The last four and a half years of trying to grow our family has been quite the journey. The road is marked with crushing disappointments and heartbreak, as well as inexpressible joy and continuous provision from God. When you are little and play make believe about your family and all the kids you will have, you never once imagine that it won’t be easy. You don’t picture month after month of disappointment and slowly dying hope. However, without those years of struggle perhaps we wouldn’t be who we are and where we are now.
Before we even began trying for children, we both had a heart for adoption and envisioned our family filled with biological and adopted children so it wasn’t a difficult decision to pursue our foster to adopt license after several unsuccessful months of trying to get pregnant. We figured we’d pursue both routes and God would provide in His way. Within nine months of beginning the foster process we were blessed with a two day old baby boy. We still remember the excitement and nerves as we drove to the hospital that day to pick up our little man. We didn’t know at the time but hoped he’d be ours forever. Eleven months later, Eli legally became a member of our family but he was our son from the moment we laid eyes on him in the hospital. He is our heart and biggest blessing from the Lord.
We have continued to have a deep desire for another child and sibling for our son, and so the saga continues. There is something crushing as a woman who hasn’t experienced the miracle of giving life. Women were made to give life and Quinn has struggled with feeling incomplete and broken. At least she is in good company throughout the pages of the Bible with women like Elizabeth, Sarah, Hannah and Rachel, who provided solace and the encouragement of God’s perfect timing. Over the course of the next three and a half years we have endured at least one miscarriage and four unsuccessful fertility treatments in our desire for Quinn to carry a child and for us to have biological children. We’ve also loved and raised a beautiful newborn girl for the first seven months of her life through foster care until her reunification with her family. We praise God for her parents’ healing but definitely felt the pain of loss when she went home and still feel it at times. Shortly after her return our three year old son began asking if he can have “a baby who will stay.” Hearing that from your child is enough to pierce any parent’s heart.
All this has led us to where we are now. We began looking into possible next steps which included further fertility treatments and private adoption. Embryo adoption was brought to our attention, which intrigued us. Experts estimate that well over a half million embryos have accumulated in fertility clinics around the world due to the in vitro process (a medical procedure whereby an egg is fertilized by sperm outside the body and the fertilized embryo is implanted in the uterus). We believe that life occurs at conception and these created lives now face a destiny that is uncertain and may never be given the opportunity to thrive. Many will sit frozen for an undetermined amount of time or eventually be thrown away or used for research. Proverbs 31 says “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute,” and we can’t think of a better example of obedience to this command. We feel led to adopt embryos and give these little ones a chance to enjoy life and be loved as our sons or daughters.
The concept sounded completely crazy to us but the more we read about it and prayed about it the more it made sense for our family. It meant that Quinn would be able to carry a child and we’d be able to adopt. If we were able to go back in time and had the chance to have Quinn carry and deliver Eli, we would have jumped at the opportunity.
With that being said, we are asking for financial support in adopting embryos. The costs are fairly equivalent to IVF costs. The treatment cost begins at $8,465, which doesn’t included ultrasounds, medications, and testing that will be necessary throughout the process. We begin the first consultation appointment on April 19th.
This situation has been a truly humbling experience for the both of us. We tend to be private people and this level of publicity has us out of our comfort zone, but feel lead to share. Please support us in growing our family either financially, in prayer or both. We can't begin to express what this will mean to us, to our son, and to the child we hope God has for us.
Thank you ever so much!
Zach, Quinn & Eli
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