Leave Abusive Ex/Move to Boyfriend
Donation protected
My name is Vicky, I'm a 27 year old freelance artist from New Mexico, US and I'm currently stuck in an abusive household and I'm trying to raise money to leave my current situation and move to Australia to be with my boyfriend, Cassius.
This is a bit of a long story but I'll do my best to keep it short and simple.
For the last 9 years now I've endured abuse from my ex husband in the form of insults, guilt trips, gas-lighting, screaming, setting off my PTSD on purpose, financial abuse, and on a couple occasions it's escalated to physical abuse. Living in this situation has been hell on my mental health. My depression, anxiety, and PTSD have never been worse and it's nearly driven me to my breaking point more than once.
For the last year I've been trying to leave my ex. I've made it clear that the marriage is over, I'm not interested in fixing things, I want to move out, and that there's nothing he can do to change my mind but that's only made my situation at home worse. I don't make enough money to live on my own at the moment so I've been a bit stuck here. I've been doing my best to work out a place I can stay in the meantime while I get on my feet but so far I haven't had any luck. I've also been applying for work left and right but so far I have yet to find a job. And without money and a steady paying job I can't afford to leave. Currently I do freelance artwork which earns me some money but not enough to live off of.
And the financial abuse has made it nearly impossible to leave as well. One of the things my ex did was convince me time and time again to use my credit lines for purchases or to give him money that was intended to go towards paying off credit with the promise that he'd pay me back, which he never did. Once the monthly payments became too high for me to afford on my meager income as an artist he promised to take over the payments until they were low enough for me to afford again. What ended up happening was he took control of my accounts and stopped paying for them entirely. I didn't find out until a couple years later when I started receiving calls from collection agencies that he had done this. When I asked why and what we were going to do about it his response was "My name isn't on the accounts so it's not my problem" and now I'm stuck with about $6,000 in overdue debt that's been sent to collections and a credit score of 493.
With a credit score that low no one will rent to me. None of my friends are in a financial position to take me in until I get back on my feet either and I don't really have any family that can help either.
To make matters worse the lease on our apartment is up in November and once that's up we're going our separate ways for good whether I have a place to go or not. I'd really rather not end up homeless and if possible I'd like to move out sooner than that because even though we've broken up the abuse hasn't stopped and living here is hell. I honestly don't know much more I can take.
My plan for a while now has been to move to Australia to be with my boyfriend, Cass, who means the world to me. Originally I hadn't been planning on that happening for sometime but as it turns out it would actually be cheaper for me to move there than it would be for me to move out and get a new apartment in the city I already live in. I would have to clear away my debt, fix my credit, afford the fees and application cost of an apartment, and pay moving costs which would cost nearly $10,000 to do. But moving to Australia and getting a fresh start there would only cost me about $6,500.
The plane ticket should be around $1,500usd.
Cost of bringing over the most important of my possessions will be about $500. Most of my things I'll be leaving in the states for the time being but I will need to bring at least my clothes and my desktop computer for work. The rest I'll worry about bringing over once I have a place of my own and I'm more established in Australia.
And finally my visa. I plan on applying for a work and holiday visa which will be just about $335usd ($440aud) for the application but it also requires me to have around $3,800usd ($5,000aud) to prove that I can support myself while living there for the duration of the visa.
I'm well aware that the work and holiday visa only covers living in Australia for a year unless you meet certain requirements needed for an extension. I plan on doing everything I can to meet those requirements, getting a year extension, and then applying for a partner visa before my two years in Australia is over that way I can stay with Cass, where I'm safe and happy, without worry of having to leave once my two years are up. But right now my main concern is getting there in the first place and establishing myself enough that Cass and I can start working towards qualifying for the partner visa. We won't be able to apply for that without having already been together in person for at least a year and filing a ton of proof and paperwork to prove we're a legitimate couple. That's going to take some time and the work and holiday visas will give us the time we need.
This is a lot of money that I'm asking for and I don't know if I'll actually meet my goal. But any little bit helps in reaching that goal to get out of my current abusive situation and getting someplace where I can be safe and happy. I can't even begin to describe how grateful I'll be to anyone who donates or spreads the word and helps me make this happen.
Thank you so, so much,
Vicky
This is a bit of a long story but I'll do my best to keep it short and simple.
For the last 9 years now I've endured abuse from my ex husband in the form of insults, guilt trips, gas-lighting, screaming, setting off my PTSD on purpose, financial abuse, and on a couple occasions it's escalated to physical abuse. Living in this situation has been hell on my mental health. My depression, anxiety, and PTSD have never been worse and it's nearly driven me to my breaking point more than once.
For the last year I've been trying to leave my ex. I've made it clear that the marriage is over, I'm not interested in fixing things, I want to move out, and that there's nothing he can do to change my mind but that's only made my situation at home worse. I don't make enough money to live on my own at the moment so I've been a bit stuck here. I've been doing my best to work out a place I can stay in the meantime while I get on my feet but so far I haven't had any luck. I've also been applying for work left and right but so far I have yet to find a job. And without money and a steady paying job I can't afford to leave. Currently I do freelance artwork which earns me some money but not enough to live off of.
And the financial abuse has made it nearly impossible to leave as well. One of the things my ex did was convince me time and time again to use my credit lines for purchases or to give him money that was intended to go towards paying off credit with the promise that he'd pay me back, which he never did. Once the monthly payments became too high for me to afford on my meager income as an artist he promised to take over the payments until they were low enough for me to afford again. What ended up happening was he took control of my accounts and stopped paying for them entirely. I didn't find out until a couple years later when I started receiving calls from collection agencies that he had done this. When I asked why and what we were going to do about it his response was "My name isn't on the accounts so it's not my problem" and now I'm stuck with about $6,000 in overdue debt that's been sent to collections and a credit score of 493.
With a credit score that low no one will rent to me. None of my friends are in a financial position to take me in until I get back on my feet either and I don't really have any family that can help either.
To make matters worse the lease on our apartment is up in November and once that's up we're going our separate ways for good whether I have a place to go or not. I'd really rather not end up homeless and if possible I'd like to move out sooner than that because even though we've broken up the abuse hasn't stopped and living here is hell. I honestly don't know much more I can take.
My plan for a while now has been to move to Australia to be with my boyfriend, Cass, who means the world to me. Originally I hadn't been planning on that happening for sometime but as it turns out it would actually be cheaper for me to move there than it would be for me to move out and get a new apartment in the city I already live in. I would have to clear away my debt, fix my credit, afford the fees and application cost of an apartment, and pay moving costs which would cost nearly $10,000 to do. But moving to Australia and getting a fresh start there would only cost me about $6,500.
The plane ticket should be around $1,500usd.
Cost of bringing over the most important of my possessions will be about $500. Most of my things I'll be leaving in the states for the time being but I will need to bring at least my clothes and my desktop computer for work. The rest I'll worry about bringing over once I have a place of my own and I'm more established in Australia.
And finally my visa. I plan on applying for a work and holiday visa which will be just about $335usd ($440aud) for the application but it also requires me to have around $3,800usd ($5,000aud) to prove that I can support myself while living there for the duration of the visa.
I'm well aware that the work and holiday visa only covers living in Australia for a year unless you meet certain requirements needed for an extension. I plan on doing everything I can to meet those requirements, getting a year extension, and then applying for a partner visa before my two years in Australia is over that way I can stay with Cass, where I'm safe and happy, without worry of having to leave once my two years are up. But right now my main concern is getting there in the first place and establishing myself enough that Cass and I can start working towards qualifying for the partner visa. We won't be able to apply for that without having already been together in person for at least a year and filing a ton of proof and paperwork to prove we're a legitimate couple. That's going to take some time and the work and holiday visas will give us the time we need.
This is a lot of money that I'm asking for and I don't know if I'll actually meet my goal. But any little bit helps in reaching that goal to get out of my current abusive situation and getting someplace where I can be safe and happy. I can't even begin to describe how grateful I'll be to anyone who donates or spreads the word and helps me make this happen.
Thank you so, so much,
Vicky
Organizer
Victoria Long
Organizer
Albuquerque, NM