October 31st, 2018 was the last time my children and I would see their dad. He took our son trick or treating, and rested a bit before heading to work. In the early hours of November 1st, Jeff had a massive heart attack that claimed the life of the father to our 3 children. He was at work, alone, when it happened. Jeff was only 45 years old. He had plans for the next day. His mom still awaits his routine calls and texts. Our dog sniffs around the house in search of him. Our children have to reimagine their futures without him. My heart is completely broken for them. They are strong, but for them I have been weak. Jeff was the sole provider, taking care of rent and utilities. Between the two of us, we barely made enough to afford groceries. And now I am unexpectedly burdened with all of the financial responsibilities. None of us have been able to properly grieve over his loss with the worry of how we will survive without him. My children worry that we will be homeless. Rent and utilities alone is more than I make in a single month. The holidays are coming up, and with them, all of my children’s birthdays. If you know me, you know how hard it is for me to ask for help. How hard it is for me to admit that I am anything but ok. But I can’t do this on my own. He had no life insurance. No savings. My mom was always there to help carry us through when it was needed, but I lost her in August. I’m behind on my car payment. Bills are past due. There’s not much here to feed my kids. I’ve had to take more time off of work to cope and take care of things. I’m doing everything that I can to make sure my kids will be taken care of financially, but it is a process, and until then, we need some support. My family has endured so much loss this year, but this time it has entered our home. I still can’t wrap my head around it. It’s unfair that my kids will have to continue to live out their lives without their father. They’re all I can worry about right now. So please, if you are able, no amount is too small or unappreciated. Every share helps as well. I just need to make sure that my kids will be ok so that they can worry less about what will happen to us now, and finally be able to begin the process of grieving.