Save My Son
Donation protected
That's my best friend and son, David (that's me on the left). Every day for the last two and a half years, I've fought for him so he can have a chance at a normal, healthy life.
David was born on April 12th, 2014. It was the happiest day of my life, and when I first saw him, I felt the utterly life-changing love that makes a brand-new person the sudden, complete, number-one priority of your life, as most parents can understand. However, to my shock, within hours of his birth, his doctors determined that my perfect boy was suffering from heroin withdrawal.
David spent the first five weeks of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit fighting to overcome the effects of heroin in his system. His mother, as it turned out, had lied to me and to everyone around her when she told us that she had been clean for years. The heartbreaking truth was that she had used cocaine, heroin and other assorted drugs throughout her pregnancy, refusing any type of prenatal care in order to avoid detection and treatment. As a result, soon after David was born, the Division of Child Protection and Placement (DCPP) began an extensive investigation and filed a lawsuit of child neglect against her. At the time, she was living with me as my fiancé, but DCPP forced her to move out of my house before David came home from the hospital, allowing her only supervised visitation. Out of the two of us, I was the only one working at the time, making it very difficult for me to suddenly become the sole caregiver to a newborn as well as hold down a full time job... but I managed. My fierce love for David kept me going through those dark, grueling months, as I grappled with my fiance’s lies and our unraveling relationship, and I fell more in love with David with each passing day.
For months, my fiancé kept telling everyone that she had only used painkillers for back pain two days before David was born and that the drug tests she was failing were wrong. I tried to believe her, desperately. However, as time passed, and she kept failing each new drug test, I finally came around to accepting the reality, which is that she cannot be trusted. Our relationship ended. For months after that, I tried to let her have as much time with David as she could, under DCPP’s restrictions. After all, she was still David’s mother. However, her lies kept compounding, and things finally came to a head in January 2015, when I learned from a DCPP social worker that she had not just failed occasional drug tests every few months (as she had told me), but that DCPP had made her take one each week¸ and she had in fact failed every single test.
After that, I filed for the DCPP case to be closed, and for my full legal and physical custody to be made permanent. At this point, everything shifted: for the first time since she had become pregnant with my son, my ex-fiance began submitting clean drug test results, and by June 2015, she had obtained 50 % legal and physical custody. DCPP closed their lawsuit against her in September 2015, and for several months, we continued sharing custody 50-50. I was extremely thankful that she tested clean for much of 2015, but after everything that had happened I knew that I could never trust her, nor could I be sure that she wouldn’t use again or hurt David. Unfortunately, I was right. The worst was yet to come.
In June of 2016, my ex-fiance filed for full legal and physical custody. She now wants me out of David’s life completely. I received a copy of those papers in the mail, and that’s how I learned, for the first time, that I was not David’s biological father. She says in these papers that she has known all along who David’s biological father is, and she attached the paternity test results from this man for me to see as proof. She lied to me all this while, so I could take care of David when she was not able to.
David’s biological father is in prison. For the first thirteen months of David’s short life, I had to be both David’s mother and father. And for the rest of his life, I’ve been there half-time, as much as the court will let me. He is my life and soul. I cannot afford to lose him. David needs me in his life, just as much as I need him. I am the only daddy he has ever known. The only parent who has provided him with a stable and loving home from the day he came home from the hospital. The only parent with a job, and a history of no drug use... and right now, both David and I need you.
The constant court battle has drained me financially, and the largest fight is still ahead of me. Even though I have taken care of David for longer than my ex has, because she is his biological parent and I am not, I must now prove that there is a psychological bond between David and me. I have to hire an expert in psychology to prove this to the court because the law favors biological parents. This takes thousands of dollars, and I am at a point where all my savings are gone, and I am struggling to keep my head above water. I have nightmares about the life David will have if I am no longer in it. My ex has used for most of her life, and I don’t know if she will use again, or put David’s safety first if she does. There are countless grim statistics that indicate probable future relapses, with potentially horrifying consequences for my son. To be honest, I am asking for your help because I don’t know what else to do.
All of the funds will go directly toward fighting for David to stay in my life and give him a chance at the life he deserves. My son needs me. He needs his grandparents, friends, and right now, he needs you.
I need you, too. I can't imagine a life without my son in it, and I can't even begin to tell you how much your donations will mean to me and my family. This is the most terrifying challenge I have ever faced, but I have hope that David and I will be able to live in peace soon. The sooner we can do this, the sooner my son will have stability and we can begin to heal from the trauma he has already endured. Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for any donations you are able to spare to help my family in this tough time -- I can assure you they will never be forgotten.
David was born on April 12th, 2014. It was the happiest day of my life, and when I first saw him, I felt the utterly life-changing love that makes a brand-new person the sudden, complete, number-one priority of your life, as most parents can understand. However, to my shock, within hours of his birth, his doctors determined that my perfect boy was suffering from heroin withdrawal.
David spent the first five weeks of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit fighting to overcome the effects of heroin in his system. His mother, as it turned out, had lied to me and to everyone around her when she told us that she had been clean for years. The heartbreaking truth was that she had used cocaine, heroin and other assorted drugs throughout her pregnancy, refusing any type of prenatal care in order to avoid detection and treatment. As a result, soon after David was born, the Division of Child Protection and Placement (DCPP) began an extensive investigation and filed a lawsuit of child neglect against her. At the time, she was living with me as my fiancé, but DCPP forced her to move out of my house before David came home from the hospital, allowing her only supervised visitation. Out of the two of us, I was the only one working at the time, making it very difficult for me to suddenly become the sole caregiver to a newborn as well as hold down a full time job... but I managed. My fierce love for David kept me going through those dark, grueling months, as I grappled with my fiance’s lies and our unraveling relationship, and I fell more in love with David with each passing day.
For months, my fiancé kept telling everyone that she had only used painkillers for back pain two days before David was born and that the drug tests she was failing were wrong. I tried to believe her, desperately. However, as time passed, and she kept failing each new drug test, I finally came around to accepting the reality, which is that she cannot be trusted. Our relationship ended. For months after that, I tried to let her have as much time with David as she could, under DCPP’s restrictions. After all, she was still David’s mother. However, her lies kept compounding, and things finally came to a head in January 2015, when I learned from a DCPP social worker that she had not just failed occasional drug tests every few months (as she had told me), but that DCPP had made her take one each week¸ and she had in fact failed every single test.
After that, I filed for the DCPP case to be closed, and for my full legal and physical custody to be made permanent. At this point, everything shifted: for the first time since she had become pregnant with my son, my ex-fiance began submitting clean drug test results, and by June 2015, she had obtained 50 % legal and physical custody. DCPP closed their lawsuit against her in September 2015, and for several months, we continued sharing custody 50-50. I was extremely thankful that she tested clean for much of 2015, but after everything that had happened I knew that I could never trust her, nor could I be sure that she wouldn’t use again or hurt David. Unfortunately, I was right. The worst was yet to come.
In June of 2016, my ex-fiance filed for full legal and physical custody. She now wants me out of David’s life completely. I received a copy of those papers in the mail, and that’s how I learned, for the first time, that I was not David’s biological father. She says in these papers that she has known all along who David’s biological father is, and she attached the paternity test results from this man for me to see as proof. She lied to me all this while, so I could take care of David when she was not able to.
David’s biological father is in prison. For the first thirteen months of David’s short life, I had to be both David’s mother and father. And for the rest of his life, I’ve been there half-time, as much as the court will let me. He is my life and soul. I cannot afford to lose him. David needs me in his life, just as much as I need him. I am the only daddy he has ever known. The only parent who has provided him with a stable and loving home from the day he came home from the hospital. The only parent with a job, and a history of no drug use... and right now, both David and I need you.
The constant court battle has drained me financially, and the largest fight is still ahead of me. Even though I have taken care of David for longer than my ex has, because she is his biological parent and I am not, I must now prove that there is a psychological bond between David and me. I have to hire an expert in psychology to prove this to the court because the law favors biological parents. This takes thousands of dollars, and I am at a point where all my savings are gone, and I am struggling to keep my head above water. I have nightmares about the life David will have if I am no longer in it. My ex has used for most of her life, and I don’t know if she will use again, or put David’s safety first if she does. There are countless grim statistics that indicate probable future relapses, with potentially horrifying consequences for my son. To be honest, I am asking for your help because I don’t know what else to do.
All of the funds will go directly toward fighting for David to stay in my life and give him a chance at the life he deserves. My son needs me. He needs his grandparents, friends, and right now, he needs you.
I need you, too. I can't imagine a life without my son in it, and I can't even begin to tell you how much your donations will mean to me and my family. This is the most terrifying challenge I have ever faced, but I have hope that David and I will be able to live in peace soon. The sooner we can do this, the sooner my son will have stability and we can begin to heal from the trauma he has already endured. Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for any donations you are able to spare to help my family in this tough time -- I can assure you they will never be forgotten.
Organizer
Todd Charlton
Organizer
Clementon, NJ
