Wendylou and Desmond Need your Help
8/30/18 ANOTHER UPDATE:
This wonderful family is still struggling. This page raised $2,500 for them several months ago, but they need our help again.
Desmond's star continues to climb, but what little income is generated through his work does not cover basic living expenses for them-- at least not yet.
Both parents remain unemployed. Desi's father continues to look for work, and as does his mom, although she is consumed more and more with managing Desi's schedule. They are in the process of trying to secure rent assistance from the City, but the red tape is overwhelming. In the mean time, their landlord has begun eviction proceedings against them for back rent.
The haters continue to target them every time a high profile piece comes out about Desmond. Recently a coordinated effort to generate multiple complaints to the Administration of Children's Services (ACS) has resulted in additional headaches. This has happened in the past, and every time one of these baseless complaints is made, ACS has to visit the family (a waste of valuable resources), and every time they have determined that there is nothing wrong with Desmond or they way he is being raised. It really wears on them as they struggle to simply allow Desmond to express himself in a way that is natural to him in the face of ongoing rage from people who do not even know them.
Please help if you can. And share this page with anyone you think may be interested in supporting them.
Desmond truly is Amazing . But so is his mom, and they still need our help.
Desmond has been invited to participate at RuPaul's DragCon in LA. they head west next week. The family is still struggling financially (dad was laid off as well, so it's actually gotten worse) so they created an Amazon wish-list for supplies to construct The Fierce One's costumes. The wish-list was bought out by one special angel, but many people are asking how they can help, so I thought I'd share this GoFund Me Again.
Here's a sampling of some of the amazing media attention Desmond has been receiving:
Any amount will help continue to support this special family.
Here is the original post from December:
Jonathan and Matthew (a.k.a. The Brothers Martin) have a very special favor to ask. Our dear friend needs help. Wendylou has been out of work for several months and is really struggling and it breaks our heart to see her going through this.
Let us back up a little and tell you how Wendylou (and her AMAZING son Desmond) came into our lives:
We have made a tradition of going to the fabulous, over-the-top Halloween parties at the McKittrick Hotel. At the Curse of the Mummy party in 2013, we happened to be seated at dinner with a very sweet, incredibly shy woman that we sort of took in as one of our own-- Wendylou. We were both in Egyptian drag, and Wendylou told us about her 6 year old gender non-conforming son Desi, and we were both impressed and overwhelmed by her passion and committment to being supportive of him as he sought to find his place in the world. Long story short, Wendylou and Desi have become like family to us and are among our dearest friends.
Desi has become something of a celebrity in his own right- you can learn more about his rise to divadom and link to his ever-growing social media network here: https://desmondisamazing.com. And Wendylou continues to stand by him, and go above and beyond to help him realize his dream of being an inspriration to others like him. Wendylou is an AMAZING mom.
We have been with them at events and grown men and women come up to her in tears thanking her and saying how much it would have meant for them to have had such a supportive mother during their confusing and terrifying formative years. She is shy, and cringes at all the attention, but she does it for Desi, and for the other kids and parents that struggle thinking they are all alone out there. She gives so much of herself to helping Desi be himself.
But they are really struggling as a family right now. Wendylou has been unemployed for months, despite valiant efforts sending out resumes daily, and they are having a hard time making ends meet on her husband's salary. Basic living expensese are a huge challenge, let alone the thought of having no Christmas this year.
Add to that that the alt-right has recently launched an attack against Wendylou calling her a child abuser, among other things, and calling for their followers to post on Desi's Facebook page.
It resulted in hundreds of attacks, literal and implied death threats against Wendylou and her husband, and calls of "kill it with fire" about sweet Desi. This is not a new phenomena-- Rush Limbaugh called them out a few years ago, resulting in a similar onslaught of hate. But they have learned to let it flow past them like water off a duck's back.
It really doesn't help her job search either! When prospective employers Google Wendylou, it doesn't take too much digging to come across all the negativity that has been spewed at her and the drama that it creates.
We feel hopeless when we realize how many nasty souls there are that fail to see what a gift Desmond is to the world, and what a gift Wendylou is for her unconditional love and support for him.
We spoke this morning and we cried on the phone together this discussing this beautiful post from Wendylou. We shared her post on Facebook, and several people reached out asking what they could do to help.
So here we are-- we are creating this GoFundMe page so people who are able can share what they can with this special family-- to help them get by, and to help them make sure that Christmas is a celebration of the love of the season.
We know that Wendylou doesn't like to ask for help. This campaign was not her idea-- we came up with it this morning. It's hard for all of us to ask for help when we're struggling. It must be horribly embarrassing for her. But we hope that she will see this as a way for people to support them during this difficult time, not just financially but emotionally, so she sees that there are many peopel out there who admire and respect their family and what they stand for.
If anyone deserves it, Wendylou and Desi do.
Love WILL conquer hate!
"Thank you so much for your assistance during this difficult time. We are so happy that we will be able to have a Christmas this year, as well as pay our bills for the rest of the month and next month. We are extremely grateful to each of you for your love and support."
I do want to answer one question that one of the trolls asked:
"Why did it take online bullying to get us to start this fundraiser? Were they not struggling before? It seems like they are using Desmond as a piggy bank."
It's simple: We didn't realize the extend of how desperate the family was until Wendylou poured her heart out in the post on the Desmond is Amazing Facebook page. After reading it, a number of people asked what they could do to support them. People who don't see them on a regular basis, or don't even know them so are not able to provide direct assistance.
It's easy to judge when you don't have all the facts. And it's easy to look away when you don't know just how hard someone is struggling because they work hard to hide it from the outside world.
I am proud of my friends, and all the others that have chipped in to help make the holidays a little brighter for Wendylou and Desi's family. My faith in humanity is restored.
They said I am overstating the amount of hate being directed at Desi. I am happy to say that many of the initial comments on the right-wacko's video have been removed after many of us reported them as hate speech: Ones like "kill him with fire" and "die faggot."
But these were still there this evening (note how many "thumbs up" the haters are getting: