My Sons Future Matters
As many of you may or may not know, I've been fighting a divorce/custody battle over the past two years. Truthfully I'm not contesting the divorce one bit, but I am fighting to get to be a part of my son's life. Cody, who is now 6, has been separated from me for 4 long years now.  I can not express in words just how much this has killed me inside. Despite my never once having been a bad parent to any child and despite the fact that I've paid child support from the day my soon to be ex wife and i split up she has never allowed him to come to Oregon where i live. I have jumped through every single hoop she has ever put before me yet every time that it came time for Cody to come here she would come up with another and then another and then another excuse or hoop. Finally, after I couldnt bear it any longer, I told her that if she didn't allow my son to come visit that I would no longer send her any support (at the time I was sending her $600 a month on my own, without any court order to do so). She immediately and without informing me went and hired a lawyer, (I say "hire" but what really happened was that her lawyer took her case without a retainer with the expectation that I would pay her bill. There isn't a lawyer that i was able to locate that was willing to even touch my case without a retainer), filed for child support and a divorce. I was served divorce papers on December 26th, 2018; the day after Christmas. I had 21 days with which to respond. I immediately began calling lawyer after lawyer after lawyer; having to explain to each and every one of them my story. I interviewed so many lawyers that I grew tired of telling my story. But still, I pressed on, not wanting to make the mistake of hiring the wrong lawyer because I believed that I was only going to get one shot at this and besides my daughter, there's nothing on this planet that means more to me than my son. Absolutely nothing! The days kept passing and the deadline was drawing near. If I had failed to respond I would have forfeited everything. The cheapest lawyer that I could find wanted $6000 cash as a retainer and wouldn't so much as answer any additional questions that I had until I sent the money. I didnt have the money, nor any friends or family that could or would help. I was on my own. I had an amazing coin collection that I had been building up for my son so that by the time he graduated high school he would have enough money to go to college or whatever he wanted to do. This was super important to me as I never had a parent like this growing up. I have always wanted the absolute best for my son. Every payday I would go out and find one coin that I could add to the collection. I loved collecting. The hunt, the haggling, the adventure. I loved it. I spent a great deal of my free time studying coins and building up this collection. It was the only thing I had that I knew would probably sell fast enough and give me enough money to afford the lawyer. I was right. I posted the collection to a couple of different sites and within two days it sold for $7500. The collection had been worth $28,000.  I had tried a GoFundMe page thinking that there would be those out there that had gone through a similar situation as I was and would be empathetic to my plight. I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. Not a single person other than my girlfriend and my bestfriend donated a single dollar. I had had trouble getting people to even share my link! It was very disheartening to say the least. I paid the lawyer and for a short while I felt relieved believing that everything was going to be ok. But it wasn't long before I started seeing signs that all wasn't going to be peachy. My lawyer was doing the bare minimum, while my wife's lawyer- who hadn't even gotten paid yet- was walking all over me. I would bring things up to my lawyer and she would either not answer or shoot down my points with her fast talking slight of hand bologna. I felt right away that I had done exactly what I tried so hard not to do and that was hire the wrong lawyer. I would vent my frustrations to my girlfriend, co workers and my best friend, but they all told me that I was acting on emotion and not thinking clearly. I tried seeing it from their perspective because I wanted to believe that my lawyer was doing all that she could but more and more I saw her do things that were not in my best interest nor the interest of my child. But still, being stuck between a rock and a hard place I allowed my lawyer to continue on the case. I didnt have a choice; there was no way I was going to be able to afford to hire another attorney, and especially after the "special" trip my wife and her lawyer ordered and which of course my lawyer did not object. Two weeks before my son's graduation from preschool, and approximately 2 months before the official summer vacation started, we were in mediation and I had requested the upcoming summer to have Cody. My wife insisted that in order for her to even consider it that I had to fly down to florida, attend the preschool graduation, and spend a week with my son. She refused to sign a contract that stated I would be allowed to have Cody after jumping through this hoop but insisted that I sign a contract stating that everyday I would have Cody back by 6 and that all my plans had to go through her, etc, etc.. Naturally my lawyer did nothing in my defense but we flew down anyway despite not being able to afford it. In order to fund the trip I had sold all of my tools and most of all my other possessions. The trip ended up costing us $6000.  While in florida we had a great time with my son, taking him to the zoo, Busch Gardens, swimming, shopping and just hanging out.  After a week we said our goodbyes and headed back to oregon. As I had feared, when the time came for her to let my son come to oregon she refused. Fast forward 6 months and not being to reach an agreement, I told my lawyer that enough time had passed and that i wanted to set a trial date. My lawyer responded that i would need an additional $3500 retainer and that i had less than 24 hours to pay it. Of course i could not come up with that money that quick. My lawyer filed a motion to withdraw the very next day. He wouldnt let me make payments or work with me in any way. As soon as my wife learned that my lawyer had quit she took all talks off the table and a trial date was set. I could not afford to hire a new lawyer and felt nervous as our April trial date quickly approached. Enter COVID 19, which pushed our trial date to October 1st. About two weeks ago, I tried calling to speak to my son and was not able to get ahold of anyone, which is unusual. After nearly an entire day I contacted the police department in florida and asked them to go by and do a welfare check on my son. Not long after I received a text from Jennifer's eldest daughter stating that Jennifer was in the hospital for high blood pressure. My gut told me something wasnt right so my girlfriend of 2 years and I jumped on a plane and flew down to Florida and found out that what really had happened was that jennifer had overdosed on crack cocaine and spice and needed to be brought back to life, and was placed in a medical rehab where they feared she was schizophrenic. I immediately filed for an emergency order asking the courts to allow me to bring my son home to Oregon with me. Once I was granted this motion we spent our last day driving Cody all over to say goodbye to all of his relatives- even though these were the same folks that had been lying to me and covering up for jennifer.  Now we are home in Oregon where I have been granted "time sharing" until our trial date in October. Since bringing Cody home I have gotten him off of SSI, which, when I called jennifer in rehab and confronted her about this she said, "Why would I tell you?" To which I replied, "Because I'm his father!" I have been cherishing every moment because I know that in October this could all get reversed and I may end up losing him again.  This is why I now need your help. I need to hire another lawyer in order to fight go get custody of my son so that he will be safe and secure. Cody was significantly underweight when we got him and we are diligently working to rectify this  Please, if you can help by donating or sharing this it would be greatly appreciated. All I want is what's best for my son. To give him every advantage that I can to succeed in life. To raise him with values, morals and good character. Thank you in advance to all those that share and donate. Sincerely, Raymond & Elizabeth