Running in Silence
Donation protected
I went from an All-American collegiate runner with a secret to a girl clawing for a comeback on a 30-bananas-a-day diet.
This three-year struggle with raw food—coined by the leaders of a cultish website as a lifestyle, not a diet—became less about a national championship and more about seeking approval, gaining revenge on a overzealous coach of the past, and a journey of self-identity as I grappled with overwhelming emotions that came with an influx of bingeing. What began as towering plates of raw vegetables and mono meals of bananas, ended in numerous rice-and-cake binges. What had been a yearning to prove myself to others, ended with a realization that I must find my self worth beyond the simple identity of running and food.
My completed 70,000-word manuscript Running in Silence reflects on the monstrosity of food obsession in a time when orthorexia—the preoccupation with “pure” food—has reached its peak in diets that claim to end all disease and worries surrounding food. Running in Silence reveals eating disorders beyond physical appearance, and at the core of all such disease, the search for identity.
My book Running in Silence is making immense progress. I've done the writing, editing, revision, research, and I have asked for advice from many wise publishers, agents, friends, family, authors, and professors. So we are down to line-editing and the publishing phase. In this final edit I hope to turn my memoir into something that not only tells my story, but also offers questions and suggestions that will make it possible for readers to find their own way out of their eating disorders.
All of this may cost me around $7,724 (not including other costs I will be paying out-of-pocket). This cost is higher than if I were to just self publish on my own but it comes with quality and credentials. For example, cover design is done by John Koehler who is an award-winning graphic designer who at one point owned his own advertising agency so he is going to be designing covers that are not only great looking but are aimed specifically at selling the book, based on his dual professional credentials. The big ticket item I believe is the line editing. Joe Cocarro was a senior editor at the Virginian-Pilot for twenty years--he is the best because he is a professional with a proven record behind him. Thus when you boil it down, this is all about quality that I can count on because I've got these track records behind me.
Here is a sample invoice from a small publisher and is typical of the cost of hybrid, or "partnership" publishing which is the norm with all the big houses for first-time authors. I have also included some estimated marketing/traveling costs:
TITLE PREPARATION $510
CREATIVE PRODUCTION $4122
PRINTING & DISTRIBUTION $643
MARKETING/TRAVELING $700
$6,975 GRAND TOTAL
Any amount donated will add up and help. At the very least, if you want to get this message and story published, I could use your help sharing my message via social media or by word. The more that publishers can see that readers want this book, the more likely publishers are to pick it up.
I appreciate all the support I've been given since starting Running in Silence in December of 2012, and I hope my blog has helped and given some of you hope, encouragement, and advice. Even without a donation to this GoFundMe account, know that I appreciate every one of you and I hope to get this book out there to continue to help, encourage, and speak with you all (hopefully in person during the marketing stage!). Your support has helped me in my own recovery process, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.
“I tell my story not because it’s unique, but because it’s not.”
~Malala Yousafzai
This three-year struggle with raw food—coined by the leaders of a cultish website as a lifestyle, not a diet—became less about a national championship and more about seeking approval, gaining revenge on a overzealous coach of the past, and a journey of self-identity as I grappled with overwhelming emotions that came with an influx of bingeing. What began as towering plates of raw vegetables and mono meals of bananas, ended in numerous rice-and-cake binges. What had been a yearning to prove myself to others, ended with a realization that I must find my self worth beyond the simple identity of running and food.
My completed 70,000-word manuscript Running in Silence reflects on the monstrosity of food obsession in a time when orthorexia—the preoccupation with “pure” food—has reached its peak in diets that claim to end all disease and worries surrounding food. Running in Silence reveals eating disorders beyond physical appearance, and at the core of all such disease, the search for identity.
My book Running in Silence is making immense progress. I've done the writing, editing, revision, research, and I have asked for advice from many wise publishers, agents, friends, family, authors, and professors. So we are down to line-editing and the publishing phase. In this final edit I hope to turn my memoir into something that not only tells my story, but also offers questions and suggestions that will make it possible for readers to find their own way out of their eating disorders.
All of this may cost me around $7,724 (not including other costs I will be paying out-of-pocket). This cost is higher than if I were to just self publish on my own but it comes with quality and credentials. For example, cover design is done by John Koehler who is an award-winning graphic designer who at one point owned his own advertising agency so he is going to be designing covers that are not only great looking but are aimed specifically at selling the book, based on his dual professional credentials. The big ticket item I believe is the line editing. Joe Cocarro was a senior editor at the Virginian-Pilot for twenty years--he is the best because he is a professional with a proven record behind him. Thus when you boil it down, this is all about quality that I can count on because I've got these track records behind me.
Here is a sample invoice from a small publisher and is typical of the cost of hybrid, or "partnership" publishing which is the norm with all the big houses for first-time authors. I have also included some estimated marketing/traveling costs:
TITLE PREPARATION $510
CREATIVE PRODUCTION $4122
PRINTING & DISTRIBUTION $643
MARKETING/TRAVELING $700
$6,975 GRAND TOTAL
Any amount donated will add up and help. At the very least, if you want to get this message and story published, I could use your help sharing my message via social media or by word. The more that publishers can see that readers want this book, the more likely publishers are to pick it up.
I appreciate all the support I've been given since starting Running in Silence in December of 2012, and I hope my blog has helped and given some of you hope, encouragement, and advice. Even without a donation to this GoFundMe account, know that I appreciate every one of you and I hope to get this book out there to continue to help, encourage, and speak with you all (hopefully in person during the marketing stage!). Your support has helped me in my own recovery process, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.
“I tell my story not because it’s unique, but because it’s not.”
~Malala Yousafzai
Organizer
Rachael Steil
Organizer
Grand Rapids, MI
