Hi there, my name is Rebekah Parker and I wear many hats; wife, daughter, sister, aunt, mother, bonus mom, angel mom, and now, heart mom. 

We are a blended family of 7 with our final blessing on the way. Our kids are 17, 13, 8, almost 6, and 3 years old. I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with a very special little girl. Like most families, we have multiple hectic schedules and it takes a lot of planning and budgeting to keep our household running (somewhat) smoothly. 



For those who don't know us personally, my husband Devin is a welder and electrician by trade.  He works for a local electric company and I work as a title abstractor for a law firm. We live in Knoxville, TN though I work in Oak Ridge and Devin can be found on jobs anywhere within a 150 mile radius of town, sometimes as far away as Chattanooga and N. Georgia. 

After suffering 2 miscarriages in 2 years' time, we thought maybe our family was meant to be complete as-is. But we were completely floored when we found out we were pregnant in early December. 


While very excited, we knew that we were not exempt from the chance of another miscarriage. I was put on oral progesterone supplements from the day I found out I was pregnant until almost 14 weeks. Each passing day that the pregnancy progressed felt like a tiny miracle.


Even after we hit the 12 week mark of pregnancy, when most people feel comfortable sharing their good news with family and friends, something inside of me was hesitant. I'm not sure if I was still gun-shy from our previous losses or if I just couldn't believe that this was actually happening this time. Things were relatively smooth until I started having flank pain on my right side around 14-15 weeks. 

At 19 weeks I ended up in the ER in excruciating pain. I had developed hydronephrosis of my right kidney and was admitted to the hospital for 3 days to undergo a procedure to place a percutaneous nephrostomy tube. I had no idea that this was just the beginning of our high risk pregnancy.

The next week at our scheduled anatomy scan ultrasound, we were dealt the harsh blow that something was very wrong with our baby's heart. While the high risk group we had transferred to is extremely experienced, they weren't quite sure what we were dealing with. The baby's heart was taking up a very large part of her chest and we were referred to a local pediatric cardiologist for a diagnosis. In the meantime, we ended up opting to do an amniocentesis that same day and also provided multiple vials of blood for genetic testing. Our hope was to have as much information for the doctors as possible to help figure out what was wrong with our baby.

Over the next two weeks, the test results trickling in all came back normal genetically. We also met with the cardiologist who performed a very thorough echocardiogram and gave a strong opinion of what she thought our baby was suffering from, which ended up being Ebstein's Anomoly of the Tricuspid Valve.



This was not anything we could have ever expected and honestly, we had a lot to learn. Because of the complications and treatment involved with an Ebstein's diagnosis, we were referred to the Fetal Heart Center at Vanderbilt in Nashville.

Our first visit to Vanderbilt was both overwhelming and reassuring. Overwhelming because of the sheer volume of information we were presented with, yet reassuring because of the expertise and professionalism behind every provider we met with. At that appointment, the Ebstein's diagnosis was confirmed, we were presented with different scenarios that could take place and we were given a few ideas of what we could expect to try to correct it. 

We left Nashville that day with more questions than answers though, simply because until the baby is born, no one can predict what is going to happen. We had been given an idea of different directions that our baby's health could go, ranging from not making it to term/fetal demise to being born in distress and needing immediate intervention, to being born stable and being able to wait a few days before deciding on the best intervention option. Our choices range from stent placement to surgery. It was quite a lot to process and it still is.


Since that first appointment at Vanderbilt, we have been back and are scheduled to go again at the end of this month. Each time we receive a little more of an idea of what to expect but the overall theme is 'wait and see'. They won't have definitive answers about her future until she arrives. It was decided at the diagnosis of Ebstein's that the baby would need to be born at Vanderbilt, so the day of our appointments at the end of this month will also be the day that I move (temporarily) to Nashville. I will be 37 weeks pregnant at that point and our team of doctors all agree that I need to be in the area from that day on in case of early labor or any complications. If all goes well, they plan to induce me at 39 weeks for optimum lung development and general wellness of the baby.

This is where everything gets more complicated for our family. 

Not only will I be out of work from that day on (7/31), but Devin will be shouldering the entire load of our household financially and in general. 

We are a true team, partners in everything from finances to chores. We are also very fortunate to have two sets of amazing co-parents who share time with our 4 oldest kids, so half of that time he'll have a bit of a respite. But he will have our youngest 24/7 and will also have new routines and work limitations as he will be doing daily daycare drop-off and pickup, taking the boys to school and picking them up as well on our days, and having to manage the bills, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. on his own for the entire duration before and after the baby is born.

Because we don't know the fate of our littlest love, we don't know how long she will be in the NICU, if she will be a candidate for surgery, and if so, how quickly that will happen and then again, how long her recovery will be in Nashville. As a result, I don't know how long I will need to be in Nashville as well to stay with her.



I will be out of work indefinitely. I've been working part time since the diagnosis at 22 weeks and less than part time with each passing month. Being high risk, I am seen twice a week for a biophysical profile (BPP) and non-stress test (NST) to monitor the baby, checking for arrhythmias, fluid around the heart, hydrops, blood flow, and growth. I also still see the pediatric cardiologist here in Knoxville as well as my urologist for the nephrostomy tube. With all of these appointments, I miss a lot of work. I'm grateful for the flexibility my job offers, but needless to say I blew through my paid sick and personal time months ago. Additionally, my nephrostomy supplies aren't covered by insurance and the supplies for daily flushing & dressing changes have been an unexpected financial burden.



Devin will be unable to work full days and will be unable to travel for work like he usually does as well as work any overtime. We anticipate his employer being flexible and understanding, but won't know for sure until the time comes.

I have put off asking for financial help simply because I hate to do it. I wouldn't say that we're proud, we're more along the lines of stubborn. We make it work, sometimes by the grace of God, but it still works out. 

Over the past few weeks, it's not been working out though and I can only anticipate it getting worse. Now is the time that we need a village to help support us...and we need it quickly. We need your support to help cover my total loss of income and Devin's partial loss that will come with his reduced availability as his responsibilities at home increase.

Our biggest initial concerns are:

Rent
Child support/other non-negotiable financial monthly obligations
KUB (water/electric)
Daycare
Groceries
Fuel 
Medical supplies

Concerns that may be on the horizon:

Housing in Nashville (hoping for a spot in the Ronald McDonald house)
Travel expenses back and forth
Memorial costs
Funeral costs
End of life costs
Extended loss of income due to either recovery or bereavement

We are not anticipating having to make end of life arrangements because for one, I just refuse to accept that it's a possibility, but secondly, because we are so hopeful and have been receiving encouraging signs in spite of our baby's severe heart defect. However, these are all things we may have to plan for and things we simply can't afford so I wanted to include them for  the sake of transparency.


It would mean so very much for us to have any help that you could offer. I know that it would help me being far away from my husband and our kids, to know that my absence isn't as much of a burden because the bills can still be paid and my husband won't have the extra financial stress squarely on his shoulders. He isn't one to complain, and I can't speak for him, but I imagine it would help him have peace of mind knowing that he can do what he needs to do as a parent without stressing about missing work and the money that accompanies losing  those hours. He'll have enough on his plate with kids who are missing their mom as well worrying about me while trying to work and do everything else.

Any amount you can give to help us through this difficult transition into the unknown would be extremely appreciated. We have been humbled during this journey in many ways and this is just another aspect. We are so grateful for the love and prayers we've been receiving so far, the prayers especially are helping carry us through on the hardest days. Now we just need help getting carried financially as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to learn about our family and what we've been going through the past few months. We appreciate anything you may be able to give and will be updating as we continue this journey.