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Raising for a Rainbow Baby

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People always have a vision of what their path would look like once they decided to have children. It goes something like this….1. Decide on when to get pregnant 2. Get pregnant on the first try 3. Figure out how you are going to afford a baby 4. Start planning on what colors you want your nursery to be 5. Flip a coin to decide between your spouse and your top names 6. Keep the wife as happy as possible 7. Labor occurs at the 40 week mark 8. Baby is healthy, Mom is healthy and you live happily ever after. What so many people discover, as Justin and I have, is more times than not, the path to parenthood doesn’t go as you envisioned. We decided to start trying for a baby back in Oct 2011 and shortly learned that we had some complications, which required I go on fertility drugs. After exactly a year of trying, we learned we were pregnant and were ecstatic. If you have ever tried for a baby, you know how discouraging getting a negative pregnancy test can be month after month. But finally, it was happening. Let the planning begin. It was at our 15 week ultrasound that our lives were changed forever. We learned that our baby had a lethal form of Skeletal Dysplasia and would not survive outside the womb. Here we were, first time parents to be, learning that not only our baby would be a little person but he had less than 1 % chance of surviving. Justin and I decided right then and there that despite the odds, we would fight for him and enjoy every minute God gave us making sure he knew nothing but love.
Asher Knox was born on May 26, 2013, arriving 4 weeks early and much bigger than we all thought, 6 lbs 10 ounces. He looked just like his Daddy. He was perfect….he was OURS. He grabbed our hearts the first moment he opened his eyes. It was at that moment that we were consumed with love and knew that being a parent was the most important thing to us. Asher went to be with Jesus the following day and every day since, we have missed him more and more. We told Asher before he passed that we wanted him to pick out his brother or sister and we know he is working on that right now. Asher knows that another baby will not replace him. He is our first born and no matter how many children we have, he will never be forgotten. But we also know that God gave us the desire to be parents. Our arms are empty and Justin and I want the chance to love another, just as we do Asher.
Adoption has always been in the plan. Our “vision” was to have one and then a few years later, adopt whatever we didn’t have..boy or girl. Of course, our plan was very different than what we thought it would be. With the 25% reoccurrence rate of having the genetic disorder that Asher had in future pregnancies, along with a recent miscarriage and another year of fertility struggles, we feel that God is telling us the time is right to pursue adoption. We are ready. We are scared, excited, and nervous but ultimately hoping and praying that this time, we get to pull away from the hospital with our new son or daughter in the backseat. We are ready to meet our rainbow baby (a baby that comes after a pregnancy loss, the hope after the storm).We are still trying the old fashioned way, but we thought, why wait to get the ball rolling on adoption now? Now , we just wonder which will come first!
As most of you know, the financial aspects of an adoption are what prevent so many from adopting. The typical cost for an adoption is $35,000-$45,000. That shocks most people, as it did us. That’s like asking someone to pay for 4 years of college, in cash, up front. There is just no way Justin and I could do that on our own. So that’s where you come in. Our plan is to raise every bit of that, one dollar at a time. We will be getting very creative with our fundraising efforts….several garage sales, a friends/family and neighborhood pig roast and an auction are already in the works. But there are many of you who want to help from afar. We have set up this gofundme account so you can donate any amount that you feel lead to do. No amount is too great or too small, but each penny is appreciated. We didn’t get through our journey with Asher alone and we can’t succeed on this adoption journey without the same love and support from friends, family and complete strangers.



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Lindsey Slay
Marietta, GA

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