Dad's Cancer
Donation protected
My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on October 11th, with the tumor being 6cm in length and affecting lymph nodes and blood vessels and therefore making it nonresectable, and is currently estimated to be between stages 2 and 3.
He has also been struggling with a hernia for almost a year, and the combination made it increasingly difficult for him to eat, and has more recently resulted in jaundice. Our family is discussing nutritional therapy, as well as a medical marijuana card for my dad in the hopes that it will help the pain and for him to regain some appetite. However, considering our financial state, my dad is contemplating not seeking treatment, so I have created this fundraiser in the hopes that he doesn't have to worry (or worry as much; as little or as much help as we receive will relieve some pressure) and be able to get treatment as needed.
If you can spare even a dollar it will help. If not, please read and at least share this fundraiser; for whichever you do, you have my sincere thanks.
RECENT TIMELINE:
The first occurence of something being off happened when my dad was in Hong Kong last December visiting one of his brothers who had cancer (and unfortunately passed). He said an extreme abdominal pain suddenly started, and as his oldest brother is a retired doctor, he was able to get in for immediate checkup and scanning. Nothing much really happened after that, until after he got back home in January. The pain and discomfort continued and after some check ups it was discovered that he has a hernia; this was early in the year. My dad has been eating less and less as the pain increased to the point where he significantly lost weight within the last month or so (about 20lbs). I returned from a 2 week trip with my mom on Oct 11th and my dad had come with my sister to pick us up after a doctor's visit. He received a call as my mom and I exited customs, and shortly after returning home my parents went back out to the doctor's.
They called my sister and and told her that it can't be anything but pancreatic cancer, that there's a 20% chance that our dad will make it to another 5 years, and that the tumor is about 6cm in length, therefore making it non-resectable.
ABOUT MY DAD AND FAMILY:
My dad was born in '52 in Kowloon, Hong Kong as the 6th in a family of 10. His dad was a superintendent, having good pay and medical benefits; however, the family lived as if they were poor, not being able to afford tuition, textbooks, uniforms, stationary, let alone clothing and food. What uniforms most my dad and his siblings had for school were second handed from fellow students, and I've heard many times that the entire soles of their shoes would be falling apart, and with all the rain in Hong Kong, they had to pad the bottoms of their shoes with newspaper and use tape or rubber bands to keep them together. When anybody got sick, they would just be sick because as kids, they weren't aware or told about the medical benefits that came from their dad's position. Their dad would only come around and pay for expenses from time to time.
My dad's mom wasn't really around much either, often going out with friends and/or to play mahjong. Whenever there were new clothes brought home, she would pick out the nicest articles and distribute them to her favorites first. Where my dad fell in that line, was last. His mom loved him least for whatever reasons. She said to my dad once, "That's right, I love your brothers and sisters more than you. In fact, I despise you." Those words have stayed with my dad to this day at 65.
My dad wasn't ever too close with any of his siblings, which he said is likely due to his temper and (then) rebellious nature. His siblings' kids also don't really have much respect for him.
My mom and dad have known each other since they were kids and have been married for closer to 4 decades. Their relationship has been declining for almost 20 years and especially more and more so in the last 10. My mom has been our source of income as my dad took care of my sister and me, as well as my mom's parents who used to spend half of each year here with us in Colorado. My dad has been taking care of all household tasks including yard work and house repair and maintainence. To put it bluntly, my dad has been acting as a nanny or live in maid (though the live-in maids my mom's family have in Hong Kong are treated better). There was a point in which my dad was studying to become a realtor and was close to completion, but couldn't finish due to my grandparents being here and needing a chauffeur to go out for lunch and shopping everyday. When his mom passed while everyone still lived in Hong Kong, there is a very harsh and uncommon practice (even worse so in the case of a family member) of disallowing a person to live in your household for a time if one of their family members pass; my mom's dad made him leave. When my uncle passed last year, my dad had, as anyone in the family always does, stayed with my mom's dad and two sisters, as soon as they had been informed of the passing, they packed his belongings and one of my aunts waited in the apartment lobby with his luggage, not even allowing my dad to go back up to gather his own things.
My dad doesn't have much of his own and wants to have a dog again more than anything but hasn't been able to because my mom hasn't allowed it; my dad owned a lot of dogs when he was younger and has told us that he wishes to have a dog so that he has someone by his side when he passes, and has been asking for years.
None of this is to say that either side of the family is bad, but to say that my dad has experienced a lot of bad things. My dad has been lonely, unhappy and hopeless for the majority of 65 years and I hope he doesn't have to be so for the remainder of his life.
He has also been struggling with a hernia for almost a year, and the combination made it increasingly difficult for him to eat, and has more recently resulted in jaundice. Our family is discussing nutritional therapy, as well as a medical marijuana card for my dad in the hopes that it will help the pain and for him to regain some appetite. However, considering our financial state, my dad is contemplating not seeking treatment, so I have created this fundraiser in the hopes that he doesn't have to worry (or worry as much; as little or as much help as we receive will relieve some pressure) and be able to get treatment as needed.
If you can spare even a dollar it will help. If not, please read and at least share this fundraiser; for whichever you do, you have my sincere thanks.
RECENT TIMELINE:
The first occurence of something being off happened when my dad was in Hong Kong last December visiting one of his brothers who had cancer (and unfortunately passed). He said an extreme abdominal pain suddenly started, and as his oldest brother is a retired doctor, he was able to get in for immediate checkup and scanning. Nothing much really happened after that, until after he got back home in January. The pain and discomfort continued and after some check ups it was discovered that he has a hernia; this was early in the year. My dad has been eating less and less as the pain increased to the point where he significantly lost weight within the last month or so (about 20lbs). I returned from a 2 week trip with my mom on Oct 11th and my dad had come with my sister to pick us up after a doctor's visit. He received a call as my mom and I exited customs, and shortly after returning home my parents went back out to the doctor's.
They called my sister and and told her that it can't be anything but pancreatic cancer, that there's a 20% chance that our dad will make it to another 5 years, and that the tumor is about 6cm in length, therefore making it non-resectable.
ABOUT MY DAD AND FAMILY:
My dad was born in '52 in Kowloon, Hong Kong as the 6th in a family of 10. His dad was a superintendent, having good pay and medical benefits; however, the family lived as if they were poor, not being able to afford tuition, textbooks, uniforms, stationary, let alone clothing and food. What uniforms most my dad and his siblings had for school were second handed from fellow students, and I've heard many times that the entire soles of their shoes would be falling apart, and with all the rain in Hong Kong, they had to pad the bottoms of their shoes with newspaper and use tape or rubber bands to keep them together. When anybody got sick, they would just be sick because as kids, they weren't aware or told about the medical benefits that came from their dad's position. Their dad would only come around and pay for expenses from time to time.
My dad's mom wasn't really around much either, often going out with friends and/or to play mahjong. Whenever there were new clothes brought home, she would pick out the nicest articles and distribute them to her favorites first. Where my dad fell in that line, was last. His mom loved him least for whatever reasons. She said to my dad once, "That's right, I love your brothers and sisters more than you. In fact, I despise you." Those words have stayed with my dad to this day at 65.
My dad wasn't ever too close with any of his siblings, which he said is likely due to his temper and (then) rebellious nature. His siblings' kids also don't really have much respect for him.
My mom and dad have known each other since they were kids and have been married for closer to 4 decades. Their relationship has been declining for almost 20 years and especially more and more so in the last 10. My mom has been our source of income as my dad took care of my sister and me, as well as my mom's parents who used to spend half of each year here with us in Colorado. My dad has been taking care of all household tasks including yard work and house repair and maintainence. To put it bluntly, my dad has been acting as a nanny or live in maid (though the live-in maids my mom's family have in Hong Kong are treated better). There was a point in which my dad was studying to become a realtor and was close to completion, but couldn't finish due to my grandparents being here and needing a chauffeur to go out for lunch and shopping everyday. When his mom passed while everyone still lived in Hong Kong, there is a very harsh and uncommon practice (even worse so in the case of a family member) of disallowing a person to live in your household for a time if one of their family members pass; my mom's dad made him leave. When my uncle passed last year, my dad had, as anyone in the family always does, stayed with my mom's dad and two sisters, as soon as they had been informed of the passing, they packed his belongings and one of my aunts waited in the apartment lobby with his luggage, not even allowing my dad to go back up to gather his own things.
My dad doesn't have much of his own and wants to have a dog again more than anything but hasn't been able to because my mom hasn't allowed it; my dad owned a lot of dogs when he was younger and has told us that he wishes to have a dog so that he has someone by his side when he passes, and has been asking for years.
None of this is to say that either side of the family is bad, but to say that my dad has experienced a lot of bad things. My dad has been lonely, unhappy and hopeless for the majority of 65 years and I hope he doesn't have to be so for the remainder of his life.
Organiser
Tiffany Iris
Organiser
Littleton, CO
