MORBIDLY OBESE WIDOWER SEEKS HELP

Hello. My name is Richard. I’m 54 years old. I’m a widower with no children, no family or friends..    I’ve been living alone, with morbid obesity for nearly as long as I was married to my beloved wife Annette.  She died from complications from obesity herself . She died in my arms one night in December, 2017. We lived hand to foot, There were days when there was no food in the house.  We couldn’t due to our inability to walk long distances to shop. It was agony for us both to stand let alone walk. Now alone, I trip and fall. I've had accidents and collapsed in the shower. The impact left a  piece of my lower right palm torn open (see photo).

Annette and I used to dream about me selling my writing (I want t be a screenplay writer). I've come close many times to that dream and we thought we'd live happily ever after and we could both afford to see doctors who could take away the pain we'd suffer 24/7.

Right now, I live off of disability which doesn't come close to paying for food and medical costs. There are times each month where there's simpy no food. Period. Just tap water and kidney beans. I'm still in pain and I beg God every night to show mercy and take it away once and for all.

I also pass out due to my hearts inability to send sufficient blood to various part of my body. I now have a groin so bloated my legs are already to collapse from the edema.

I’ve been fired from several jobs because I couldn’t walk, pick up items or just pass out at my desk. In one instance a manager I was told took a photo of me unconscious at my desk. The same day, going home on the bus, a passenger told me that someone behind me took a photo of me (I was again unconscious), I see how people stare at me. A freak.  In several instances while heading to work to New York from New Jersey, I found myself heading BACK to New Jersey having been unconscious on the bus. 

 I miss my wife. She made the excruciating pain we went through tolerable. I lived for her and took the pain for her. Now alone with no children, I can no longer  tolerate this pain, I just am hoping I can get a prodcudre known as a "gastric sleeve" performed. 

I  want to breath, sleep, walk, stand and sit .  I’m thinking maybe if I put up a request for help, maybe just maybe I might be able to get the help I need. It's a humbling and humiliating to open up one's life as I am a private person. I am lucky that Every nowo and again I am given food from food pantries but since I can't walk well, I have to wait for them to find time to bring the food to me. It takes days. 

If I fail again with this goFundMe attempt, I won't try anymore. I will go back to writing stories. You see, living alone the silence is defeaning. Writing seems to off-set the insanity. It fills me with hope I can achieve the dream my dedar Annette and I dreamed off. Right now, it's a tragedy I try to forget each day. 

Thanks
Rich