Help us finally be together!

I’m taking a risk of looking vulnerable and misunderstood by putting my personal life out there. I’ve learned to keep my personal life quiet, but at this point, I think it’s worth explaining based on comments and reactions I’ve been getting. So here goes my personal stuff and I hope I don’t regret this.

Anyone who has ever known me, knows that I love deeply and that I’d give my everything to someone who deserves it. I don’t blame anyone who has doubts or questions. Honestly, I would too, if I were on the outside looking in. But not everyone experiences the same sort of love as everyone else.

That being said, I have fallen deeply in love with a man, Jon Walters, that I’ve never physically met, who lives in England. How it happened, is still a question I ask myself to this day. I’ve known this man for well over a year. We met on a karaoke app, randomly, and we became instant friends. 

Jon and I continued our friendship through our singing app and we grew closer by the day without realizing how quickly we’ve gotten closer. A long distance relationship with someone I’ve never met was NEVER my intention, let me make that clear. However, singing songs together turned into messaging. Messaging turned into texts. Texts turned into video clips. Video clips turned into phone calls. Phone calls turned into video chats. And before we knew it, we fell for each other.

I was terrified to tell him I was pregnant in fear of how he’d react, and to be honest, in fear of how that would make me look - A pregnant woman with feelings for someone else.. Yeah, I know what that looks like. A couple of months after finding out I was pregnant, I eventually got the nerve to tell him. And to my surprise, he was ecstatic. And we’ve been inseparable ever since.

He’s watched my stomach grow and has been a part of each and every doctor’s appointment from then on out. Ultrasound pictures, sounds of the heartbeat, any and all updates on the baby's growth and my health. He’s been there. He was even on the phone when the baby was born. He’s a huge part of the little one's life, and mine.

I’ve never felt this way towards anyone ever. And I mean, ever. And to be honest, I’m happy I haven’t met him yet. Why? Because I’ve fallen in love with his soul. With his personality. I’ve fallen madly in love with someone for who they are without the distraction of physical contact. And falling in love with someone for who THEY ARE is the foundation for an ever-lasting relationship.

We’ve saved money ourselves. Not much, but enough to get us excited about finally meeting. Our hopes were up and we were ready to start the next step in our relationship. But, as life would have it, unexpected expenses popped up just about every time we made progress. 6 new tires, between the both of us, health insurance going up, daycare costs going up, the loss of a job and gaining a new job that pays less than 50% of the other, money being stolen etc… one step forward, two steps back. We still kept going, and to this day we still try to do it on our own. But the let-downs, one after the other, is emotionally draining and mentally exhausting.

So Jon and I decided to swallow our pride and ask for help. The only way we knew how, was to create a Go Fund Me page. We’ve gotten a few donations and it’s been so amazing to see people share the page and support love. Support our fairytale. But there are still some doubts, negative comments and negative feedback and it’s disheartening, rude and quite frankly, hurtful.

Granted, this is coming out of nowhere for the majority of the people I know. Most of them know nothing about this and I’m sure it could come off as fishy. I get it, I really do. But the reasoning behind me not mentioning Jon, and our ‘unique’ relationship to most of you, is because I expected no one to understand. I expected criticism and judgment. And, not to my surprise, after launching a Go Fund Me page, that’s what we seem to be getting. A lot of you support me, support us, but then there are others who have no faith in the ability to love someone you’ve never touched. No faith in the ability to fall in love with someone’s soul instead of their physical being; no faith in the ability to fall in love with someone’s laugh, someone’s personality. Had I not experienced this sort of love for myself, I probably wouldn’t understand it either. But it’s real. I was married and still never felt this kind of love. Understand it or not, but it’s more real than anything I’ve ever imagined.

That being said, Jon and I are in this for the long haul. And we can’t catch a break when it comes to finances. Plane tickets are absurd, passports prices are insane and time off of work isn’t anything anyone I know can afford without penalty. We’re asking for help because most of live us paycheck to paycheck and are catching up on overdue bills and food for our children, and god forbid people need some extra money for personal satisfaction.

If you know about this, or are finding out for the first time, and still don’t agree, that’s more than ok. No harsh feelings. If you might possibly see the love story here, and believe in fairytales but live beyond your financial means the way we do, trust me I understand. But please share our Go Fund Me even if you don’t donate. I’ve never scammed someone for money in my entire life and I won’t start now. True love isn’t easy and I’ve always known that. I just never knew it was so expensive.

There. Now it's all out in the open.