SOBBS- Support for Bereaved Parents

From the founder of SOBBS and as a mother of a stillborn child thank you so much for taking the time to visit our fundraiser.

SOBBS (Stories of Babies Born Still) is an official, 501c3, non profit and the organizer of the USCCCI (United States Cooperative Caring Campaign Initiative). Our mission is to surround families suffering the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child in love and support while advocating for the bereaved parent's needs. One need we have heard over and over again is the ability to spend time saying goodbye to a baby in a comfortable atmosphere, without being rushed. Since babies are so delicate their physical appearance can change very quickly leaving no time for memory making, pictures, plaster molds of tiny handprints, footprints or extended family members to come and meet the baby before the natural changes that occur in death become more apparent. Historically, hospitals and staff are forced to resort to antiquated, archaic means when supporting parent's requests for more time. They included but are not limited to...

*Chilled Rice bags (Needs to be re-chilled, heavy, temp fluctuates)
*Ice Packs (Melts, causes wetness, needs restocking, temp fluctuates, lacks sensitivity)
*Dry Ice (requires proper ventilation, temp fluctuates) 
*Turning the temp down in the room (makes room uncomfortable) 
*Sending baby to the morgue (interrupts memory making)
*Refrigerators on the unit (lacks sensitivity)
*Coolers in the room (lacks sensitivity)

While each of the above is acceptable when no other resource is available each have operational issues and sensitivity concerns. Now there is a better way. The Caring Cradle. For those not familiar with the Caring Cradle it is an in-room cooling device mounted on a cart. The cooling mechanics are hidden inside the cart body and cooling radiates up from the bottom of the bassinet mounted atop the cart.  The Caring Cradle provides a constant, quiet, un-interrupted environment for families and their baby. In addition, this is an appropriate, dignified, sensitive, intentional environment for families to say goodbye. Research has proven having a unit available to parents while they are in the hospital encourages families to spend time with their baby.  The baby can now stay in the room with the family the entire hospital stay if the family so desires. While we know this might not be for everyone it does allow families a choice. Choices become so very, very important when it seems as if all are taken away, suddenly families go from planning a future to a funeral in the blink of an eye. Every moment spent is a precious gift. As a grieving parent you never know what your heart may need to continue its healing journey weeks, months or even years down the road. Across the board almost every parent we have spoken with wishes they would have spent more time with their baby. All parents who were offered a cooling device were so grateful it was available to them. They credit a cradle's use as a validating, tangible, practical way to begin their mourning and grieving journey. Sadly, not all hospitals are on board yet. Some are but many feel their old way is more cost effective and frankly "good enough." 

SOBBS and this campaign would like to purchase six Caring Cradles to place strategically around the nation. These cradles will be loaned out to families in need. You might be wondering if there really is that great of a need in the US. Every year 26,000 babies are lost to stillbirth in our country alone. This number does NOT include babies lost to miscarriages, SIDS, illness or injury. Last month, two weekends in a row, we were contacted by families in need of a loaner device. These families were preparing to say hello and goodbye to their precious baby.

 Helping us reach our 30k goal will allow us to purchase several units and place them across the nation. We realize this is an ambitious goal. We know there are less expensive, antiquated, alternatives out there but we firmly, passionately, unequivocally believe there is no better humane, empathetic, supportive, sensitive one.

Below are just a few of the over 300 comments we received in response to this project...

“That is amazing!! I know I wish I would have had more time with my son when he was born still 12 years ago!!! What a wonderful Idea this is!” ~ Courtney 

"My husband was over seas when our daughter was stillborn. By the time he arrived two days later she had changed so much. I so wish he would have got to see her the way I did." - Patrice 

"I had surgery immediately following the delivery of my twins. By the time I had returned from recovery the nurses told me my babies has changed so much and it would not be a good idea to see them. The nurses had taken pictures but its just not the same." ~ May

“I think it would provide Bereaved Parents and their family members, additional time spent with their child, during those crucial yet tender moments following the child's passing. The LAST concern a family wants to be faced with is lack of time, due to the baby's bodies state over the course of time. I recall Taylor's leg peeling a little, it tore my heart and we did decide to allow the nurses to take him sooner than we would have liked. I am wondering if this would curb that?” ~ Savannah

"My nurses packed Daniel in ice. It was messy, and his blankets were always getting wet which made his skin worse. I am grateful for the extra time but I wish there was something more appropriate." ~ Carol

“Wish these were available in Australia.” ~ Melissa

“I was the very same, skin on Zaras leg started 2 peel & her nose started 2 bleed i was terrified 2 touch her after a few hours.” ~ Emer

“I wish this had been available for William. I kept him with me overnight and his little body dried out and started to smell. I will never again bad able to see the color purple or smell rotten eggs without remembering that night. I would have done anything to have been able to keep his body another night. It just helps to have as much time as possible to say hello and goodbye.” ~ Carrie

“All hospitals really need to invest in this.” ~ Nneka

“I thought Annaya had been taken down to the morgue when I allowed her to be taken away. She was to be returned to me for her blessing later that afternoon and was purple. She was left in a room alone for 10 hours before being taken down to the morgue. I would have kept her with me had I known she was not being properly cared for. Perhaps, with these devices the medical staff will not insist on taking our babies away.” ~ Beth 

“Would this have allowed me to bring my angel to the hospital I was transferred to after my c-section? I really wish they would have let him go with me....” ~ Alycen

“I'm so amazed with this. I have never heard of it, and I really think this would have been crucial in our healing and our time spent with Kerrigan. Like many others here, her skin quickly deteriorated and I think that caused us to have less time with her. I wish we would have had this option. I'm glad to here this helped others.” ~ Kimberly

“I had my little girl with me for the two days i was in hospital. My midwife put the air conditioning on to keep our room cool and thanks to that my little girl had none of the problems that some people may of experienced. Her nose bled once but stopped and her skin never dried out. She also maintained her temp for a while. I think the cradle is a wonderful idea.” ~ Amy

“our hospital placed the baby wrapped in blankets basically in a cooler on ice in another room. (I assume the ice was in a plastic bag or something) We could have her with us or put back as we decided. we live in a small town and that is how they do it. something like this might give a better mental picture to families, for sure.” ~ Monica

“Christopher was left laying in a stainless steal bowl. The funeral home director stopped by my room to let me know that they couldn't put him in the outfit that I had for him to wear cause he was bowed. I think this would be an awesome idea. Even though I wish no one had to go through this, but at least they wouldn't be left with what I was told.” ~ Kimberly 

“....i just want to say that my baby angel was not in one of these he was in a what looked like a wooden unit that made refrigerating noises! But i got to spend a whole day with him and that was really good xx” ~ Sammy

Please consider helping us reach our 30k goal by making a donation today.  

In care, concern, and in the name of healing,
Lori Esteve 
S.O.B.B.S.(Stories of Babies Born Still) Founder
U.S.C.C.C.I. (United States Cooperative Caring Campaign Initiative) Organizer