Help get Alex and his fam get their life back.

Hi. My name's Alex. I know you all know me as Cakey around the Critical RIP scene in FFXIV. Some of you know me as @Katsumaro on twitter. Akiyama on BlueGartr. I go by a few names, but that's usually the common names you'll see me as. More than any of those names, though, I'm just Alex, Margaret's son. 

 

What's going on, what's been going on for the past two+ years of my life, and even dating further back is my mom's had cancer. She's the light of my life, and has always been. She's been my best friend, my mom, my dad, she's been everything for me. She's fighting cancer, and has been. It was colon cancer before, but it's since spread all over her body and is now Stage 4. Just tonight, on 12/19/21, I had to call 911 for her because she's not doing well. It's scaring me. I'm so scared. I don't want to lose my mom, but I know that at this point it's not if, but when.. and the when may be coming sooner than I was hoping.

 

Basically.. I don't know what will come next. I just want to make things as easy and as comfortable for my mom as I can because she's the world to me. Not only that, but she's just worried about what I'll do with myself, because as it is post COVID and with me being her caretaker at home, I have no real way of supporting myself for the foreseeable future, and I am not in a position to really rush out and find work enough to support myself so she's been stressed about that, which in turn has me stressed because all I can think is the last thing my mom will have on her mind is me letting her down (even if that's not really the case for her, because I know how much she loves me) -- still.. I just.. I'm rambling. God.

 

So that's where this GFM comes into play. I asked around, and people told me that I should make this, that I should reach out, share my heart, and see if people would like to help me. Obviously no one has to feel obligated to help me, but just know as a person apart of multiple communities, it'd be greatly appreciated, and I'll forever be in all of your debts. I really didn't want to do this, but I'm at a point where I'm so lost, I don't know what to do anymore.

 

I've repeated myself a bunch, I know, but when I get to typing.. I just want to bare my heart as much as I can, I guess. So thank you for reading all of this. Thank you for everything you guys have done for me and meant to me in the community, and I love you all.

 

Alex/Cakey

 

Update as of 1/9/2022. She's back in the hospital, she has problems with her kidney and liver, potentially failing. I just got home so I can shower and wash clothes, and I'm a wreck. They said they can potentially get her on some antibiotics for an infection she has that's contributing to her confusion, but for the kidney/liver failing.. there's not a whole lot that can be done. I hate this. I hate the fact I can't do more for her. I hate that she's going through this. I can't deal with this.. I don't know what to do.. 

Update 1/10/2022 - I posted a separate update, but.. she passed overnight peacefully in her sleep. I'm beyond stunned. Heartbroken. She was talking last night, but apparently things took a turn, as they can with failing liver/kidneys, and she passed away. Nine days before her 70th birthday. I'm just crushed. I was so scared I wouldn't see my mom again and I was right. 

 

I know now I have to be strong.. so still, anything donated, anything you can do, sharing it.. anything at all, it's all greatly appreciated. Know she would have loved all of this support, and I do too. Online communities can be the best kind of support system. Thank you all so very much. I love you all.