John Breaks the Cycle

My Story:

I am from Sonoma County, Santa Rosa to be precise.  I spent most of my 51 years on Earth there and fought to stay, but surrendered to the need to leave.

I am a high-tech worker.  Most of my experience and training is as an Electronics Technician or Engineering Technician, with some Lab Administration, Test Technician, Electro-Mechanical Technician, and Assembly.  I even had a brief stint as a Test Engineer, but it went the way temp jobs do when the tech sector was flailing.  I also went back to school to become a Civil Engineering Tech, but that sector crashed before I'd even finished.

I grew tired of struggling and just surviving.  I grew tired of taking the scraps some companies have offered and being disposed of so easily.  I Googled jobs in my sector in the South Bay and found much more to offer.

Waiting until I'd saved enough money to ease the move, to rent a place in the South, would've been a delaying tactic.  Frankly, if I had done that, I'd have never moved because it was that difficult to put together enough work to make it happen, especially while trying to maintain living in Santa Rosa.

I knew that if I stayed in Sonoma County I'd likely end up in a shelter because of the way things have been going.  I decided to take a chance and be homeless where I'd more likely be able to find work and get back on my feet, but also thrive instead of restarting the cycle.

So I chose to move with no job and no place to live lined up.  Companies may help Engineers relocate, but not lower-level employees.  I also knew that no employer would seriously consider hiring me until I lived in area.  I hoped to find space in a homeless shelter, but it didn't look pretty and I was afraid.

It is difficult.  I usually play it safe.  This has lead to avoiding making choices and being lead around by the nose by circumstance.  I placed obstacles in my own way by waiting until I had done A to do B.  When I can't accomplish A, B never happens.  I skipped A.

I've never done anything this risky or adventurous (foolish?) before.

I don't know where my final destination will be here.  I just needed to get to a location where I'd be reasonably local to jobs.  Once I find work and put together rent, deposit, etc, I'll work out the rest.

So I moved.  I had some money, as long as I wasn't going to be spending it on next months rent.  I got rid of a lot of my stuff, though not as much as I wanted to due to running out of time after giving notice to my landlord and roommate.  I reserved a moving van and a small storage in Santa Clara.  I changed my Google Voice number to a South Bay area code.  I paid for a PO Box in Santa Clara.  The latter two so that I'd have local contact information and would not be knocked out of consideration for employment due to not appearing local.

I've been dealing with the shelter system for a little over a week now. "System" is one word for it. It is somewhat of a hodge-podge and much of it seems set up to prolong your state of homelessness.  Many of the rules make you choose between going to interviews, job fairs, or a job or having a place to eat and sleep.

I am focused on getting a job and becoming a renter. I have no desire to be one of the chronic homeless. I want to have a full, healthy, and happy life. I figure the faster I make this happen, the better, lest I get sucked into the quagmire. I am doing what I know I need to do; going to networking events, job fairs, employment agencies, looking online, submitting resumes, etc. 

I went to a job networking meeting knowing I was going to have to, for the first time in my life, try and find a place to sleep outside in a big city. I am dedicated to finding work. I'll take a not-ideal job while I'm working on finding the ideal, as long as I can make enough to rent a small room or do a share-rental. 

I found what I thought was a covered and dry spot: Covered in the sense that people would not see me. Then the sprinklers came on. I ended up wet and cold and up all night and throughout the day. The clothes I was wearing got dryer through the day. Enough so that I could go to the job interview I had lined up in Los Altos. 

I am and will avail myself of the homeless services, as well as employment, and other services to get on my feet ASAP.  Some of these services are impediments as much as they are of assistance. If I cannot go to job-search related events, or an actual job, once I find one, because I will lose a bed (and possibly a meal) for having attended, they are blocking my path towards self-sufficiency, employment, and dignity.

Some of my friends have wanted to help me, but haven’t known what they could do.  This included monetarily.  They wanted something safer than a place to mail it.  One suggested I start a GoFundMe campaign.  I’ve been reticent because I do have a hard time asking for what I want or need, especially money.  My friend understood and told me to “Know. Your. Worth!”  In part, I think she means that I should know I am worthy and that I can ask for help.

So, I’m looking to raise money to keep my phone on, rent a room, studio, or share-rental, and cover living, commuting, and job-search related expenses.  Rather than delaying the start of the campaign to do the research into actual costs, I’m going with asking for $5000.  I’m hoping to cover first, last, and deposit, as well as other expenses for at least a month.  I have never lived in the best neighborhoods or high off the hog, so I have no plans on living large. 

San Jose seems to be especially expensive.  I'm not locked into staying here.  I just wanted to get to the area, and this just happens to be where most of the homeless resources are.  I plan on moving somewhere in the surrounding area, depending on where I get the job, the commute, and the cost of renting.

I will continue to use whatever resources I can to make any money I have, or will receive, last.  I grew up poor and am by nature someone who can’t help trying to save a buck.

I am grateful for any help you are willing to extend, no matter the amount and no matter the form, be it monetary, or letting me use your washer and dryer, giving me a ride, letting me crash out on your couch one night, meeting for coffee and being a friendly face and having a good conversation, showing me around the community and helping me get oriented, helping me make connections, be it for career, community, or friendship, pointing me to other resources.  I hesitate to say, a used vehicle.  The list could go on (oh, must it?).

I also hope, somewhere in the back of my mind, that someone will see to what lengths I'm willing to go to change my life, and they'll deem me worthy of telling someone (or someone who knows someone else) that will start the ball rolling towards not just a job, but a place where I can thrive intellectually, creatively, financially, socially, with integrity, and a feeling of mutual respect.

Before I close, a success story:

I am a type 2 diabetic.  My top weight was 440 pounds.  I have lost and regained much of the weight I had lost more than once.  For me, losing weight was easy; it was getting started that was always difficult.  Every time I started losing weight, I just suddenly found the willingness and continued one day at a time.  I’d lose a lot of weight, but would eventually fall off because I’d stop tracking my food and stop weighing.

May 31st, 2013, at 383 pounds, I found the willingness again.  I started weighing myself daily and using My Fitness Pal to keep track of calories, food, and activity.  Shortly after, I started cycling. 

Over the next year, I joined a cycling club, bought a bicycle better suited to my mass, and lost about 130 pounds.  I even rode my first and only metric century (100 km) event.  I also started a Facebook page called John’s Wheels to Weight Loss .  I had a full-time job at the time, but it was temporary.  After my job ended, I continued to lose weight and ride, but my riding was reduced mainly to commuting.  All that time I had for riding and I felt guilty at the prospect of riding when I should be looking for work.  I continued to track my food, but got sloppier and plateaued.

The plateau is somewhat relative.  I actually regained about 20 pounds, but in my career as a fat person, that is a miracle.  I used to fall off my diet and just pound the weight back on in practically no time.  To have maintained my weight within 20 pounds for over a year is amazing.  I could even consider this practice for maintenance when I reach my goal weight.  After all, what is maintenance but a plateau at goal?

Due to my weight loss, I no longer have to take medications for high blood pressure or my diabetes.  They are both controlled through diet and exercise.

I am doing my best eating shelter food, but it is usually carb and sugar heavy.  I never go for seconds, but I’m at a loss on tracking my calories.  I also haven’t been on a scale for a while.  Mine is in storage, along with my other stuff, and Defiant, my bicycle, which I dearly miss.  I’m carrying too much stuff to ride her right now.

Finally:

I chose to take this leap.  I chose to break the cycle of doing what I’ve always done by playing it safe, staying in Santa Rosa, and hoping the employment market would improve for my field, and moved to San Jose without a net.  I’m asking for help to establish a base of operations, so I can give my best to my job search without the obstacles created by being homeless.

I have no intention on dragging out things.  My life in Santa Rosa was already a drag.  I did not move here to continue doing the same thing.

I do have concerns that being homeless and that this fund-raiser would prejudice potential employers, so please share it only with those with a less jaundiced eye towards the less fortunate. 

Much of what I've written above has been posted on Facebook , but only shared with FB Friends.  If you somehow found this campaign and have not Friended me, you are welcome to do so.  Let me know how you found me.  I don't Friend everyone who requests.

Ever in Gratitude,
John