At the age of 17 i was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa after a 3-4 year long battle with food and control, as eating disorder services are stretched so thinly in the UK i was put on a waiting list of about 12 months before i could receive any treatment this was during to my weight not being critically low. Over those 12 months i continued to deteriorate slowly receiving no support and keeping this illness hidden away from all of my friends and family.
When the time came where i was offered treatment, i was so consumed by the illness i didn’t want help as i didn’t want lose any control of what i had so i turned it down.
I moved to a new job and had a change in routine and this helped, i was gaining weight, i was spending more time with my family, went on holiday to Tenerife with my best friend, things were looking up!
At the beginning of 2023 i started playing a new sport (ice hockey) which is very physically demanding. I hadn’t changed my eating habits but due to this increase in exercise i started to lose weight. I soon noticed this and it triggered a relapse with my anorexia causing me to deteriorate very fast. Myself and my partner were both scared every night that i was going to go to sleep and not wake up the next day, my heart was really taking the brunt of this illness and i was barely surviving.
By September I was being told by medical professionals I had a week to gain some weight otherwise i would have been sectioned in hospital with a feeding tube, to be told that is petrifying.
I did what was required, ate 3 meals and 3 snacks every day, introduced a milkshake into my intake every day to give me any hope of gaining weight.
I exceeded expectations the clinic set me and i was gaining weight at a quicker rate than required. I had energy to play hockey again and perform at a better level, i had the freedom to go out to restaurants with my friends and family and not worry about what was going to happen.
September this year came around and i started a new job (which is great) and it gave me a routine, for the first couple of weeks i was doing really well! Things happened in life which i has no control over, my Gramps became very ill and my life revolved around work and going to visit him in the hospital every day and then unfortunately being with him when he passed away. Things were building up on top of each other again and i resorted back to what i know to stay in control and that is what anorexia is.
I have an amazing support system at home and at work and those 3 people help me SO much.
I am not better and i think its going to take a long time for me to get better but the important thing is that im not giving up.
20% of people with anorexia will die from it.
60% of people will fall into a recovery/relapse cycle for the rest of their lives.
20% of people will make a full recovery from anorexia nervosa.
I am determined to be part of the 20% of people who fully recover, no matter what it takes.
I want to raise money to help other people who go through the same daily battle I do.
More information about Beat (Formerly Eating Disorders Association): Beat is the UK's eating disorder charity. Our purpose is to end the pain and suffering caused by eating disorders. We do this by working directly with sufferers and their families, and by using that experience to highlight the challenges they face and campaign for change.
Our vision is a society where people with eating disorders experience care and understanding, and where they can quickly access treatment that supports a rapid and sustained recovery.