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The Outlier Medical Fund

$15,344 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 111 people in 13 months
Dear Reader,

I didn't realize when I logged on today that it's a year to the day since I created this fund.  So much has happened since then: two more rounds of chemo, with limited effect on the tumors, no effect on the underlying disease process, and increasingly difficult side effects, and eventually the recognition that I was not able to get ahead of the disease while working, even with changes in job duties, reduced hours, and intermittent, short, medical leaves.  I am currently adjusting to being on indefinite medical leave, making my health and healing the top priority for really the first time.

It's a strange feeling, and I am aware of how much I want to find a way to earn a living that is fully congruent with remaining healthy. In the meantime, until I find that path, I am asking for your help again.  Over the summer I used the remainder of the funds you've already donated, and tapped into my savings to fund my move to live with my parents.   I adjusted my total goal to $20,000, or roughly another $8000, which would help keep me afloat for another few months. I hope during that time to find way to go work in some way--your generosity in allowing me to continue the treatments I attribute to keeping me alive and healthy (this picture was taken last week), active tumors notwithstanding , means more to me than I can tell you. 
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Dear Ones, I am so deeply grateful for the outpouring of love and support you've given me, through this platform and in so many other ways! I know that 2018 is going to bring more opportunities and decisions about this ongoing process of healing myself and clarifying the best ways to use my life to serve the whole. It would be deeply satisfying to finish out the year by reaching my original goal-- it's tantalizingly close!

Thank you all, and may the coming year bring blessings and miracles to us all!
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Greetings,

There are many things I am grateful for, and chief among them at the moment is you all, and your generous donations. My daily level of background anxiety has dropped massively, I no longer get flashes of panic when I pay for something, and that relief is as valuable to my health and well-being as the treatments your donations are currently supporting.

Even more than usual, I am turning inward this season; the chemo is helping reduce the tumor mass, I'm sure of it, but the underlying question of what it will take for my body to heal completely remains (and I am increasingly confident that it really is possible, in principle, for me), and I'm both doing research and carving out more time to sit quietly and reflect. I'm mostly feeling curiosity about the question these days--somewhere along the line, some of the panicky franticness that I have to figure it out in some rational way dropped away, which is a huge relief, and I think attributable both to your donations and to my own ongoing efforts to drop narratives and patterns that don't serve me.

I wish all the blessings of the season to each of you--may the coming year bring peace, clarity, healing, and great love to us all!

Amy
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Here are a couple of pictures that show my eyes, for those friends I haven’t met yet.
Summer 2016
At the Lord Jeffrey Inn
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Hi, friends. I’m just catching up on a bunch of emails from people confused about my original appeal. So sorry, and I hope this helps answer the most common questions.

The purpose of this appeal was threefold: to update people on the state of my health, or in some cases, possibly to the fact that I am still alive. The state of my health is as it has been: I have stage four colon cancer, and am feeling astonishingly healthy otherwise.

Another purpose was to allow people who want to help and either don’t know how or aren’t close enough to offer in-person support a way to do something. Local friends will continue to have opportunities to sign up for in-person help on CaringBridge.com (amybrookNY).

And the final purpose was to practice putting myself and my words out there in a small way, both to increase my capacity to take rejection and criticism about things that are important to me, but also to experiment with, and I’m struggling to find a non-cliched way to put this, opening to support and abundance in a different way.

Thank you to all who have contributed, and to all those who might. I’m thinking about ways to use any funds collected in excessive of my needs—a way to share both what helps and the resources to take advantage of it with others fighting serious illness... To be continued!
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$15,344 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 111 people in 13 months
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AH
$20
Aimee Harper
1 month ago
TB
$200
Tina & Mike Brook
1 month ago
$600
Anonymous
1 month ago
AH
$100
amy houston
1 month ago
$500
Anonymous
1 month ago
SA
$100
Sara Anllo
1 month ago
$200
Robin Kojima
1 month ago
AR
$100
Anu Ramakrishnan
1 month ago
$210
Anonymous
1 month ago
NC
$50
Nicole Chumsky
1 month ago
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