A few months into the relationship I learned he has had a vasectomy. At that time Eric didn't want anymore children and I did. I currently have no children of my own and have always wanted to be a mother. I was devistated to learn such news from someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. There has been moments early on in the relationship I said ok. I love this man with all my heart and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.
Being a bonus mom is very rewarding but it also has many great challanges. If I was to stay a bonus mom only, I will never get to experience the true bond of going to the doctors to hear the baby's heartbeat, get to see a picture of my baby from an ultra sound. I wont be able to experience the baby kicking inside of me, and I wont ever be able to experiance giving birth. Being a bonus mom there are always boundaries that I have to try to not cross with the biological mom and how she wishes to raise them. Dispite how much I love the kids, the best way to explain it to someone who is not a bonus mom, is I am almost like a very close aunt. There is of course many advantages of being a bonus mom, but as other mothers will say, there is nothing like having one of your own. I will never experience or have a true mother child relationship until I have my own.
After four years into our relationship Eric changed his mind about wanting more children. I could not have been happier to hear this. At this time I was still in college and working to make it through. I graduated a year and a half ago and I have been to over 100 doctors offices and have even left my county to find a steady job. I currently am only subbing as a hygienist and doing catering on the side. Eric sells cars at a local car dealership.
I have started this fund because after 10 years of having a visectomy there is only a 30% chance a reversal will work. We haven't reached that time frame yet, but I am affraid if we wait until I get a steady job to do this, our window will be closed. We have some money saved but not enough. We most likely will elope for our wedding, so we can use the money that would have been for the wedding towards our "baby fund".
I know we could adopt, but that will cost a lot more money to go that route and the same with IVF. IVF isn't even an option for us because of our religous beliefs. The next step would be to adopt. However we would like to have our own child and a reversal isn't as much finacially as adoption would be.
Eric talks about me being pregnant often. What I will look like pregnant, what he wants to do during the birth and how we are going to raise our child. Eric even talks about what our baby will look like. We even picked out the same name for a girl without prior discussing it. We are excited to grow our family but we are becoming scared time is starting to run out. Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story and giving. It truly means the world to us, any little bit helps. God bless you!
Many thanks from our heart,
Eric and Jessica
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