Mel's Nonbinary Top Surgery
Donation protected
Fundraiser organized by James Prince and Kin Fletcher.
If everyone could give a small gift of even $5, we only need 356 people to meet the next goal, and 1,636 to fully fund Mel’s top surgery campaign!
$5 Donations To Meet Next Goal: 356
Scroll down for cost breakdown and goals. (And a rainbow dog.)
Gender Marker Update: Some more cool news! Mel had an article written about them and their achievement getting their gender marker changed to X.
Surgery Date Update: Originally, surgery was scheduled for the end of August, but they have had to postpone it. That means we have a little more time to work with and I'm keeping the fundraiser open until whenever they get it rescheduled for (unknown at the moment). Thank you all for your continued help and support!
Mel's Story:
Mel is a transgender nonbinary individual. They are a self-employed writer, mental health advocate, fighter for human rights, and the best friend a person could ask for.
They are an incredibly strong and independent person, who was working hard to ensure they could meet their goal for top surgery at the end of August. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned.
Mel is currently in the hospital, and could be for a while yet. (Update: They were recently released, but need to focus on rest and healing. Thanks to everyone who has donated, let's keep this going strong.)
This means that all of their plans for getting the funds have gone out the door. A couple of Mel’s friends have decided to do what they can to make sure that Mel doesn’t have to worry about the money for their much needed surgery and, instead, can focus their energy on recovery and healing.
Mel has been pursuing their medical transition since December 2015 when they started hormone replacement therapy. Since then, they have noticed significant relief at the mental disconnect between their assigned gender and gender identity.
Top surgery will be their next step toward living an authentic life, free of the devastating distress caused by gender dysphoria.
We believe that, with the help of our amazing community, we can help Mel reach this point. #MelsMiracle
Get to Know Mel:
—Loves chickens and owns an apartment filled with chicken memorabilia
—Has a therapy dog named Luna, who loves belly rubs and constant attention
—One of the first adults in Utah to get their gender marker legally changed to X
—Known among their social circles for their colorful, mismatched fashions
—Laughs easily
—Spare time is often spent playing retro video games, knitting, or writing poetry
—Invested in holistic healing and a healthy lifestyle (kefir smoothies every day, anyone?)
About The Fundraiser:
What is Transgender?
Transgender is an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.
Because Mel has a neutral gender identity and experience, this means that they are transgender because they do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.
What is Nonbinary?
Nonbinary is an umbrella term for anyone who does not solely identify as male or female.
Because Mel is gender neutral and does not identify or experience life as either male or female, their gender is nonbinary.
What is Top Surgery?
For those of you who are not familiar with transgender surgeries, FTM/N top surgery is a procedure to flatten and de-feminize the chest. The reason for the procedure is something called dysphoria.
What is Gender Dysphoria?
As defined by The American Psychiatric Association, “Gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person's physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify.” They further specify, “People with gender dysphoria may often experience significant distress and/or problems functioning associated with this conflict between the way they feel and think of themselves (referred to as experienced or expressed gender) and their physical or assigned gender.” [https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria]
Medical Necessity
It is important to note the medical necessity of this procedure. Dysphoria is a condition which can be absolutely crippling. It impacts every aspect of daily life and can make it practically impossible to function. However, many insurers refuse to acknowledge the necessity, instead deeming it cosmetic.
How You Can Help
The first thing you can do is donate. Even a small gift of a couple dollars goes a long way towards helping.
The second thing you can do, even if you are unable to donate, is to share the fundraiser. Ask allies in your personal community to donate, or reach out online. We’ve started the hashtag #melsmiracle to rally around.
The third thing that you can do is take an active part in your community in standing up for trans rights. This goes deeper than just going to rallies and volunteering at LGBT+ centers, go out and vote, go out and defend against the little indignities and slights trans people face. Even if you are not LGBT+, you can always be an ally and we need those more than you could know.
Personal Notes from the Team
Kin:
Mel has been my closest friend for more than six years now. I’ve seen them go through struggles no person should ever have to face, but their determination and strength has never ceased to amaze and inspire me. They are so full of courage and love.
Mel is a person who puts others before themself without a second thought. They are always raising awareness for important causes and constantly researching issues in minority groups. In my own interactions with Mel, every time I complain of some problem or another, I immediately receive wholehearted support and emails full of useful resources and encouragement.
I’ve had the opportunity to see firsthand the effects that hormone replacement therapy has had on Mel. They get more excited every day to be seen as who they really are. But I’ve also seen how detrimental the dysphoria can still be, and it absolutely breaks my heart.
Having seen all the ups and downs that Mel has, I feel so grateful to have them as a friend, and I want nothing more than to help them take these steps toward becoming their authentic self--that self who is just exploding with creativity, love, and courage. I can’t express in words how much Mel means to me and how incredible of a person they really are. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.
James:
I met Mel through a mutual friend of ours. Mel was the first nonbinary person I met in person and am incredibly lucky to have had such an amazing role model. They are a wonderful, kind, and intelligent person and I’ve always admired their strength of character and determination.
With their work in mental health and participation in the LGBT+ community, I honestly could not be prouder of what they’ve accomplished. I have seen how much Mel struggle with gender dysphoria and that only adds to everything that goes into running a business.
Their passion and long-term goal is to run a mental health blog which will provide sufferers of mental illness with the help and resources they need to heal and cope. I think it says a lot about a person when their true calling is to help other people. And that’s only a small part of why I want to help Mel this time.
This surgery will take them that much closer to being fully and authentically themselves as well as enabling them to do the work that they love and which provides such value to the world.
There are so many wonderful things I could say about Mel, but I’ll stop there. I hope that we, as a community, can band together and help Mel start this new chapter in their life. They deserve it, and they will give back so much when this is all done.
Bonus: A picture of Mel's dog , Luna, showing her pride!
Goals [[date reached in brackets]]
Minus Outside Donations of: $500 (revised numbers in parentheses)
Milestone 1 (Payment Processing Fees): $600 [[Completed as of June 26!]]
Milestone 2: $1,600 ($1,100) [[Completed as of July 23!]]
Milestone 3 (Half Way There!): $3,600 ($3,100)
Milestone 4: $4,600 ($4,100)
TOP SURGERY FUNDED: $6,600 ($6,100)
Stretch Goal 1 (Recovery and Medications): $7,100 ($6,600)
Stretch Goal 2 (Emergency Buffer): $8,600 ($8,100)
Stretch Goal 3 (Replacement Income): $10,000 ($9,500)
Funding Breakdown:
Payment Processing Fees: $600
Top Surgery: $6,000
Recovery & Medications: $500
Emergency Buffer: $1,500
Replace Income: $2,000
Thank you all for reading! Have a lovely day.
—The Team, #MelsMiracle
If everyone could give a small gift of even $5, we only need 356 people to meet the next goal, and 1,636 to fully fund Mel’s top surgery campaign!
$5 Donations To Meet Next Goal: 356
Scroll down for cost breakdown and goals. (And a rainbow dog.)
Gender Marker Update: Some more cool news! Mel had an article written about them and their achievement getting their gender marker changed to X.
Surgery Date Update: Originally, surgery was scheduled for the end of August, but they have had to postpone it. That means we have a little more time to work with and I'm keeping the fundraiser open until whenever they get it rescheduled for (unknown at the moment). Thank you all for your continued help and support!
Mel's Story:
Mel is a transgender nonbinary individual. They are a self-employed writer, mental health advocate, fighter for human rights, and the best friend a person could ask for.
They are an incredibly strong and independent person, who was working hard to ensure they could meet their goal for top surgery at the end of August. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned.
Mel is currently in the hospital, and could be for a while yet. (Update: They were recently released, but need to focus on rest and healing. Thanks to everyone who has donated, let's keep this going strong.)
This means that all of their plans for getting the funds have gone out the door. A couple of Mel’s friends have decided to do what they can to make sure that Mel doesn’t have to worry about the money for their much needed surgery and, instead, can focus their energy on recovery and healing.
Mel has been pursuing their medical transition since December 2015 when they started hormone replacement therapy. Since then, they have noticed significant relief at the mental disconnect between their assigned gender and gender identity.
Top surgery will be their next step toward living an authentic life, free of the devastating distress caused by gender dysphoria.
We believe that, with the help of our amazing community, we can help Mel reach this point. #MelsMiracle
Get to Know Mel:
—Loves chickens and owns an apartment filled with chicken memorabilia
—Has a therapy dog named Luna, who loves belly rubs and constant attention
—One of the first adults in Utah to get their gender marker legally changed to X
—Known among their social circles for their colorful, mismatched fashions
—Laughs easily
—Spare time is often spent playing retro video games, knitting, or writing poetry
—Invested in holistic healing and a healthy lifestyle (kefir smoothies every day, anyone?)
About The Fundraiser:
What is Transgender?
Transgender is an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.
Because Mel has a neutral gender identity and experience, this means that they are transgender because they do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.
What is Nonbinary?
Nonbinary is an umbrella term for anyone who does not solely identify as male or female.
Because Mel is gender neutral and does not identify or experience life as either male or female, their gender is nonbinary.
What is Top Surgery?
For those of you who are not familiar with transgender surgeries, FTM/N top surgery is a procedure to flatten and de-feminize the chest. The reason for the procedure is something called dysphoria.
What is Gender Dysphoria?
As defined by The American Psychiatric Association, “Gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person's physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify.” They further specify, “People with gender dysphoria may often experience significant distress and/or problems functioning associated with this conflict between the way they feel and think of themselves (referred to as experienced or expressed gender) and their physical or assigned gender.” [https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria]
Medical Necessity
It is important to note the medical necessity of this procedure. Dysphoria is a condition which can be absolutely crippling. It impacts every aspect of daily life and can make it practically impossible to function. However, many insurers refuse to acknowledge the necessity, instead deeming it cosmetic.
How You Can Help
The first thing you can do is donate. Even a small gift of a couple dollars goes a long way towards helping.
The second thing you can do, even if you are unable to donate, is to share the fundraiser. Ask allies in your personal community to donate, or reach out online. We’ve started the hashtag #melsmiracle to rally around.
The third thing that you can do is take an active part in your community in standing up for trans rights. This goes deeper than just going to rallies and volunteering at LGBT+ centers, go out and vote, go out and defend against the little indignities and slights trans people face. Even if you are not LGBT+, you can always be an ally and we need those more than you could know.
Personal Notes from the Team
Kin:
Mel has been my closest friend for more than six years now. I’ve seen them go through struggles no person should ever have to face, but their determination and strength has never ceased to amaze and inspire me. They are so full of courage and love.
Mel is a person who puts others before themself without a second thought. They are always raising awareness for important causes and constantly researching issues in minority groups. In my own interactions with Mel, every time I complain of some problem or another, I immediately receive wholehearted support and emails full of useful resources and encouragement.
I’ve had the opportunity to see firsthand the effects that hormone replacement therapy has had on Mel. They get more excited every day to be seen as who they really are. But I’ve also seen how detrimental the dysphoria can still be, and it absolutely breaks my heart.
Having seen all the ups and downs that Mel has, I feel so grateful to have them as a friend, and I want nothing more than to help them take these steps toward becoming their authentic self--that self who is just exploding with creativity, love, and courage. I can’t express in words how much Mel means to me and how incredible of a person they really are. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.
James:
I met Mel through a mutual friend of ours. Mel was the first nonbinary person I met in person and am incredibly lucky to have had such an amazing role model. They are a wonderful, kind, and intelligent person and I’ve always admired their strength of character and determination.
With their work in mental health and participation in the LGBT+ community, I honestly could not be prouder of what they’ve accomplished. I have seen how much Mel struggle with gender dysphoria and that only adds to everything that goes into running a business.
Their passion and long-term goal is to run a mental health blog which will provide sufferers of mental illness with the help and resources they need to heal and cope. I think it says a lot about a person when their true calling is to help other people. And that’s only a small part of why I want to help Mel this time.
This surgery will take them that much closer to being fully and authentically themselves as well as enabling them to do the work that they love and which provides such value to the world.
There are so many wonderful things I could say about Mel, but I’ll stop there. I hope that we, as a community, can band together and help Mel start this new chapter in their life. They deserve it, and they will give back so much when this is all done.
Bonus: A picture of Mel's dog , Luna, showing her pride!
Goals [[date reached in brackets]]
Minus Outside Donations of: $500 (revised numbers in parentheses)
Milestone 1 (Payment Processing Fees): $600 [[Completed as of June 26!]]
Milestone 2: $1,600 ($1,100) [[Completed as of July 23!]]
Milestone 3 (Half Way There!): $3,600 ($3,100)
Milestone 4: $4,600 ($4,100)
TOP SURGERY FUNDED: $6,600 ($6,100)
Stretch Goal 1 (Recovery and Medications): $7,100 ($6,600)
Stretch Goal 2 (Emergency Buffer): $8,600 ($8,100)
Stretch Goal 3 (Replacement Income): $10,000 ($9,500)
Funding Breakdown:
Payment Processing Fees: $600
Top Surgery: $6,000
Recovery & Medications: $500
Emergency Buffer: $1,500
Replace Income: $2,000
Thank you all for reading! Have a lovely day.
—The Team, #MelsMiracle
Co-organizers (3)
James Prince
Organizer
Park City, UT
Mel Van De Graaff
Beneficiary
Kin Fletcher
Co-organizer