The Fight For Motherhood
Donation protected
I know this is wordy, but please stay with me.
As many of you know, my sister Jessica is the mother of two sons, Brayden and Cooper.
Being a parent is a huge part of her identify. And although she was forced to do her fair share of multi-tasking and juggling schedules to be a single parent to Brayden, her job as a mother to Cooper has been an endless road of hardship, a constant battle, a fight with no end in sight. The most frustrating part is that these challenges are not because he is a difficult child, not because she is failing in any way as a caregiver, but because almost the entirety of his four years of life have involved legal battles with an uncompromising other parent. No matter the cost, no matter the reason, the litigation never pauses.
After the initial one year-long custody battle in family court where Jessica spent $25,000 and joint custody was established, Cooper’s other parent almost immediately elected to dispute the decision. Because my sister was the breadwinner of the prior marriage, she pays child support despite the joint-custody status. Her ex uses this child support money to continue to fund legal battles and has financed a handful of lawyers in an attempt to drain my sister of all financial resources. This led to Jessica financing another $20,000 in legal fees for the judge to dismiss her ex’s attempt to overturn the prior agreement. And yet her ex again filed a motion to change custody status, at which point Jessica’s prior attorney told her she could not endure another custody battle with “one of the most unreasonable parties she has ever opposed.”
This forced my sister to represent herself in Supreme court because she could not afford to retain another attorney. Fortunately the judge again ruled in Jessica’s favor, to keep the custody as originally agreed upon. This was answered by her ex filing an appeal to ask the Appellate Court to overturn the custody order. This leads us to the present day, where my sister is currently spending hours upon hours trying to keep up with legal jargon to continue to represent herself.
Despite the current custody status, Cooper’s other parent continues to violate court orders, at one point refusing to return him to Jessica “until the pandemic ended”, making decisions about Cooper’s health and education by enrolling him in schools and canceling doctors appointments without Jessica’s consent, and worst of all poisoning this innocent child’s mind, coaching Cooper to call her by her first name- and that he should never refer to her as “Mama.”
It has become clear that despite her best efforts to co-parent, to be reasonable with the unreasonable, to try to maintain normalcy for her four year old, that joint custody is no longer an option. My sister’s ex has petitioned for Jessica’s rights to Cooper as his adoptive parent to be terminated. They are about to begin yet another legal battle which my sister cannot afford.
This is where we are asking for your help. My sister has successfully self-navigated the Supreme Court and Appellate Court to fight her ex’s attempts to appeal the initial custody agreement. But this is now a battle for sole physical custody. Incorrectly filing documents or using the wrong punctuation could cost her the ultimate price- custody of her child. She needs to have adequate representation to properly fight a battle that she doesn’t deserve to be in. She has used her last finances to pay the initial retainer on new representation. She has maximized her credit limits. She has taken out all possible loans. She has deferred her student loan payments and her mortgage. She has borrowed money from family. She has considered selling her home if that means not having to represent herself again, but is fearful to give up the source of stability for her two children.
My sister has tried to be kind, to be forgiving, to turn the other cheek to someone she once loved, because that was in the best interest of her child. She now needs my help—needs your help—needs a village—so that she can continue to be his parent. There are some fights in life we choose, and some that are forced upon us. And while this seemingly endless fight has nearly broken her, I hope that together we can help her to rise, and finally give Cooper the stability he deserves.
Thank you so very much in advance for any contribution, especially during such a financially challenging time for many. If you cannot contribute, I’m sure my sister would appreciate your prayers. Your kindness is seen and truly appreciated.
As many of you know, my sister Jessica is the mother of two sons, Brayden and Cooper.
Being a parent is a huge part of her identify. And although she was forced to do her fair share of multi-tasking and juggling schedules to be a single parent to Brayden, her job as a mother to Cooper has been an endless road of hardship, a constant battle, a fight with no end in sight. The most frustrating part is that these challenges are not because he is a difficult child, not because she is failing in any way as a caregiver, but because almost the entirety of his four years of life have involved legal battles with an uncompromising other parent. No matter the cost, no matter the reason, the litigation never pauses.
After the initial one year-long custody battle in family court where Jessica spent $25,000 and joint custody was established, Cooper’s other parent almost immediately elected to dispute the decision. Because my sister was the breadwinner of the prior marriage, she pays child support despite the joint-custody status. Her ex uses this child support money to continue to fund legal battles and has financed a handful of lawyers in an attempt to drain my sister of all financial resources. This led to Jessica financing another $20,000 in legal fees for the judge to dismiss her ex’s attempt to overturn the prior agreement. And yet her ex again filed a motion to change custody status, at which point Jessica’s prior attorney told her she could not endure another custody battle with “one of the most unreasonable parties she has ever opposed.”
This forced my sister to represent herself in Supreme court because she could not afford to retain another attorney. Fortunately the judge again ruled in Jessica’s favor, to keep the custody as originally agreed upon. This was answered by her ex filing an appeal to ask the Appellate Court to overturn the custody order. This leads us to the present day, where my sister is currently spending hours upon hours trying to keep up with legal jargon to continue to represent herself.
Despite the current custody status, Cooper’s other parent continues to violate court orders, at one point refusing to return him to Jessica “until the pandemic ended”, making decisions about Cooper’s health and education by enrolling him in schools and canceling doctors appointments without Jessica’s consent, and worst of all poisoning this innocent child’s mind, coaching Cooper to call her by her first name- and that he should never refer to her as “Mama.”
It has become clear that despite her best efforts to co-parent, to be reasonable with the unreasonable, to try to maintain normalcy for her four year old, that joint custody is no longer an option. My sister’s ex has petitioned for Jessica’s rights to Cooper as his adoptive parent to be terminated. They are about to begin yet another legal battle which my sister cannot afford.
This is where we are asking for your help. My sister has successfully self-navigated the Supreme Court and Appellate Court to fight her ex’s attempts to appeal the initial custody agreement. But this is now a battle for sole physical custody. Incorrectly filing documents or using the wrong punctuation could cost her the ultimate price- custody of her child. She needs to have adequate representation to properly fight a battle that she doesn’t deserve to be in. She has used her last finances to pay the initial retainer on new representation. She has maximized her credit limits. She has taken out all possible loans. She has deferred her student loan payments and her mortgage. She has borrowed money from family. She has considered selling her home if that means not having to represent herself again, but is fearful to give up the source of stability for her two children.
My sister has tried to be kind, to be forgiving, to turn the other cheek to someone she once loved, because that was in the best interest of her child. She now needs my help—needs your help—needs a village—so that she can continue to be his parent. There are some fights in life we choose, and some that are forced upon us. And while this seemingly endless fight has nearly broken her, I hope that together we can help her to rise, and finally give Cooper the stability he deserves.
Thank you so very much in advance for any contribution, especially during such a financially challenging time for many. If you cannot contribute, I’m sure my sister would appreciate your prayers. Your kindness is seen and truly appreciated.
Organizer and beneficiary
Jessica Allen
Organizer
Foothill Farms, CA
Jessica A
Beneficiary