Renee Porteous's Medical Fund
My name is Mark Porteous. Last month I publicly shared a very personal and painful story we had kept secret for months. Sharing our secret has been like fresh air healing a wound.
Earlier this year my wife, Renee Porteous was diagnosed with breast cancer. Renee is a private person. She didn’t want anyone to know because she didn’t want people feeling sorry for her. She also wanted to figure out her own plan of action without being overwhelmed by well-meaning suggestions and stories of personal experiences.
After months of research and implementing dramatic health and lifestyle practices, she opted to have the small malignant lump removed from her right breast. They also planned to remove one or two lymph nodes to test them. They ended up removing thirty nodes with twenty-seven being malignant.
Due to the long term side effects, Renee was hoping to avoid chemo and radiation, but after discovering how aggressive the cancer was, traditional treatments were determined to be the best choice for her. We have six year old twins and she wants to do whatever it takes to give her the best chance to be here for them.
Renee earned a Bachelor’s degree in Holistic Nutrition ten years ago. We buy and eat primarily organic, healthy foods. She runs about 10 miles every week. For the first two months after her diagnosis she spent hundreds of hours researching alternative treatments in the US and around the world. We had always avoided traditional medicine. We don’t even take aspirin. Even after surgery she didn’t take the pain meds she was given.
The problem she found was that there is little scientific evidence for most alternative treatments as a cure for breast cancer. There are plenty of antidotal stories. She found that even some of those were hoaxes. The people making the claims either did not exist or had not been diagnosed by a doctor.
A few months after we received the results from Renee’s biopsy a young friend of ours died of cancer. She too believed there had to be a better cure than the traditional treatments of surgery, chemo and radiation, often referred to as “Slash, Poison and Burn.” When nothing else worked and it metastasized, she decided she had no other choice. By then it was too late. She left behind a little girl. The thought of not being here for her children was too much for Renee. If she was not a mom, it may have been different. She will do what ever it takes to be here for her children. Have I mentioned she’s the world’s greatest mom?
When Renee received her diagnosis she quit drinking wine immediately. She cut out sugar, high fructose fruit, grains and coffee. She bought a Vitamix blender and an Omega juicer which she uses almost every day now. She took supplements she had researched and exercised everyday. Her motto has become, “I am a healing machine.” She continues to do all she can physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Even after all that, the surgery revealed the cancer to be much more aggressive than expected. It caused her to question her beliefs and her faith. Soon I started to question my own. That was the beginning of a brief downward spiral. Fortunately I have friends (she is one of them) who reminded me how important it is to keep my faith and stay positive. I need to be optimistic and strong for her, for me and for our children.
As a husband, a father of six year old twins and a small business owner, I’ve had to address deeply routed fears and limiting beliefs about how I can best serve my family and others at the same time.
If I still had my corporate sales job, I wouldn’t be in the financial situation I’m in now. We had excellent health care and rarely needed it. I believe everyone should have access to good health care and hoped Obama Care would provide those less fortunate than me. I had no idea then I would soon be an independent business owner paying 100% of my own insurance. It’s just not the same quality we had before. We are blessed that Renee is receiving the best medical care available.
Getting our insurance to cover it is another challenge. Fortunately Renee has worked on both sides of insurance claims processing them first for a doctor and later for an insurance company. She knows the process and how to get it done. She’s learned to be her own advocate.
For 12 years I worked in corporate sales making a comfortable living. Over that time I happily donated thousands of dollars to families in need. I never expected to be in this position myself. It's much easier for me to help others than it is to ask for support.
One of the lessons I'm learning from this experience is to receive. I realize the idea of receiving support brings up my challenge around asking for help. I have a long time subconscious belief that as a man, a husband and a father, I am supposed to be self sufficient in any situation. It may still be related to self worth issues which I’ve been addressing, but I think it's more about feeling guilty and shameful asking for help when I am already so blessed.
We are blessed to have close friends who’ve helped us get the kids to school and pick them up on days we had doctor appointments. My mom flew in from NY to stay with us during both surgeries. Friends have brought us meals. We have so much for which to be thankful.
A dear friend asked me last week if there was anything she could send to comfort Renee or the kids. She shared that she and other friends would like to have a place they can go online and donate money since they live to far to bring food or watch kids. She suggested that I swallow my pride and set up a Go Fund Me account so others could help too. It’s not easy, but even the thought of financial relief at this point is very comforting.
Knowing we have a $6800 deductible to cover for our medical insurance this year and another $6650 next year, (along with a $100/month rate increase), plus we will likely have to pay more up front and fight with insurance companies for reimbursement, I am grateful for her suggestion and any help you can offer.
Our rate is going up $100/month next year.
I set the goal at $13,450 to cover our total insurance deductible.
All donations are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
