GoFundMyRecovery

$6,238 of $999,999 goal

Raised by 149 people in 22 months
Here's an update on my life. Unfortunately I did not get the full time job I applied for at the Santa Barbara Public Library, and as a result I had an emotional breakdown. I no longer have a part time job and I'm actively looking for work with little success.

My request for help is mostly for assistance to pay for my storage unit ($114 per month) and PO Box ($90 per year). More details in the video.

Thank you to everyone who contributed before. I've come to realize I'm a difficult person to have as a friend. Thank you to those who've stuck around.


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Hi Everybody,

I write to you today with a good update, of sorts. First off, I'm in a much better place mentally than I have been in the last two years, maybe more. I've started seeing a therapist I like and have been seeing a psychiatrist I also like for a few months now. I'm doing much better at taking care of myself; I've been keeping up with appointments with my primary care physician and I've finally made an appointment to see a dentist. More than that, I'm just generally happier and less anxious than I've been for quite a while now.

Now for the unconventional part of this update... After two years of essentially couch surfing, I've found an independent and relatively stable living situation that has been working for me: I'm sleeping outside. I'm not on the streets but rather in a wooded area around Goleta. I lived in Goleta for five years or so, so I know the area pretty well. I already had some camping equipment and I bought a few other things to keep me comfortable and safe from the elements.

Although this is an unconventional solution, it has worked well for me so far. It's only been a week and a half, so I know more challenges will be up ahead. But I've always liked camping, and I've found a very private place that suits my need for privacy at night. Like I said above, I'm calmer than I've been in years. The drop in anxiety was so dramatic it surprised me. I wake up to the sounds of the birds. I hear the wind blowing through the tree tops. And I'm getting in good shape again carrying around my belongings. I don't want this to be a long term situation, but it should work for the short, possibly medium term future.

Those of you who know me well know I'm not the most conventional person, so while this may be unexpected, it might not be much of a surprise. It's nice to not have to worry about who I can find to let me stay at their place, or overstaying my welcome, or suddenly having to leave if guests are coming that need the space I'm using. And there's no rent!

The assistant minister at the Unitarian Society brought up a good point when I was speaking with her: in some cultures this wouldn't be seen as a strange thing. Kind of like the guru who goes out into nature to ponder life, the universe, and everything. I don't presume to consider myself a guru, but I am looking forward to some pondering without the ever present anxiety clouding my head that has been there for many years.

I've been working with the Showers of Blessing for about two years now. Through that I have a lot of connections to the homeless community and organizations providing services for the homeless community. I've recently started getting a small income from the Showers of Blessing which helps for random expenses like bus passes and over the counter medicines. It's not much, but without rent it mostly fits my needs. I also have EBT, commonly known as food stamps, so I'm not worried about going hungry.

I've mentioned in previous updates my desire to serve my community. I've come to realize it's my passion to work for the betterment of those with low socioeconomic status. This is giving me more first hand experience with the difficulties faced when resources are lacking. I'm hoping my ongoing experience with the Showers of Blessing will lead to something that's a "step up" in lifestyle.

It looks like I won't be directly using my physics education in a career, but that education did teach me how to approach problems analytically when looking for a solution, which is an invaluable skill. I do hope to teach physics again in the future in a more casual way, teaching single classes here and there. But to be truly happy with the fruits of my labor I want to help to alleviate the suffering of others. That can come in time, right now I'm content to be working the dozen hours or so a week I do with the Showers of Blessing while I continue to work on myself. At this point in time I think a full time job would push me back into a highly anxious state or possibly another manic episode.

So that's my update. I'm not asking for money this time. I would never turn down money, but it's not a dire need. I'm getting by OK. Just know that I'm doing well, and your assistance in the past helped me get to this point.

One last thing: I just signed up for a new Lifeline phone service in the last week. I don't think anyone reading this knows my number, so if you'd like it send me an email at angela.karmis@gmail.com

Thank you and best wishes,
Angela
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Here's an update on my life. Unfortunately I did not get the full time job I applied for at the Santa Barbara Public Library, and as a result I had an emotional breakdown. I no longer have a part time job and I'm actively looking for work with little success.

My request for help is mostly for assistance to pay for my storage unit ($114 per month) and PO Box ($90 per year). More details in the video.

Thank you to everyone who contributed before. I've come to realize I'm a difficult person to have as a friend. Thank you to those who've stuck around.
An update, and another request for help.
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An update about my community work with a little more about my philosophy regarding this experiment
A gift. Thank you, Rose!
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I believe in a radically different way of life.

I believe in working because I want to, not because I have to. I believe this is a life everyone deserves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u474RNkst5Q

Please click here to make a monthly donation:

http://www.gofundme.com/2fqpgbnw?flow=d_aa_v1

What would I do if I had a universal basic income? I would help in my local community. I already do, and I will share updates with those who help me continue to do that.
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Read a Previous Update
Pamela Shaw
8 days ago

Hi Angela, I’m glad to see this update from you, and happy to hear you are in a stronger place, and have found a comfortable living situation. We live in a beautiful place, and if you have found a way to feel safe and enjoy privacy while experiencing the benefits of nature, that is wonderful. I’ve been struggling a bit. After taking care of my father up in San Francisco for a few months, who was very ill, she passed away. It was very distressing, overwhelming, and sad. I am still trying to make sense of it all and find a way to reintegrate into my life. Grief can be deafening at times. In any case, im sending you my very best and am happy to hear that you are feeling well, both mentally and physically. Wishing you nothing but wonderful things! Thanks for the update! Keep up the positivity and the self-care. Warmly, Pamela

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Cheryl Lynn
1 month ago

Hi, Angela, I'm so glad to hear you're doing well, friend! And I'm glad you are in nature so much, it seems -- that helps to reduce anxiety a lot. I'm sorry I haven't replied to these updates until now, but I've been keeping track via my e-mail. I kind of felt like I had left you behind somehow, and I want to do something to help, so I have a suggestion (just a suggestion) that might improve your financial situation (and in case you don't already know about this): investing in cryptocurrency. I just started taking some online courses that go through the steps of building up an investment portfolio. The courses are paid by subscription, but I can give you some links, if you'd like. And I can (still) deeply empathize with being in a precarious (unconventional?) financial situation: I'm working a temp job right now, and just took a whack in the financial area when I paid taxes. But that is going to change soon. Let me know if you ever want to meet for coffee or tea or such -- I still live in Santa Barbara, so I'd be available. Love and all best wishes upon you! ~ Cheryl

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Viva R. Horowitz
6 months ago

Hi Angela, I hope you're doing better. I'd love to talk to you and catch up some time. I'm afraid I don't have your current email address. Viva

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Jordan Harris
22 months ago

life is tough and I can empathize with the hopelessness. I hope you get the help you need. I'm broke about to finish school so i can't donate money to you now. I was down and out before and got an inheritance feeling successful like i was set for life i spent it really fast. If i could go back i would have came up with a plan to not only get a room and turn a phone on but to make a plan to not find your self in the same spot. No where to go but up right without an engine to keep you going eventually you loose momentum. best wishes

+ Read More
Thomas Harper
22 months ago

essential services in santa Barbara are completely inpept. the morons at admhs are particularly, egregiously stupid and will ruin your life and health! go nowhere near them!

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Tracy Kasch
22 months ago

Angela- this was my worst fear for you confirmed. I'm so sorry I cannot help more and that you've felt this overwhelming anxiety, it's such a rough dark place. I wish I could help you more. You are loved, please never forget that.

+ Read More

$6,238 of $999,999 goal

Raised by 149 people in 22 months
Created July 21, 2016
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Julia Callender
20 months ago

You were the best physics instructor I ever had. You brought a passion and a commitment to teaching that I have rarely seen through high school, undergrad, and even grad school. I learned a lot from you, both about science and about how to teach science to others. If you approach helping people with even a fraction of the intent and passion you put into teaching us high school and college kids, then I wholeheartedly support it.

Pamela Shaw
8 days ago

Hi Angela, I’m glad to see this update from you, and happy to hear you are in a stronger place, and have found a comfortable living situation. We live in a beautiful place, and if you have found a way to feel safe and enjoy privacy while experiencing the benefits of nature, that is wonderful. I’ve been struggling a bit. After taking care of my father up in San Francisco for a few months, who was very ill, she passed away. It was very distressing, overwhelming, and sad. I am still trying to make sense of it all and find a way to reintegrate into my life. Grief can be deafening at times. In any case, im sending you my very best and am happy to hear that you are feeling well, both mentally and physically. Wishing you nothing but wonderful things! Thanks for the update! Keep up the positivity and the self-care. Warmly, Pamela

+ Read More
Cheryl Lynn
1 month ago

Hi, Angela, I'm so glad to hear you're doing well, friend! And I'm glad you are in nature so much, it seems -- that helps to reduce anxiety a lot. I'm sorry I haven't replied to these updates until now, but I've been keeping track via my e-mail. I kind of felt like I had left you behind somehow, and I want to do something to help, so I have a suggestion (just a suggestion) that might improve your financial situation (and in case you don't already know about this): investing in cryptocurrency. I just started taking some online courses that go through the steps of building up an investment portfolio. The courses are paid by subscription, but I can give you some links, if you'd like. And I can (still) deeply empathize with being in a precarious (unconventional?) financial situation: I'm working a temp job right now, and just took a whack in the financial area when I paid taxes. But that is going to change soon. Let me know if you ever want to meet for coffee or tea or such -- I still live in Santa Barbara, so I'd be available. Love and all best wishes upon you! ~ Cheryl

+ Read More
Viva R. Horowitz
6 months ago

Hi Angela, I hope you're doing better. I'd love to talk to you and catch up some time. I'm afraid I don't have your current email address. Viva

+ Read More
Jordan Harris
22 months ago

life is tough and I can empathize with the hopelessness. I hope you get the help you need. I'm broke about to finish school so i can't donate money to you now. I was down and out before and got an inheritance feeling successful like i was set for life i spent it really fast. If i could go back i would have came up with a plan to not only get a room and turn a phone on but to make a plan to not find your self in the same spot. No where to go but up right without an engine to keep you going eventually you loose momentum. best wishes

+ Read More
Thomas Harper
22 months ago

essential services in santa Barbara are completely inpept. the morons at admhs are particularly, egregiously stupid and will ruin your life and health! go nowhere near them!

+ Read More
Tracy Kasch
22 months ago

Angela- this was my worst fear for you confirmed. I'm so sorry I cannot help more and that you've felt this overwhelming anxiety, it's such a rough dark place. I wish I could help you more. You are loved, please never forget that.

+ Read More
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