Help with Moving On
Donation protected
First, I want to say this: this is probably one of the most embarrassing things I have EVER had to do! And I really don’t want to. But, I have no idea what else to do.
So, as some may know, others have absolutely no idea...I was married back in June of 2014 (which I never should have done!!!). Anyway, it was a mistake. He was the sweetest guy....when he was sober. When he drank, he became a monster. In the summer of 2016, he strangled me (while he was drunk, of course). There was a DANCO put into place (which wasn’t the first one, he had already sat jail time for assaulting me). He ended up sitting a year in prison for the strangulation. While he was in there, the state dropped the DANCO due to him being incarcerated. We began to communicate again. He promised me he had changed. And that he wouldn’t drink again (even though I had heard that one before). He was dad to my kids (not biologically, but they called him dad). So, I gave him another chance.....and when he got out of prison things were AMAZING!!! He was sober (had to be, he was on parole). Things had never been better. Until March of 2018, when he got off of parole. He started drinking again. Not heavily. But of course, as time went on, it got worse. To the point where he was drinking EVERY DAY. And I don’t mean just a few beers every day. I mean getting wasted every day. Drinking from the time he woke up until the time he passed out. I didn’t want my kids to lose the man that they considered dad. But in December, I had finally had enough. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting to the point where I thought he was going to hurt me again; only this time, I didn’t know if I would survive it. And my kids didn’t deserve to continue to watch this or to lose their mom. So, I went and got an Order for Protection against him.
My oldest has A LOT of mental diagnoses due to the things he had witnessed. Including PTSD, that is just one of MANY diagnoses. He has therapy, skills worker, a PCA, etc. I love my son to pieces. And wish I could take all of his pain away. He still to this day thinks that my ex is going to come back. That I am going to let him back. In fact, all 3 of my kids always ask me why I haven’t divorced him yet. “Mommy, are you going to divorce (his name here)?”. “Mommy, when can you divorce (his name here?”. (I am not putting his name in here because I am not trying to bash him or anything. I have no idea how he is doing these days, and I’m going to leave it that way).
Anyway, I want this divorce to just be done. To give me closure, and most importantly, to give my kids closure. I have filled out the paperwork, but there is a $500 filing fee. (Yes, I tried to file for an IFP, but apparently I make too much....not really sure how that is possible. I live paycheck to paycheck). So, I am trying to get help in closing this chapter of our lives.
Yes, that is only half of what I am asking for help with. The other half....well, the ex is a mechanic. So all of the work in my car USED TO BE free. I had a shop look at my car and it needs A LOT of work! (It needs a steering rack, new exhaust, tie rods, brakes, etc). I know all of that is a lot more than the other $500. But I just want to get a start on it. It doesn’t all have to be done at once. My car has over 220,000 miles on it (And sounds like a motorcycle, yes, it is that loud!!). But, I can’t afford a new car. So, I just need this one to continue getting me and the kids from point A to point B.
I get absolutely NO child support either. So, it just my income to take care of EVERYTHING.
My first goal is to get this divorce taken care of. Even when talking to my son’s therapist, she thinks that the divorce will help calm my son’s fears of him coming back. (I know myself, that I would NEVER let him back! But my son is just a kid. He doesn’t know that).
So, as some may know, others have absolutely no idea...I was married back in June of 2014 (which I never should have done!!!). Anyway, it was a mistake. He was the sweetest guy....when he was sober. When he drank, he became a monster. In the summer of 2016, he strangled me (while he was drunk, of course). There was a DANCO put into place (which wasn’t the first one, he had already sat jail time for assaulting me). He ended up sitting a year in prison for the strangulation. While he was in there, the state dropped the DANCO due to him being incarcerated. We began to communicate again. He promised me he had changed. And that he wouldn’t drink again (even though I had heard that one before). He was dad to my kids (not biologically, but they called him dad). So, I gave him another chance.....and when he got out of prison things were AMAZING!!! He was sober (had to be, he was on parole). Things had never been better. Until March of 2018, when he got off of parole. He started drinking again. Not heavily. But of course, as time went on, it got worse. To the point where he was drinking EVERY DAY. And I don’t mean just a few beers every day. I mean getting wasted every day. Drinking from the time he woke up until the time he passed out. I didn’t want my kids to lose the man that they considered dad. But in December, I had finally had enough. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was getting to the point where I thought he was going to hurt me again; only this time, I didn’t know if I would survive it. And my kids didn’t deserve to continue to watch this or to lose their mom. So, I went and got an Order for Protection against him.
My oldest has A LOT of mental diagnoses due to the things he had witnessed. Including PTSD, that is just one of MANY diagnoses. He has therapy, skills worker, a PCA, etc. I love my son to pieces. And wish I could take all of his pain away. He still to this day thinks that my ex is going to come back. That I am going to let him back. In fact, all 3 of my kids always ask me why I haven’t divorced him yet. “Mommy, are you going to divorce (his name here)?”. “Mommy, when can you divorce (his name here?”. (I am not putting his name in here because I am not trying to bash him or anything. I have no idea how he is doing these days, and I’m going to leave it that way).
Anyway, I want this divorce to just be done. To give me closure, and most importantly, to give my kids closure. I have filled out the paperwork, but there is a $500 filing fee. (Yes, I tried to file for an IFP, but apparently I make too much....not really sure how that is possible. I live paycheck to paycheck). So, I am trying to get help in closing this chapter of our lives.
Yes, that is only half of what I am asking for help with. The other half....well, the ex is a mechanic. So all of the work in my car USED TO BE free. I had a shop look at my car and it needs A LOT of work! (It needs a steering rack, new exhaust, tie rods, brakes, etc). I know all of that is a lot more than the other $500. But I just want to get a start on it. It doesn’t all have to be done at once. My car has over 220,000 miles on it (And sounds like a motorcycle, yes, it is that loud!!). But, I can’t afford a new car. So, I just need this one to continue getting me and the kids from point A to point B.
I get absolutely NO child support either. So, it just my income to take care of EVERYTHING.
My first goal is to get this divorce taken care of. Even when talking to my son’s therapist, she thinks that the divorce will help calm my son’s fears of him coming back. (I know myself, that I would NEVER let him back! But my son is just a kid. He doesn’t know that).
Organizer
Jessica Weimer
Organizer
Sauk Rapids, MN
