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Love Conquers All - A Story of Immigration & Hope

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Hello to my beloved family and friends,

The topic of immigration literally seemed foreign to me most of my life and was one that I never expected to personally experience. However, Life seems to have an interesting way of surprising us. This quote has never rung more true: “Life is always full of surprises. You never know who you are going to meet that will change your life forever.” —Author Unknown

As most of you may know, our family endured a huge shock on the 1st June 2017 in Hawai'i where we lived at the time: we received a knock on our front door that would forever change our lives.

On January 25, 2017, President Trump signed an executive order, “Border Security and Immigration Enforcement Improvements,” which, among other things, directed the Department of Homeland Security to dramatically expand the use of “expedited removal,” a process that permits immigration officers to quickly deport certain noncitizens without seeing an immigration judge, often in as little as 24 hours.

We knew that my husband, Graham, was vulnerable due to his noncitizen status so we had started some preliminary planning, including securing an immigration attorney shortly after Trump’s election to help us get Graham into compliance; however, other forces were at work behind the scenes which lit a fast-moving fuse that led to the unwelcome visitors that first day of June.

On the other side of our door were two men from the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agency who were there to escort Graham to Honolulu for questioning regarding his unauthorized status in the US.

The following days, weeks, months, and years were painful and tumultuous for us all as we navigated this major fracturing of our blended family and our lives. I cannot begin to describe the life-altering effects this had on all of us, especially our children.





(Graham's story starts at 4:21)

With that said, there were also so many unforeseen blessings—such as Graham's reunion with his family, especially his mother as she was able to spend the last six years of her life with him by her side, and Graham's access to the National Health Service (NHS), which allowed him to get the treatments he needed for Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL), which he was diagnosed with in 2016.

My goal for myself was to try to get stable footing again as quickly as possible after the deportation so I could be as much of a support to our children during this challenging time. That was much easier said than done as there were so many hurdles along the way, including custody court battles and co-parenting struggles but we persevered with hope, positivity, and resilience.

Besides the mental and emotional strain, the financial burden on us has been immense. Due to the sudden timing of his deportation, we didn't have reserves to draw on and the expenses of me and our children straddling two countries has been very challenging. Bureaucracy within the ecovillage where we lived in Hawai'i has prevented us from being able to sell or rent our home there to this day and we also couldn't foresee the financial strain that the pandemic years would bring as work dried up for both of us for far too long.

As Graham cannot live or even visit the US for 10 years since his deportation departure (July 2017-July2027), and he needs to be in the UK to continue receiving the healthcare services he needs, we've planted ourselves here and I started an immigration process when I arrived to live in the UK on a spouse visa in June 2018.

That visa expired in early 2021, which necessitated another huge application and more money, and the second visa was replaced this year with what is called an "Indefinite Leave to Remain"; the British equivalent of a US green card. Yet again, another application and more funding.

The final step in my immigration process is to naturalise as a UK citizen, which secures my ability to move between the two countries without restrictions so I can be fully available to our family, wherever and whenever that may be.

This brings me to the current moment and the point of this appeal.

The costs for this immigration pathway for just me...not even our children yet...have totalled nearly £10,000 in the past five years. However, that doesn't include the thousands of pounds, and dollars, that we have spent on airfare flying our family members to and fro between countries and the other accommodation expenses I incurred when travelling back to Hawai’i for extended stays to spend cherished time with our beloved family and friends.

But rather than focusing on what we’ve lost and what that’s cost, we focus on what is priceless: time spent together as a family and creating happy memories. Our hearts are filled with love and gratitude for our lives and all the joys and challenges we’ve faced because we’ve learned so many precious life lessons…together.

We realize that our challenges are "first world" problems and our journey, while it has been traumatizing to us, is a much gentler one that so many immigrants face around the world. We'd like to give voice to this process and advocate for those whose voices often go unheard.

After hearing that the UK Home Office was planning to increase immigration fees by up to 35% on 4 October 2023 (https://www.jcwi.org.uk/home-office-increases-visa-fees-in-a-cost-of-living-crisis), I took a massive leap of faith and used my paycheck yesterday to pay the current fees before they spike and get my application for UK citizenship submitted, which, as I mentioned, is the last step in this five-year immigration journey. I now await the UKVI’s decision, which can take up to six months.

On one hand, I feel relieved to get it submitted and, on the other hand, I feel anxious about the wait and, of course, about the financial impact that this has on our family. I’m super grateful to have a fabulous full-time job, as well as working part-time in my own private coaching practice, so I’m working hard to recoup these expenses. However, we have been quite stretched thin by this process, especially since I just paid nearly £2,500 for my Indefinite Leave to Remain application only two months ago.

I’ve planned a special talk about the Blue Zones next weekend here in England as a fundraiser and I am open to other fundraising opportunities such as additional in-person presentations and/or online webinars for those who live further away. Please let me know if you are interested in learning more or can think of a group or organization who might benefit from this.

In terms of this Go Fund Me appeal, I’m hoping to raise at least the £1,500 ($1,700) that I just spent on Friday for my citizenship application. Any additional funds raised will go towards travel expenses for the twins to spend their two-week Christmas holiday break together with us as Graham can’t travel back to Hawai’i to see them or the rest of our family.

Thank you so much for your support; not just financially, but your on-going support that nourishes us mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually!

In peace, love, and joy,
Dena


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Donations 

  • ALEX FELDMAN
    • $100
    • 1 yr
  • Dominic Manning
    • $500
    • 1 yr
  • Anonymous
    • $100
    • 1 yr
  • Jenna Way
    • $100
    • 1 yr
  • Allen Carolyn
    • $100
    • 1 yr
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Organizer

Dena Smith
Organizer
Waimea/Kamuela CDP, HI

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