Help for the Dills

In 2018, my husband and high school sweetheart took his life, leaving me to raise our large family on my own. We both had two children from previous relationships when we got married and then had four precious boys together. He was the sole provider for our family, and his death led to us losing everything, including my car and home. We moved in with family while I worked to build my credit and save money to buy a new home. After two years of going to school, saving, and working on my credit, I was able to buy my first home and give my family a fresh start. Things were going well; I was working remotely, allowing me to pick the kids up from school and avoid childcare expenses. In September of last year, I began struggling with irregular heart rates, leaving me in bed for close to 6 weeks. I began to get better but still struggled intermittently. I was eventually diagnosed with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which is related to a chronic nerve condition I have suffered from since childhood. (CRPS/ complex regional pain syndrome). Unfortunately, this has been exasperated by an up-and-down battle with grief, PTSD, and depression brought on by my marriage to an addict, his sudden passing, and other obstacles I have faced since.

I lost my job because I could not work. I had a job lined up in May of this year that I thought would have been the answer to my prayers. Unfortunately, the person I would be working for has disappeared. I always pray for God to close any doors he doesn't want for me and trust that he closed this one for a reason. I used credit cards to get by, expecting my situation to improve, but it didn't. My cards are maxed out, the credit I worked so hard to build is shot, and I risk losing our home. I applied and was approved for a forbearance on my mortgage, which is set to expire at the end of this month. I have recently managed to control my POTS and have had no recent flare-ups. I am ready and want to work, but my situation as a single mom does limit me in some ways.

Child care would cost $400 a week if I worked outside the home. I have skills and education that allow me to do freelance work and rebuild an old Etsy shop that I also neglected during my illness. But both things take time, which I am running out of. I receive survivor benefits, which barely cover my mortgage and utilities, not including groceries, gas, or anything else that may come up. I hate asking for help. I never want anything I haven't worked for, but there is more than my pride at stake, and my children have lost enough. Any amount is helpful to me. My goal is to help cover regular bills while building my own businesses ( unless a different job becomes available) and apply anything extra to pay off the debt I accumulated last year and needs for my kids, such as braces. If you made it this far, I thank you. If you can't help financially, I ask that you pray for my situation, as my ultimate faith is in God and his goodness. Thank you, and God Bless.