, I had to find out anyway.
We drove to the hospital. In my increasingly sleep deprived state, I made several driving route and parking place calls that probably set us back a few minutes, but I was determined to be right next to Mom as quickly as possible.
Eventually, we get there. I pretend like I'm not red-hot annoyed with the attending nurse and step into Mom's room. She's as serene as ever, or rather, she's as serene as my most beautiful memories of her, which are the only ones which seem to matter at this time. I'm relieved. I'm relieved because not only does she not seem to be in any pain or confusion, but at a baser level, I'm relieved because she's not in a state that I would be emotionally ill-equipped to deal with - and for that, I feel pathetic. I assure myself I'll do better the next time this feeling surfaces (and, don't worry, I do).
For several hours, I read to Mom from a book we had once listened to together on a road trip. I could only hope that it was as comforting to her as it was to me.
Saturday, 06/21/25, 4:35pm - Holly has remained stable throughout the last 24 hours following the surgery. Tomorrow afternoon she will have cleared the first major acute hurdle for her survival and recovery. Although many potential risks arise from each acute phase we enter, likelihood of survival increases significantly from 72 hours onward following the initial hemorrhage. She is defying the odds and defeating this challenge every step of the way so far. Please keep praying for her brain to heal and no clotting or vasospasm to occur and for her left brain functions like language and comprehension to remain intact and without deficit. Please keep her heart and lungs lifted in prayer as well, she has pneumonia and is on heavy antibiotics proactively for any infection and the risk of cardiac events begins in this next acute phase. They placed a PICC line earlier today as a precaution for the next phase of vasoactive medications which can irritate the veins during normal IV administration. They also replaced the arterial line at the same time in preparation for the next acute phase she is entering.
I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to many of you today about Holly. She is stable and there have been no changes still up to this point. I won't delay updating everyone if we receive any form of update that changes, but no news right now is 100% good news. Brendan and I are so exhausted and sleep is proving difficult to facilitate for over 72 hours now. We've both had about a nap or two worth of sleep since this began. So we are just trying to rest as much as possible today and tonight in anticipation that we'll be camped out in the ICU for the next few days starting tomorrow. I promise to get back to each of you individually that have reached out either overnight tonight or first thing tomorrow. Keep praying though please! The prayers are working and she is a miracle in progress. Thank you!!
Holly continues to be miraculously and perfectly stable. They started intracranial doppler monitoring over the weekend which helps to identify the early signs of vasospasms if they happen. The majority of cases start to show vasospasms between day 3-5, with peak intensity occurring at about the week mark post initial hemorrhage. After that point, the vasospasms will resolve on their own sometime after day 21 post-hemorrhage. Although vasospasms and delayed cerebral infarction are different processes, the signs of vasospasms tend to indicate the likelihood of a stroke occurring. Something like up to 70% of non-traumatic brain injuries will experience the "angry brain" syndrome of vasospasms. The fact that Holly has not had any signs of vasospasms or delayed stroke now on day 5 is amazing and miraculous. The neurosurgeon told Brendan today that considering everything so far, his prognosis is that everything is looking really good. Keep on praying!
Friday, 06/20/2025, 12:47am - tests showed two severe intracranial hemorrhages and Holly is transferred to a facility equipped with the necessary equipment and staff for neurosurgery. Holly is still unresponsive and intubated, but showing reflex and movement response on both the L and R sides. The doctors have said that it's not great and that we aren't out of the woods but that the L/R reflexes and responses are a good sign thus far.
Update - 4:39am - stabilized in ER while waiting for ICU room to open and Neurology to assess in the later morning. When we left the ER at 3am, they were placing an arterial line to monitor blood pressure more closely and a catheter. Still sedated and unconscious though for comfort due to the intubation.
Update - 11:45am - Holly is being prepped for surgery now. The subarachnoid hemorrhages are the result of an aneurysm. Prayers for the procedure to go perfectly and recovery to be swift are most welcome.
Update - 12:30pm - Holly is taken into surgery for an aneurysm and subarachnoid hemorrhage clip and coil
Update - approx. 4pm - She should be finishing up soon as they initially told us 2-3 hours. We haven't heard anything yet but we are believing that her procedure went well and she will recover fully. The next 72 hrs are the most important for now as a rebleeding of the aneurysm in that time will probably be fatal. Please keep Holly and Brendan in your prayers. We are doing okay for the moment but we are exhausted and emotionally drained. So any uplifting in prayer or positive thoughts are more than welcome.
Update - approx. 4:30pm - Holly is out of surgery. Everything went as well as it could but there was a blood clot found at the end of the aneurysm coiling in a branch off the intracranial carotid. Due to the coils they weren't able to remove the clot. The next 15 days we will wait and watch for signs of vasospasms, additional clot formation, and ischemic stroke. Please don't stop praying for mama Holly to come back to us fully healed and with no deficit. She is such a beautiful person and we all just really want to see her smile and joke and cooking her master dishes again really soon.
