Daisy's Bald Bonce

On 30th May this year, I am going to shave my head and I ask you to sponsor me, here’s why:


My dad died, in the half term, on 30th May 1995, when I was at primary school. It was a few days before my 10th birthday, and even though I knew he was ‘very ill’ and in a specialist heart and lung hospital in London, I really wasn’t prepared for him to disappear the way he did.

Me and my brother were in a train with my Granny Sue, on the way up to see him, we were two hours away. I remember being so excited. I was excited that he would have no hair, look funny, and would be surrounded by noisy hospital apparatus. I hoped he would have a colostomy bag, like my brother said he would, and that we could all laugh at seeing his pee. I was looking forward to meeting all the other people in his ward and totally most of all having his giant, dry, builders hands hold me and stroke my face.

We were two hours away.


I remember the razor sharp feeling when mum told us. I remember my hollow body. I remember seeing his hollow body, totally unrecognisable, and the way my brother couldn’t look at him.


This was the event in my life that made me. Besides the fact that I miss him so much. Besides the fact that I will never know him and he will never know me for the person i am, if it hadn’t happened I would not have matured the way I did. I would not have appreciated the little things in life the way I do, and I would not be me. I wish I could have a beer with him. I wish I could show him the skills I have and the things I love, but I can’t, and that's ok. I have my own version of him in my subconscious, it guides me, in a weird way, and I try to make him proud as much as possible. Grief isn’t a thing you get over, its a new way of living and understanding, and can be a positive thing, given time.


I never got any help from anyone professional when it happened. My strong mother tried to put our lives back to normal. I had a birthday cake on my birthday. Me and my brother went back to school on the Monday. I sat on the steps of the elliots with my best friend and when she asked me how my holiday had been i told her that my dad had died. I remember not wanting to make her sad.

We were offered help from Penhaligons Friends, a charity in Redruth who help early bereaved children and their families, but they didn’t have the funding to come down to St Just to see us, and we just didn’t have the energy to get up to see them.

A know a bereavement at any age is hard, but I think for a child it is incredibly confusing. I literally felt like no one understood, no grown up, not even my mother. I had changed, but no one else had. My friends only saw importance in toys, play and TV shows. I felt horribly awake to real life, and I felt terribly alone.

Penhaligons Friends are still going. They are bigger now. They can visit families and help other little, hurt, confused guys, like me and my brother. The work they do is so incredibly important and I want to help them so that they can carry on visiting these families.


Here is where I need your help: On 30th May this year, I am going to shave my head. I have been growing my hair for over 2 years and it is long enough now to be made into wigs for children who have lost their hair due to cancer treatment (a separate charity). All the money I raise will go to Penhaligons Friends so please be as generous as you can afford to be. Anything you can give will help. It will be my birthday a couple of days later, on the 2nd of June, so if you would normally buy me a pint for my birthday in the pub, please put the money in the kitty instead.

I will have no hair, and I will look funny, but I don’t care, cause there are more important things in life.

Let’s raise a load for the little guys together. Let’s raise a load for us little guys.