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<div>The recent fires have affected so many of our loved ones, and one family close to my heart has been hit unimaginably hard. <strong>Tobi is an incredible father to two beautiful kids, Noah &amp; Anton. Stacey is a loving bonus parent to the boys.</strong> In just a few hours, the boys lost both of their homes. <strong>Caro</strong>, their mother also lost her home which was located just a few blocks away. They lost their home, cherished memories, belongings, and the stability that every family deserves.
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<div>They managed to escape at 3am with only the clothes on their backs, and while they’re safe, they’re starting from scratch in the face of overwhelming loss.
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<div><strong>Let’s come together to support this amazing family as they begin to rebuild their lives.</strong> Every little bit helps, whether it’s providing essentials, easing financial burdens, or simply showing them that their community is here for them.
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<div>Thank you in advance for rallying around Tobi, Stacey, Noah, and Anton. Together, we can help give them a bit of hope and stability during this heartbreaking time.
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<div>With love,
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<div>Trish
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Help Tobi and Stacey Recover after Eaton fire

<div>Our dear friends, <strong>Jasper, Vjera, Isla, and James have lost everything, including their home in this recent devastation. </strong>We are trying to help them get back on their feet with things that will not be covered by insurance or FEMA.
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<div><strong>Asking friends and family who know and love them, and anyone that can help, to contribute what they can.</strong> These fires have devastated so many, and the Watts family is close to our hearts.
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<div>We are Matt and Amy, who have been close friends with the Watts for many years and live in the Los Angeles area.
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<div>Thank you and much love.
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Help the Watts family get back on their feet.

<div>We are all in shock over the news that <strong>Ricky Aspinwall lost his life protecting his students</strong>. Please consider donating to help <strong>Shayna Aspinwall with expenses</strong> she will have to incur and to make sure her two precious babies are taken care of. I would love to raise enough to provide Shayna the opportunity to stay at home with her girls. <strong>We love the Aspinwalls!</strong> Thank you in advance for helping!  All funds receive will be transferred directly to Shayna to pay life expenses and afford to take time off work. 
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Assist Shayna Aspinwall in This Difficult Time

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<div>Hey there Austin Music Scene People!
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<div>This is KATHY MCCARTY!!
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<div>I am sure all of you remember “Little Dayna” — and probably half of you were in love with her in the eighties— the beautiful redheaded girl at all the shows and parties. Although she was not a musician, she was JUST AS MUCH a member of our Punk Rock Scene as ANYONE. Dayna was AT shows loving the scene and the music pretty much every night of the week for years on end. For TWO ENTIRE DECADES!
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<div>Well she has come on rough times and has some health issues, and although she qualifies for disability, she has not been able to navitate that system yet. She is living ENTIRELY on the proceeds of selling her paintings. And what has happened? Some ASSHOLE HACKED the Venmo account she shares with her Dad, who is on a fixed income himself.
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<div>THIS ASSHOLE got away with ALL the money in the Venmo account, ALL the money in both their checking accounts, ALL the money in the savings account *AND MAXED OUT MR BLACKWELL’S CREDIT CARD*.
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<div>Dayna and her dad took it up with Venmo, but their dispute was DENIED.
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<div>They have literally no money and no financial safety net now. They need about $2000 which is REALLY NOT a huge ask to get through September and be able to do things ike BUY GROCERIES.
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<div>LET’S SHOW DAYNA WHAT THE AUSTIN MUSIC SCENESTERS CAN DO when it’s time to HELP OUT ONE OF *OUR OWN*!! She thinks nobody cares about her anymore -- which is RIDICULOUS! I bet we can raise a mere $2000 in donations in a couple of days.
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'Little Dayna" was HACKED and needs Our Help

<div>RALLY FOR REGGIE B
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<div>You can be part of a resounding movement to RALLY for REGGIE B, a 58-year-old courageous warrior fighting a relentless rare genetic condition, Neurofibromatosis (NF). This disorder caused a 49-pound tumor on his left leg, tumors disfiguring his face, and many tumors growing on the nerves inside and outside his body. Tragically, attempts to operate on these tumors in the past have proven fatal to his family members, claiming the lives of both a beloved brother and a cherished nephew.
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<div>Reggie has weathered storms of unimaginable magnitude, facing heartbreaking setbacks and unfathomable struggles. His world was shattered when his lifelong pillar of strength and love, his mother, who he had lived with his entire life, tragically succumbed to Covid. Adding to his hardships, a cruel reverse mortgage lender foreclosed, auctioning off his home, and leaving him facing the possibility of being homeless.
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<div>Reggie's friends formed RALLY for REGGIE B with unwavering determination in the face of adversity. Swiftly securing an apartment and aiding his relocation before a looming eviction occurred. However, Reggie's severe disability and limited mobility render him unable to work or earn a living. Barely scraping by on meager social security funds, he now faces the harrowing reality of overwhelming rent payments, threatening his stability.
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<div>Reggie dreams of a life unburdened by the ceaseless anxiety, uncertainty, and fear he faces each day, a life many of us too often take for granted. Astonishingly, despite his battles, Reggie remains a beacon of unwavering optimism, pouring his heart into lifting others. Through social media, heartfelt phone calls, video chats and unwavering kindness, he brightens the lives of those hurting and is an inspiration to many. He embodies the essence of compassion and gratitude, leaving an indelible mark on all who encounter him.
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<div>Now the time has come for all of us to RALLY for REGGIE B using our collective power of compassion to ignite a change for Reggie. This movement is a testament to our unwavering solidarity, a resolute force spreading awareness to raise the crucial funds he desperately needs and deserves.
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<div>Our mission is clear: to secure $133,000 or more, ensuring Reggie can embrace the security and stability he deserves, anchoring him in his new apartment for the next five years and beyond.
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<div>We implore you to join us. Whether you've walked alongside Reggie for years or been introduced to his extraordinary story, your support is invaluable. Let us amplify our collective voice across every corner of the digital world like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and TikTok - calling upon your network of friends and acquaintances to join us in this awe-inspiring journey of hope and restoration.
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<div>Together, we hold the key to Reggie's future. YOU CAN HELP REGGIE in many ways:
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<div>DONATE channeling the power of your generosity.
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<div>SHARE relentlessly on all social media platforms, igniting a wildfire of support.
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<div>EMAIL your family, friends, and connections, urging them to join our cause.
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<div>REACH OUT to your employer, social groups, alumni, clubs, chambers, and business organizations, inviting them to RALLY for REGGIE B.
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<div>In our shared commitment to Reggie, we forge a transformative path that gifts him the security he profoundly deserves. Together, we will unlock a new chapter, breathing life into Reggie's days with immeasurable joy, purpose, and security.
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<div>Your acts of kindness, compassion, and unwavering support will forever etch your name upon Reggie's heart and the hearts of all who know him.
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<div>With boundless gratitude,
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<div>Team for Reggie B
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RALLY for REGGIE B

<div><strong>***LATEST UPDATE: </strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqjosdqw8is" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><strong>Click here for April 13th video update from Mila and Ashton</strong></a><strong>  </strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cpn-Zj3_Eg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><strong> </strong></a><strong>***</strong>
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<div>Today, I am a proud Ukrainian. While my family came to the United States in 1991, I was born in Chernivtsi, Ukraine in 1983. Ukrainians are proud and brave people who deserve our help in their time of need. This unjust attack on Ukraine and humanity at large is devastating and the Ukrainian people need our support. <strong>Our family is starting this fund to help provide immediate support and we will be matching up to $3 million dollars.</strong>
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<div>While we are witnessing the bravery of Ukrainians, we are also bearing witness to the unimaginable burden of those who have chosen safety. Countless amounts of people have left everything they know and love behind to seek refuge. With nothing but what they could carry, these Ukrainian refugees are in need of housing and supplies right away.
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<div>Through GoFundMe.org, this fundraiser will provide an immediate impact on refugee and humanitarian aid efforts. The fund will benefit Flexport.org and Airbnb.org, two organizations who are actively on the ground providing immediate help to those who need it most.
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<div><a href="https://flexport.org" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Flexport</a>.org is organizing shipments of relief supplies to refugee sites in Poland, Romania, Hungary, Slovakia and Moldova.
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<div><a href="https://airbnb.org" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Airbnb</a>.org is providing free, short-term housing to refugees fleeing Ukraine.
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<div>We need your support to help Ukrainians. As a community, we are aiming to raise $30 million dollars. Every donation, no matter the size, will make a difference in the lives of those affected. <strong>Please join us today by donating and sharing this fundraiser with your friends, family, and communities. </strong>We stand with Ukraine.
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<div><strong><em>About GoFundMe.org</em></strong>
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<div><em>GoFundMe.org is a 501(c)(3) public charity (EIN 81-2279757). Its mission is to provide fast and effective relief to victims of disaster, and to fund education and other charitable initiatives. Donations for this fund are made to and collected by GoFundMe.org. The charities are identified in the fundraiser with the consent thereof, and GoFundMe.org intends, absent circumstances outside of its control, to grant the donations collected, less transaction fees, to those charities as soon as practicable. All donations are subject to the variance power of GoFundMe.org, as stated in the applicable GoFundMe.org policies (<a href="https://www.gofundme.org/policies/" target="_blank" class="" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://www.gofundme.org/policies/</a>) and, in the unlikely event there is a problem making grants to the charities identified, GoFundMe.org will make grants to the remaining charities. Donations to this fund are tax-deductible to the extent permissible by law.</em>
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<div><strong><em>About Flexport.org</em></strong>
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<div><em>Flexport.org’s mission is to make logistics a positive force for social and environmental impact. Through our technology tools and expertise, we empower companies to decarbonize their supply chains and offer supply chain programs dedicated to mission-driven organizations. Since 2016, Flexport.org has partnered with hundreds of humanitarian aid organizations to deliver over 7.5 million kg of relief supplies to over 60 countries. Shipments funded by the Flexport.org Fund have reached over 100 million people around the world.</em>
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<div><strong><em>About Airbnb.org</em></strong>
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<div><em>Airbnb.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to facilitating temporary stays for people in times of crisis around the world. Airbnb.org operates independently and leverages Airbnb, Inc.’s technology, services, and other resources at no charge to carry out Airbnb.org’s charitable purpose. The inspiration for Airbnb.org began in 2012 with a single host named Shell who opened up her home to people impacted by Hurricane Sandy. This sparked a movement and marked the beginning of a program that allows Hosts on Airbnb to provide stays for people in times of need. Since then, the program has evolved to focus on emergency response and to help provide stays to evacuees, relief workers, refugees, asylum seekers, and most recently, frontline workers fighting the spread of COVID-19. Since then, Hosts have offered to open up their homes and helped provide accommodations to 100,000 people in times of need. Airbnb.org is a separate and independent entity from Airbnb, Inc. Airbnb, Inc. does not charge service fees for Airbnb.org supported stays on its platform.</em>
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Stand With Ukraine

<div>With an extremely broken heart we regret to update all who have been touched by Diane, that on the evening of November 16, as Diane was taking her daughter Addison to soccer, the unimaginable happened. We lost Diane in a tragic car accident and Addison and Reagan continue to recover from injuries both physically and mentally.
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<div>Scott and Diane met in 1994 and have been married since 1998. They have a relationship that is cherished and envied by so many. Diane’s pride and joy was being a mom to her two beautiful girls Addison (age 12) and Reagan (age 6). Diane was the primary financial provider for the family and with her gone, Scott now has the immeasurable task of being the sole provider and primary caregiver of this beautiful family.
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<div>With your donation the family will have the means to memorialize and celebrate Diane’s life while also having the financial support to tackle the future expenses to raising and caring for two young children.
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<div>Please remember to keep Scott, Addison, and Reagan and their extended family and friends in your thoughts and prayers. And, live your life with kindness and gratitude each and every day, because you simply do not know when it may be your last.<br /><br /><img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/61313267_1637197839285018_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" alt="61313267_1637197839285018_r.jpeg" />
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Support the Tragic Loss of Diane Marx

<img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/52008416_1603248185865330_r.jpeg" alt="52008416_1603248185865330_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" /><img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/52008416_1603248235168231_r.jpeg" alt="52008416_1603248235168231_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" /><br />Hello.  <br /><br />My Name is Caleb Wallace, and I am raising money to build an outdoor lounge area for teachers.  Before I explain my project, let me tell you a little about myself.  I have been in Scouting for the past 9 years.  That’s me in the picture when I was a Cub Scout with that giant fish.  Today, I am at the final stage of becoming an Eagle Scout.  An Eagle Scout is the highest achievement or rank attainable in the Boy Scouts of America program (BSA). This includes an extensive service project that I must plan, organize, lead, and manage. <br /><br />I decided that I would give back to my educators who helped shape my education at Saint Thomas Moore (STM) Catholic Academy.  They are loving teachers who work hard to serve under-privileged scholars in Southeast Washington DC.  As an alumni of STM, and now a junior at Bishop McNamara High School, it’s my desire to give back to the school.<br /><br />My Eagle Scout project converts 650sqft of abandoned space, to a beautiful outdoor area that will allow the teachers to relax and get fresh air while preparing lessons or grading papers.  On November 7th, with the help of 25 volunteers, I will build 2 picnic tables, 2 flower beds, 43ft of new wood railing, paint 150ft of existing railing &amp; wall, and 30 cubic ft of mulch and gravel placement.  In addition, I will install eet of sod with topsoil and plant many shrubs, flowers and evergreens to absorb water run-off.<br /><br />Finally, Scouting has taught me so much.  From starting a campfire to administering first aid but more importantly, it taught me to treat the earth with care, love God and country and do good to all people.  Becoming an Eagle Scout has been my goal for many years and with your financial assistance, you will help me achieve that goal.  <br /><br />Thank you for your support!<br /><br />Caleb Wallace<br />Life Scout

Eagle Scout Service Project

My landlord sold our house forcing us out of our home. I lost my job. We are living in a motel in one small income.  Here's the link of our story from the New York times if you like to read now.<br /><br /><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/08/business/economy/lost-unemployment-benefits.html?referringSource=articleShare" target="_blank" class="" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/08/business/economy/lost-unemployment-benefits.html?referringSource=articleShare</a>

Help with motel charges and food

<strong>**UPDATE MESSAGE** 6/9/2020 - From Roxie Washington and Gianna Floyd - "Thank you so much for the outpouring of love and support. We understand that people are wanting to send cards, pictures, or any gifts for my baby. We appreciate that. Because of the outpouring of love and support felt around the world, we are proud to announce a foundation that we have created where supporters can send what they feel from the heart..."<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />**UPDATE MESSAGE** 6/3/2020 - Please note that THIS is the only legal Gianna Floyd GoFundMe page on the site. We are working with GoFundMe to have other GoFundMe pages in Gianna's name shut down IMMEDIATELY. Please note that the Family of Gianna Floyd is working with their legal counsel (Stewart Trial Attorneys) in setting up this GoFundMe page. Her legal counsel takes ZERO percent of funds raised. All money that is donated will be placed in a trust for Gianna and her mother. We appreciate the outpouring of love and support that has been felt around the world.  <br /><br />This is the official GoFundMe established in George Floyd's honor to help provide for the needs of his 6-year-old daughter Gianna Floyd</strong>. Because of her father’s tragic murder due to police brutality, Gianna will now go through life without her dad. In addition, their family has lost their provider, and will no doubt suffer financial hardship after this tragic loss.<br /><br />As a community, we want to come together in this time of need and assist Gianna’s mother, Roxie Washington, by donating whatever we can to help provide mental and grief counseling for George Floyd’s youngest child, lodging and travel for all court proceedings, and to assist Roxie (Gianna's mother) in providing for their child’s continued well-being and education.<br /> <br />"Our hearts are overwhelmed with gratitude and we ask that you think of Gianna and the rest of our family as we suffer through this great loss. "  - Roxie<br /><br />100% of funds will go to Gianna’s care and future.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />GoFundMe account managed by Tiffany Lee of <strong>Stewart Trial Attorneys</strong> on behalf of Roxie Washington.<br /><br /><img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/48477062_1591129794833252_r.jpeg" alt="48477062_1591129794833252_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" /><img src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/48477062_1591129819760760_r.jpeg" alt="48477062_1591129819760760_r.jpeg" width="100%" media_type="3" />

OFFICIAL Gianna Floyd Fund (George Floyd's child)

Emerald City Football Club

On July 27th, 2015, Deb Cottrill - an Atlanta local 2nd camera assistant - was injured while unloading the camera truck on the set of Sleepy Hollow.  A truck that was pulling a generator ran over her leg, causing it to get pinned beneath the wheel of the generator.  Her leg is broken in 3 places.  She is expected to have up to a year or more of recovery time, which may mean not being able to get back out working on set again until then.  <br /><br />If you work in the film industry, this could have happened to any of us.  It would be amazing if we could work together to help out one of our own while she recovers from this work related injury.  <br /><br />If you do not work in the film industry, or do not know Deb personally, please know that film work is an extremely physical job that would be very difficult, if not impossible, to do with a broken leg.  This will result in a loss of major income for Deb while she is having to recover.  <br /><br />Any donation would be helpful for giving Deb an additional support system to help cover medical expenses and any other inevitable expenses that life brings (rent, bills, groceries, etc.). Thank you!

Deb Cottrill's Support Fund

Hi. I'm KillerMartinis. <br><br>If you are here on this page, <a href="http://killermartinis.kinja.com/why-i-make-terrible-decisions-or-poverty-thoughts-1450123558">it's because of this</a>. That's the essay that started people talking about poverty in a way that we don't often see. People have told me that it made them cry and think and understand and talk about what it is that millions of Americans experience as daily reality. And that's why I wrote it: so that people could understand a little about what it is to live on the margins.<br><br>It...for someone who is briefly famous on the Internet for having the right words about a thing, I can find none here. You have no reason to do this. None at all. I am not a particularly deserving person. I have made mistakes out of desperation and fear and because I am not a particularly good or bad person, but entirely average. And I have tried to balance my mistakes by actively doing good things, because while I am not a believer in God I do at least see that it is about doing your best. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't. And so when you see me misstep or stumble please keep in mind that I am simply doing the best I can with what I have. <br><br><br>At this point, enough people are asking that I will tell you about myself, because I am getting a lot of the same questions. I was raised middle class, by a factory worker and a teacher. They are my grandparents, and they are Mom and Dad. But I was given to them after I had lived with an overwhelmed mother and a father away in the Navy, and Mom has always been convinced that I suffered terrible emotional issues because of my very early years. And so we embarked on a lifetime of therapy, which is where I picked up my knack for introspection. I was literally raised to it. I have memories of playing games on the office floor of a beautiful woman named Kerrie while we talked about my day and how I felt. There were others, but she is my favorite. <br><br><br>During the course of therapy, they tested my IQ. You have to understand that it isn't actually terribly impressive. It is higher than average, to be sure. But my mother grew up quite poor in Detroit and she is very impressed by these things and so she decided that I was a genius. And she nurtured it. She is a teacher. I was given music lessons and she learned languages with me. I have no aptitude for dance or art, but we tried those too. I was in competitions when I was five, and they lasted until college. And so that is how I know how to talk to people who are in the upper middle class. Because I got a partial scholarship to Cranbrook but we couldn't afford the other half. But my parents knew damn well what Cranbrook was and they were determined that I would have a chance at it. They gave up much to send me to private schools. Not expensive ones, I went to a small religious elementary. They taught me much about Satan and also had strict academic standards for the ten kids or so in every grade. <br><br><br>If you are old enough, you will recall that there was a time in the late 80s and early 90s in which Donahue was talking about the secret satanic sex cults that were a plague in private daycare centers, because of course. My mom had just bought a daycare. It was her dream. But as it turned out, there was a child being sexually abused that was under her care. It was just happening at home instead of at the school. The kid's mom couldn't believe that her new husband would do such a thing, and so she called everyone. Everyone. This is not the first time in my life reporters have been on the line when I picked up the phone. It's just that the last time this happened I was eight. It was a nightmare, and it was one of those things that went fucking viral. Not in reach, but in ridiculousness. Children actually told grownups that my mother had tried to shoot them with a gun she kept in her desk and so they got the other gun and shot her in the arm. And the adults believed this. My mother, quite reasonably, promptly went completely nuts. We suddenly left Michigan and moved to Utah. And so that is why stability and trust are not things that I have easily. I was taught to be ready, to be wary, to be mistrustful, because the world is a hard place.<br><br><br>And that is how the real troubles started. My parents found solace in the local religion. I was wearing flannel and listening to grunge. My mother was not a rational person most of the time. It is why I am willing to reason with unreasonable people. And what you have to realize is that I was very young and my world was spinning too. I could not understand that she was overwhelmed. I only saw her battening the hatches and driving me into perfection and going ballistic if I fucked the slightest thing up with the best of intentions. I was a teenager, but one dealing with parents who were barely holding themselves together. It was hell for everybody involved. And so I worked very hard at excelling and I graduated highschool when I was sixteen and I went away, as far away as I could get, to college. That is how I know how to make it on my own.<br><br><br>And I promptly made the sorts of decisions you would expect out of a kid that age with low self-esteem and no social skills and access to what I saw as the cool kids who saw me as an intelligent kid sister and were willing to include me in things. I didn't make it long.<br><br><br>I spent some time bouncing in and out of school and joined my first political campaign. It was amazing. And so I went for it. I moved all over the country and chased jobs and found that I was never quite a good fit, because I never have fit in anywhere entirely. And when it wasn't campaign season I worked pretty much whatever I could find. It's not high pay compared to relative expense until you're pretty well-established, particularly if you are not good with money. I was poor in the way that most people who do not have resources are when they are young and idealistic. I didn't mind it much. I thought it would end when I was ready. And so that is how I know things about media and framing and what sort of good I can do and how to pick stories out of shared experience.<br><br><br>And then I was hit by a drunk driver, fucked up my teeth, and took the insurance check before I realized that it meant they would not be covering dental, thankyouverymuch. I was nineteen, I think. I simply trusted what I was told by the people in authority. I don't think I can be blamed, although I have never been so foolish since. But my teeth kept getting worse. There are a lot of reasons, I have not been gentle on them, but I have at least cleaned them. I know what Crest is. It's just that when teeth crack and are not attended to, they develop problems, which spread no matter what you do unless what you are doing is going to a dentist. Which I could not afford. And as the problem got worse I saw my prospects fade. I understand it. I would make the same call. Many people think I am simply too dumb to know how to brush my teeth. Whether or not that is true, it is not a first impression on behalf of a candidate or company that you can give. And so that is where the slide started.<br><br>During this time I was simply spinning around the world and hoping to make sense of my life. I struggle with things sometimes. I do not know why, whether it's inherent or whether my mother is right or whether what happened to my mother is what did it. But sometimes the world seems suddenly bizarre and I have to practice a strict control in order to behave as though the world were real. I have seen many therapists. I know what it is. I can't afford the medicine, and so I have learned simply to control it because it is not the worst case in the world. But it took me a lot of years to figure out how to function properly. And I am often depressed because I am intelligent enough to see that I have much to give if I could figure out a way to do it. Those things are what I struggle against and why I have made many demonstrably bad decisions in my life, because I had lost the fight with myself. And so that is how I kept sliding even when I had all the potential in the world. I simply had too much life to process. Mental illness is a common thing in the world I live in.<br><br><br>And that is the answer to the question many of you have asked. How is it that someone with such clarity and evocation has any right to assert that they are poor? It is likely untrue. Well, it is and it isn't. You have to understand that the piece you read was taken out of context, that I never meant to say that all of these things were happening to me right now, or that I was still quite so abject. I am not. I am reasonably normally lower working class. I am exhausted and poor and can't make all my bills all the time but I reconciled with my parents when I got pregnant for the sake of the kids and I have family resources. I can always make the amount of money I need in a month, it's just that it doesn't always match the billing cycles.<br><br><br>When I got pregnant, we were in a typical lower-working-class bit of fuckuppery. We had moved to a city so my husband could go to school on his GI bill. But due to some sort of oversight, we never did start getting the living stipend that we had budgeted for. We had decided that my career was over and it was his turn, so instead of looking for work in the field I loved, I took a job in fast food. So did he. We saved two pay periods and got the cheapest apartment we could find, figuring that we would be getting the stipend soon and could move someplace better when we did. And the checks didn't come for five months. I eventually reached out to legislator's offices and they got the wheels turning. We would get a lump sum for what was due us. I was well along and while I had medicaid, I couldn't find anyone accepting new patients except a charity clinic that told me that Jesus wanted me to keep my baby but had very little information for me about the state of my uterus. So instead of missing a day of work to hear about Jesus, I got books and read websites and did what I could on my own. Women have been pregnant for thousands of years and humanity seems to be doing okay. And I am smart. And then our apartment flooded and we still didn't have the check and then suddenly everything that we had carefully saved for this baby was gone. We had two feet of water in the place. We went back to the motel, which at least did not have bedbugs. In Cincinnati, that's a big deal. But the cost was double our rent, and we had barely been floating when we had clothes and things, much less nothing and extra rent to pay. And the frustrating thing about it all was that we had done the fucking thing correctly. We would have had more than enough money for a decent apartment and baby things if we had been getting our stipend, the one we were contractually due. And so that is how I know what it is to rage at the universe because you are doing everything you can and it is still not enough. <br><br><br>When my parents came to be there for the birth and they saw what we were dealing with they moved us to Utah and gave us a trailer to live in. And then when we had our second and final daughter they helped us find a house to live in and now we have some space for once. That is the sort of person I am. I chased dreams that I couldn't afford for longer than was strictly necessary, and only gave that up when children made life suddenly more stable. But fate is a chancy thing, and I am after all perfectly suited to write about poverty. I have been privileged while poor, because I am fucked up and spent decades in therapy, because I have been given access to these words, I am well-suited to this. I do not speak for everyone that makes the same amount I do. I speak for many of us. Those are different, and I do not confuse them. I did not think that I would ever do better than scrape by, but I am managing that without relying on charity. <br><br><br>I have had much luck and many breaks. Things could always have been much worse for me. But I have lived in the places where the worst situations are dealt with. I have seen what it is to be worse off than I am, because I am white and all of my class markers are fixable because I did not develop them as part of my being and my mental problems are not so severe and I do not live with a disability and my parents were kind and loving and just didn't know what to do. Because I happen to have been given this outlet I am telling these stories. Some are mine, some are things I have seen. All are a mix of luck and strength and intentions and failure and success. Very few people in this world are saintlike. Most people who are poor have not gotten there faultless. I didn't. And so I am talking about the people who are of average moral character, not the ones who have a clearly obvious leaning toward evil or good. The people I speak for are not the ones shooting each other, but everyone damn well knows what it sounds like when those people visit. And they are likely to hustle and make the most of every chance, because that is what success is. Coming up with enough money that you are comfortable is the real American dream, and it is one that the people I am used to don't believe in as much as hope hard for. I have spent my life on the margins due to my own actions and an equal amount of things that I cannot control. One does not negate the other, but if you are looking for a paragon of virtue you will not find many among the people who have had to decide whether to work in a morally dubious establishment or not work at all.<br><br><br>When people say that I am perhaps not legitimate, it is maybe sort of true if you mean that when I was at the low points I did not have time for blogs and since I do now I am not at the bottom. That is a true thing. But it is untrue if you mean that you think that because I have some knowledge of and access to an intellectual culture higher than my station I must be the average Gawker or Times reader. I am not. There are a lot of us, particularly since the economy collapsed and, well, you read the same news I do. You remember. We remember what it is to be professional a little bit and we have a few close friends who have done well for themselves and a few that haven't. My closest friends are both living with family. One has chased work all over the country and just can't seem to find the right door for her foot. One is a single mom of a severely autistic teenaged daughter who has hocked her future to put herself through grad school. And all of it while supporting her family and spotting friends if they were desperate. They are the ones who have done everything correctly. I just happen to have this skill to tell the stories. I didn't even know it until last week.<br><br><br>The point is, I did not ask for any of this. I just wrote a thing on a Gawker forum. Everything that has come after is because something about the way I said it has resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. Everything that has come after is magic. I do not know if it is earned, precisely, but I am familiar with the concept of grants, and if people are determined I would be remarkably stupid to turn it down. I have learned not to make promises that I am not certain I can keep, and so here is what I have:<br><br><br>This is a shot at a second start, now that I have gotten over myself and understand what it is to be an adult. I have always had great potential and some talent for things. I am lucky that way. I have the tools that I need to take this gift and do good things with it. I think that even if everything ends tonight, if the Internet finds another talent in some corner and moves on, I have done something good here. That makes me happy. That people are willing to reward me for that is humbling, and I consider it a grant to give me the time to keep speaking about these things I have seen, because I am the sort of person who reads Woodward and Stiglitz and also the sort of person who has lived with three prostitutes who were  great because they always paid the rent on time. I can explain one to another, a little. At least I can shed a tiny bit of light on it, and maybe that is how we manage to get the votes we need to extend SNAP benefits if we can afford to extend agricultural subsidies. Because I know those policies, I watch politics and policy instead of pop culture because I am a nerd, but my best friends are directly impacted by that change. And so I can speak about the human impact. I do not think, overall, that people are giving me this money because they feel poorly for me. There are a lot of fundraisers that are unfunded of people in much more dire circumstances.<br><br><br>I set up a fundraiser after the first fifty people asked how they could help me write. I think that people are giving me this money because they think I can do a good thing and they do not care so much about how I got here because they understand that it is easy to do. Not that it is good, but that it is average. I think that they are giving me this because they see that I have the skill and will be able to do something to help. I am not stupid enough to not take this shot. But I would like to tell you how I am going to handle it.<br><br><br>First, I have been contacted by an agent and am writing a book proposal. If I manage to sell the book, it will reach people I could not on my own. If it doesn't sell, I will have a rough outline of something that I can publish for free on the Internet. I will write about these things on my blog. Because people have given me this money to write.<br><br><br>Be very clear about this, please: I am quitting one of my day jobs. The one that is an hour's drive through snow in the mountains. And I have actually nailed a bigger contract with my second job, which pays better hourly anyway. This has given me the tiny break I needed to be able to make it without utter exhaustion. I will use the extra time to sleep more than I am used to. I will see my kids more because now I can work from home, and so our budget is expanded because childcare is not an issue. Tom is keeping his job. This is all magic and wonderful, but it is fleeting. We have learned and are careful now. And we have more than us two relying on us taking this oddity and using it wisely.<br><br><br>And so I will accept with gratitude, and I will give this money to tax lawyers to deal with and I will use it as long as I can to speak about these things I have seen, since that is why it has been given to me. I will not waste it on frivolity, but I will spend it on being healthy and making sure that if one of us gets the flu the electric bill is still paid. And I am giving some away, because many people have helped us and I think they need some magic. I am an arbitrary pick out of millions of hardworking and talented people. People had raised some money for dental surgery. I am grateful, but have found someone to give it to given my changing circumstances. I will pay a bill or two to the people who have loved me that are struggling. I might take a thousand just to do things like get a really comfy blanket that fits the bed perfectly. I am being told that it is wisest in my situation to simply pick a small bit and that is what you have to spend. That makes a lot of sense. So I will have a bit of luxury, because if nothing else I have spent endless hours on the Internet discussing these things and being patient with trolls and I have earned a small bit, I think. <br><br><br>I will say that I will always speak about this in any medium or venue that I can access. For some reason I have this chance to explain realities that a lot of people never imagine, and I will do it at every opportunity. That is all that I can promise you, but I think it is enough.

Poverty Thoughts - In Book Form  

John Grillo

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