I'VF Got This Ian and Amber

Ian and Ambers parents and family are trying to help raise money for their next round of ivf, blood work ultrasounds and other medical bills. Any little bit will help, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Prayers are greatly apprecitated. Now here is their journey over the last year. 2019 where do I start.. it was hands down the hardest year of my life. Just a little back story on everything I'm going to talk about from 2019. Almost 8 years ago I said I Do to my bestfriend and we knew we wanted a family right away. We tried for a year with no luck and after the first year we went to my doctors and had test done and were told "you're younge it will happen." Tried with some medicine on and off for a few years till I couldn't take it anymore, all I wanted was to be a mom and make Ian the best dad in the world. Just watching him with my nieces and nephew and kids in my family I knew this is something he'd be amazing at, and I could just picture him with our kids. We were referred to a RE where we did 4 rounds of medicated IUI's with no luck. Were told ivf is the next step, so we took 2 years to save money to try becuase we both wanted this. In those 2 years I struggled with depression, I went to work came home and nothing. I put a lot on my husband but he just was there for it all. Every break down, every sleepless night, dinners, cleaning, getting out of bed, wiping away my tears, he was always there helping me get stronger. December of 2018 we had our first appointment with our new RE doctor and the start of ivf 2019.. January Ian and started our IVF journey, we had received our calendar for what the next 2 months would look like with shots, blood work, ultrasounds and even surgery. It was very busy while working full time but I was so excited for what I knew was going to change our lives forever. On the 8th I had a saline ultrasound that showed I had polyps on my uterus and was told I need the surgery to remove before we started the actually cycle. The 16th I had the surgery to remove the polyps, after waking up from surgery I was so nauseous, I threw up the whole 45 min drive home and then for the next 3 hours after. Ian stayed with me and made sure I was okay. The 21st was D day, had my blood drawn, ultrasound and first day of shots. Ian gave me all my shots! He's pretty amazing. I continued 2 shots a day till the 26th and 27th when I had to have 3 shots those days. 28th my blood and ultrasound looked great and went back to 2 shots till the 31st. The 30th was a big day for us, blood work and ultrasound to see if I created enough mature eggs to retrieve, and I did! We were so shocked how smooth everything was going. February The 1st, retrieval day!! I remember being so nervouse I wouldnt have enough or good eggs, I was scared of getting sick after this surgery, Ian just kept me calm the whole time. The retrieval went great we had 24 eggs. The next 5 days were crucial to see how many would survive. Of the 24 eggs 22 were mature of those 20 of them fertilized and 11 were frozen. I also had to start the worst part of IVF in my opinion progesterone in oil shot. The 6th was transfer day!!! We transferred 2 embryos. Continued the shots and medicine for the next week and a half till we found out on the 18th. The 18th came and Ian and I worked half days to be together to hear the results of my blood work. We got the call and I was pregnant!! My levels looked great and now we had to continue my meds and come back the 20th for more blood work to make sure my levels were doubling. I never thought I'd ever hear the words your pregnant. I cried and thanked the nurse repeatedly, in which she replied it was all you. We were so excited, so happy but that came to an end on the 23rd when I started spotting, I called the office and was told its completely normal. I tried to stay hopefully prayed all the time for God to protect my baby and my heart I was so worried of losing my baby. Told my baby everyday how loved it was and how long I've waited to have them. The 27th (still bleeding) levels were still rising which was good but something seemed off so went to ER on the 28th. It was the worst experience of my life. Had blood taken and an ultrasound the results came back inconclusive because they were not sure what they seen, either I lost the baby or it was etopic becuase they think they seen something in my right tube. They had scheduled another ultrasound. When they took me for that one they placed me in the hallway where other pregnant women were have their baby's heart beats checked. Just knowing I'm sitting here possibly losing my baby and having to hear the heartbeats of 5 women was incredible hard. The dr that preformed my 2nd ultrasound came in and said I see nothing, no there is nothing there and left. We were then put back into that hallway where I heard a women on the phone saying she cant wait to get rid of this baby and live her life again and the baby's father can have it. Now I lost it. I've just lost something I've prayed about and spent 7 years trying to have and there are people who take it for granted. Ian told a nurse he was taking back down to ER himself that he wont have me sitting here listening to this and all the nurse said was "yeah I'm sure its hard" and just moved us further down the hall. I couldn't believe someone could be so heartless. We were discharged while being told we see nothing in uterus and both ultrasounds were different so they were not sure what happened. I had put my two weeks in at work but after all this I just quit, mainly becuase they didnt follow my doctors note restrictions. March The 1st I went to my dr and right away he gave me an ultrasound and he seen the etopic. He gave me a shot to help end the pregnancy so I wouldnt have to have surgery. The 4th more blood and ultrasound, levels and sac were not where they should so I had to have a 2nd shot. The 8th again blood and ultrasound, same thing so I was given the option to go in for surgery or do a 3rd and finally shot. I cried and called Ian to figure out what to do. I probably spent 20 minutes in the room with my mom making the decision to do the 3rd shot. It definitely felt like eternity. I was told if at any time over the weekend I felt strong pains to go to ER. The 10th i had a sharp pain the lasted for 2 seconds and thought this isn't what they were talking about so Ian and I got ready to go to dinner but the more I thought about it I didnt want nothing bad to happen. We went to ER more blood and ultrasound. They then told me I had to be transferred to Oakwood where my primary doctor was. First ambulance ride. Got there and more blood and ultrasound, as I came out of ultrasound they told me I was going into surgery. I was super confused becuase they didnt even look over my ultrasound. 1 hour later and I was heading to surgery. They had to remove my right fallopian tube becuase it was splitting from the pregnancy and I was bleeding. Went home trying to keep it together. Telling my self God had a plan for me and this baby he needed more. The rest of the month I had blood work checkups till my hcg levels were down to 0. April and May I was strong, stronger than I expected. I still spent all my time mourning the loss of my baby. Ian and I picked a name, Blake. It helped me to better cope. June We were ready for IVF round 2 but a week before my second surgery I truly lost it.. I was in a dark place and didnt think I should do something so strenuous on my mind and body while feeling this way and called it off. July Spent most my time trying to work on myself and remind myself that I've gotten this far and to keep going. August I was ready for round 2. The 26th I had my surgery to remove the polyps again. September The 9th blood and ultrasound to make sure everything was good to start round 2. Less shots this time around. 17th and 20th more blood and ultrasound and started the PIO(shot from hell). 25th transfer day! We transferred 2 embryos. Continued the medicine. Super nervouse but just had a feeling this was it. October The 1st is my birthday so that week Ian and I stayed busy till we would find out on the 7th. 7th we got the call a little after 12 and again Pregnant!! This time they said your numbers are low, we like them over 100 and yours are below but come back in 2 days and we will see. I fell to my knees, I couldn't lose this baby too. I cried so bad, Ian had to yell at me to breath he told me I'm pregnant and I got this, it's not good for me or the baby and just held me on the ground and we talk to God and our baby telling it to hold on and keep growing, and how much we love it already. The 9th levels went up over double but still low they said so again 2 days for more blood. 11th again they more than doubled but still was told they are low. Kept praying kept telling my baby to hold on. 16th more blood again went up but still told low. 18th ultrasound, we seen our little bean measuring a little less than a week behind what they though it should, dr said he seen the flicker of the heart but to early to hear it and that we can come back in a week and hear it. I still remember the biggest sigh of relief ian let off when he said there it is. Even the dr and nurse looked at him. But my heart just knew how excited and safe he felt for me and him after all this time we finally got to see our little bean. The 21st I started bleeding ian came home from work early. My mom came over and held me while I lost my shit, I still to this day dont know how she stayed strong for me because I had completely lost it. The bleeding stopped so ian and I thought okay maybe were over reacting. Ian left to get food and nope.. I'll keep it clean but what I seen it the toilet I knew I lost this baby. Went to ER at 8pm blood, ultrasound, and pelvic exam. Pelvic exam showed cervix was closed which we were told was a good sign. Ultrasound showed a blood clot and the sac but becuase of the clot they couldn't see into the sac to see if baby was there. Was sent home being told it's a threatened miscarriage. 22nd went to my doctors and he told us the same thing and we will only tell by blood work. Later that day we got the call our numbers had dropped. We lost this baby also. I was lost I didnt know why this was happening. I had to keep going in for blood work till me levels went down to 0. 30th levels were dropping. November The 6th my levels went up so I went in with my mom and they seen part of the placenta still in there, was told to take 4 pills vaginally and to come back in a week and hopefully it will take care of itself with the pills. 13th my levels didnt drop enough so they said I needed surgery to remove what's left. 18th blood still not low enough so surgery was still on. At this point I just want all this to end so I can mourn the loss of my baby. 22nd surgery day. Doctor came in after and said it went fine and it was just a small little part he removed. Finally I could heal and process everything we just went through. We talked and picked a name for this baby to help us both cope again. We decided on another B name, Bailey. With both losses I needed something to take my mind off all this and to get me out of bed. The 23rd Ian got me a puppy something that I needed to take care of. Boomer has helped me so much. December The 2nd my levels were finally down to 0 and we scheduled our follow up with my doctor. At this point I was done. Done trying, done with ivf, done with hope's of being a mom and ian a dad. I just didnt want any thing else but for Ian and I to just live a life for each other. But that changed on the 8th when Erica, Laila and I went and seen my sister Katie and my nephew Aaron. I literally left and called Ian and said were not done trying, I cant give up I am suppose to be a mom. 13th proved to me I can't stop. We had a meeting with my doctor and he basically told us we had a hell of a year and till we get pregnant he's taking his pay from the process we just have to pay basically half. How can someone who's only known me a year want this for me just as much as me to take his own pay away. Now to wait till we have the money again to try. Michigan sucks and nothing for ivf is covered so it's all out of pocket. So till we can try again I just will work on myself. Pray that God works miracles in our life's and helps heal our hearts and thank him for the blessings we've already received. Ian is an amazing man, the way he's been by my side through all this is crazy to me. I love him and both our angel babies Blake and Bailey. So goodbye 2019, I will not miss you. I wont miss the tears I cried, the weight I gained, the shots I took, the sleepless nights, trips to the ER, the blood draws, the ultrasounds, I just wont miss you. I'll only miss the short times I got to hold my babies, the talkes I had with them, the belly rubs from Ian the kisses and talks he had with them. Let's just pray 2020 is better to us. Ps I'm not posting this for sympathy, I just want to share my story so the next person isn't afraid to.