When kindness saves a life
The story below *** details the beginning of this gofundme campaign. Since early 2016 YOUR GREAT LOVE has provided access to four major brain and spine surgeries with very specialized neurosurgeons for Danica and I. For me there was a life changing VP brain shunt in April, 2016 at UVA, a huge spinal fusion of C1-T1 in October, 2016 in Maryland, and a VP shunt revision in April, 2017 at UVA. In November of last year Danica had a dangerous hardware removal and refusion of her skull to C4. I also received chemotherapy treatments every six weeks during this time, and we made many trips back and forth to our far away doctors for scans and follow-ups. Without your giving we never could have accessed this level of care. Just the travel and hotels, especially post surgery, compounded by the deposits and high deductibles would have made these surgeries impossible.
We suffer gratitude. We offer praise. We never once have taken YOUR SACRIFICES for granted.
During my trip to Maryland week before last, when I saw for myself on my MRI that my spinal cord has retethered and understood this meant there was a real reason for my increasing pain and disability of particularly my legs and feet, I also had to step into a room with a financial person to look at an existing balance with my nerosurgeon and the new deposit for this November surgery. Why is this the hardest part? I just couldn't bear to ask one more time. Dan couldn't bear for us to be receiving one more time.
I went with a few thousand dollars gifted from others to try and "settle" the past amount for about half of what I owed. Instead they suggested I put it towards the new deposit that must be paid for the upcoming surgery by October 24th and then setting up a payment plan after this surgery for the remaining.
My counselor encouraged me to "ask." My sister suggested she start a new campaign because this one looked like our need was met. I've prayed. We've prayed. We are transparent before you. This is our need. God is faithful. He will provide. We will give Him the glory.
My November 8th surgery with take 3-4 hours. I will be in the hospital at least three days lying flat to prevent any spinal fluid leaks. I must remain in the area in a hotel for 7-10 days after discharge before a post-op appointment and permission to return home. Because he is removing a vertebrae to detether the spinal cord at a higher level than before and then replacing and fusing it with bone marrow harvested from my hip I will have to keep my spine completely straight for at least a month. This means bed rest with a brace. Dan plans to take off work the first week and be with me during surgery and the days in the hospital, but I will need a caregiver once I'm released to the hotel and more help when I return home. Please pray for this. Please pray for my family, especially our Danica. She is having periods of great anxiety about my surgery and me being gone. Delaney is more resilient but longing for an extended period of time for our family to just "be." Dan is a saint. He has been working seven days a week lately and comes home to do all he can to keep me from stretching and injuring my cord any worse. He is tired. He does each next thing while loving the girls and I so well. Please pray for my heart and for my body. I want to quit. I am so weary of the fight.
Please pray for me as I try to navigate even out of network coverage from my insurance company. I've received two denials for special MRIs done in Maryland. I am submitting letters today showing the massive out of pocket expenses I've incurred, particularly the deposits but also the travel and hotels, since 2011. These are in addition to in network deductibles, our large out of network deductibles and out of pocket maximum which for our family is $24,500! This is just an example of how we will never pay all our bills. Your love to us helps us see these specialized doctors who have committed their lives to those of us with EDS.
Thank you. We are amazed how God brings the ones who have walked this very long road with us since the beginning and completely new love to be enough...more than enough for each next challenge. Thank you for praying and sharing our story.
Our Hope Remains.
***My heart's cry for 2016 was for one year without having surgery and without "asking" for anything. Just one year. I pleaded with God to write something new for our family. His answer is clear. Be faithful here. Endure here. Surrender here. I'm doing something for your good and my glory. Trust me, child.
The money you all helped us raise this spring which you see in the total so far allowed for me to travel to UVA in Charlottesville, Virginia and have a third failed lumbar shunt removed and a ventricular shunt placed near my brain. It has given me the most relief from headaches and pressure I can remember and restoration of my sight and hearing on the right side. YOUR LOVE did this. Thank you.
Your donations have also helped us make three big trips to Cincinnati with our Danica with lots of imaging. The first was over spring break, before my shunt surgery. We found out her hardware and one level of her fusion is broken. In July we traveled back to scan again and saw the hardware is moving and closer to her brain which is dangerous. We took another trip in August to meet the new ortho sugeon and neurosurgeon assigned to Danica's difficult case and discuss the necessary surgery. We left conflicted about their lack of experience and vague scope of surgery. At the very same time I pursued an opinion from a very respected neurosurgeon who was just moving to Johns Hopkins. His expertise in the cranial cervical junction is exactly what Danica's rare case needs. After reviewing all her images and entire history and past op reports he called to let me know he was willing to take her case. We feel very sure God has led us to this difficult surgical decision even thought it means navigating an entirely new hospital system, networks of doctors and care, not to mention a new city. Danica's surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, November 30th, at Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore, Maryland. It will involve several days of pre-op testing including an invasive myelogram, a long 6+ hour neurosurgery including taking part of her little rib to make the best fusion material possible, a few days in the ICU and a week after in the hospital. We may need to stay close for post-op or have to travel back and forth.
Less than three weeks ago, on October 19th in Lanham, Maryland, I had an unplanned major spinal surgery that involved removal of hardware from last summer's lower cervical fusion, aspiration of marrow from my hip to make new fusion material and a rod being placed from my C2 all the way to my T1 to save my spinal cord which was under pressure from vertebrae at several levels. I am struggling with basic recovery. I cannot drive and do not know when or if this will happen. I am healing and the relief from the constant spinal cord pressure is very real.
Your quick love met needs for a deposit and out of pocket costs for a very sudden surgery. We were down to the last night when I was packing and a friend called with Hilton and Marriott points to share and help cover the several thousand dollars of hotel costs. God always provides a ram in the thicket!
Over the next week I will be adding information here about our specific needs and how you can pray and help. I have a trusted friend who has offered to help coordinate. As always you can give here and know the money goes directly to travel and medical needs.
We suffer gratitude for your faithful love and prayers for us these long years. "For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many." II Corinthians 1:8-11
"YOU helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through MANY."
Your prayers. Your gifts. Your thanks to God for all the good He's done and requests for the good He is sure to accomplish . . . You are working out God's deliverance in our lives.
We inhale as we ask in faith.
Two silly words that could never emote the depths of our gratitude as we exhale praise.
Our Hope Remains.
(Subscribe for updates over on my blog .)
"We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.
We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.
We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—
Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.
Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:
Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.
You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me
What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made
Something greater from the difference."--Alberto Rios
(This family photo was taken by Jani Hershberger at Home Again Flowers the night before we flew west. )
I'm sitting in my bed at the hospital in Hershey, Pennsylvania. My shunt revision Monday was a success. The neurosurgeon ran a line from my groin through my heart which opened up a lot of space in my abdomen to ease the pain from all the tubing.
Thank you for all your prayers and gifts. Over the next two weeks I need to balance healing and also the hundred things that need done to leave Ohio and move to Tucson. I need supernatural strength and peace. There is need and several mountains in our way, but when I see God's providence and provision I know He will make the way. He is making the way. Bless each one of you for your faithful love to us. Our Hope remains.
I have seen the thick curtain drop, and sunlight die;
My voice has echoed back, a foolish voice,
The prayer restored intact to its silly source.
I have walked in darkness, He hung in it.
In all of my mines of night, He was there first;
In whatever dead tunnel I am lost, He finds me.
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
From His perfect darkness a voice says, I have not.”–Chad Walsh
Two weeks ago I sat on the North Carolina coast with the sun in my face, the clean ocean air filling my head and my heart and my bare feet grounded in the sand. I was without pain. It was the perfect and oh so rare cocktail of environment, weather and wellness gifted to me a few days during our family vacation. I didn’t take a minute for granted. I scribbled in my journal all the beautiful things that flow from the kind of hope born in pure light. Mary Oliver’s words echoed in the ebb and flow of the waves, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
...We flew back into Cleveland in pouring rain. My head felt like it would explode. It’s been hurting since. The past week has been a testing of everything I’ve said about not cutting my brain open again. I’ve tried every possible treatment. I went to the ER Saturday and asked for IV meds which only took an edge off the constant debilitating pressure. I’ve hid in my cool, dark room and cried out to my God. I’ve been in touch with my neurosurgeon who suggests a large volume lumbar puncture to remove fluid and provide some relief and also give information about a shunt failure. I would have to travel to Pennsylvania for this. I believe I am not supposed to have another surgery.
I received an email from the realtor in Tucson last night. The community we would love to live in is releasing their first lots. There is an opportunity to build a small home with a suite where family could stay or we could host EDS warriors who need to know there is a place they could heal and feel more well. This has been a dream of mine since I began traveling to Tucson. The retreat only reinforced this desire to minister to others in such an intimate and life changing way. In my desperation I wanted to delete the email. I couldn’t even get out of bed. How in the world would we ever make it to Tucson now?
I had a Toradol injection yesterday and began a medication that has helped in the past when my shunt has failed. I am trying to write this clunky post while I can.
My life doesn’t seem wild or precious at all. The long hours curled up in the dark feel like wasted time. What are my days worth?
I spent time with a wise counselor this morning. She has walked every step of this journey with my family and I for so many years. She’s seen the medical costs that could have bought a half dozen homes. She’s seen me heal and even blossom on trips to Arizona and regress when I return. She knows my complete devotion to and admiration for the man who has loved and served my family and I through a decade of doing the faithful and sacrificial next thing. She championed the purpose that grew from my pain and became Option EDS – the retreat. She understands this particular hurt is the one kind of suffering that brings me to the utter end of myself and makes me want to disappear. She believes I am supposed to stay. Today she reminded me of what’s been possible, because we’ve been vulnerable enough to admit we could never do this on our own and then humbly ASKED. This has been no easy thing. Especially for my Dan.
You all have been invested in our story from the very first blog post on Team Danica. You’ve prayed and encouraged and supported and loved us into miracles. This is big. We are ever grateful. I cannot even begin to imagine how God will do this new thing. But I’m asking you to pray. Plead with us for a way in the wilderness. I want the story to have some kind of restoration, celebration, land of milk and honey resolution here in this life. It may not come. But the changing of our hearts day by day and the healing of our eyes to really see Him and know Him is preparation for the eventual total healing of my body and our souls forever and ever. This is Grace. Our Hope is built on nothing less.
In my crying out today I echo the voice of the one who endured the ultimate suffering for me. We share the same Father who has a perfect plan for our good and His glory.
I feel forsaken. I am not.
I believe. Help my unbelief.
“For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.”–Romans 11:36 www.MonicaKayeSnyder.com
as soon as we get paid I am going to donate. I am a friend of Christy Baileys and I also have two shunts one VP and one LP so get a little of where you are coming from. You are a brave beautiful woman. Good luck!
I don't know why it misses me, but when the Lord places you on my heart the most intense I pray but don't realize you are most likely struggling. I guess since there hasn't been posts I assumed that you were doing well. You are always in my prayers but most often when He urges me and thoughts of you are constant. If there is anything Geo and I can do for you, Dan or the girls, please, please let us know. Often Satan "steals" our peace when we are weak - praying for your faith to remain strong as He is FAITHFUL! Maybe re-read the book by Jerry Bridges, Trusting God to remember His promises. We love you and will pray specifically.
Monica, it was special to finally meet you face to face. I will be praying for the big move... God has gone before you!
Monica, you inspire me so much! Praying for the comfort and peace of God to penetrate the pain and for renewed hope and strength. Holding you close and I know that our Jesus is holding you every moment. Sending you so much love, dear friend.
so much love to you guys...and prayer...and Hope with a capital "H"...one breath at a time...thank you for sharing your heart openly, sister
Heather called early this morning - you have been on her mind constantly. God uses your situation to bless so many others, first in the opportunity to be in prayer to HIM for you and your family, then in sharing your unbelievable consistent strong faith and reflecting your thoughts and feelings by being vulnerable - giving others courage to do the same. You are an amazing Christian and we are blessed to know you. Luvu and prayers continuously going up
Monica~ Is there anyone who can stand in your place while you and Dan go get some quality sleep?
Praying you all through. Thank you for sharing as I can only imagine. Heather was up most of the night praying for Danica - she couldn't get her off her mind...she called me the first thing this morning. I am sur many others woke up in prayer for your precious child also, and for you and Dan to have strength, peace, energy, and comfort. So many, many people are seeking God's intervention on your behalf - stay strong. love and hugs
Hearing of her pain brings me to tears. I pray God comforts and heals Danica.
Jesus, surround Danica with Your peace and love; give her relief from her pain. We ask that You heal her as only You can. Touch her body and make her whole, strong, healed. Embrace her, embrace her family, wrap them in Your loving arms and give them assurance of Your love tonight. Thank You for Your grace and mercy, for Your faithfulness and love. Amen.
AMEN! THANK YOU JESUS! How blessed to have access to wonderfully talented doctors. Prayers continue for Danica and all of you. hugs/love
Tears of great joy! Continued prayers!!!
Thank you for allowing God to work though us! Sometimes in our busy daily lives we don't feel God's presence every moment of the day. Your faith and love for God in the midst your situation. Your strength comes from the Lord.