Trans/Non-Binary HRT and Surgery

I am a Non-Binary Transgender person, which means that i don't fit neatly into either of the two gender categories that are assigned to people at birth, and that I wish to be recognized as something other than the gender category that was assigned to me.

I have been for the last several years unable to complete the online application for Medicaid or receive any other medical insurance, and because of this I have been living with untreated depression, OCD, and dysphoria resultant from my continuing existence within a body that terrifies and disgusts me. I have known since the moment I was born what Body Horror means, and have lived in relative isolation due to persistent depersonalization/derealization.

I have also known the fear of rejection and abandonment. I never told my family anything for fear of being rejected by them and being seen as the serial killer those hapless hicks associated with people like me. I was afraid of my mother and grandfather's paranoid delusion that I was molested as a child; that they would assume my identity the result of such a fiction. And I was right to fear these things, because every other day I hear my once beloved grandfather talk about Donald Trump and my mother ask me once again if I was molested by my step-father.

I don't know what else to do, or where to turn. I can't hold down a job for more than a few months at a time before I can't remember my own name anymore and can't think about anything but bad memories and hanging myself. What I need most right now is some money for Hormone Replacement Therapy and, hopefully, top and bottom surgery to alter my structure and remove my aberrant organs.