Shane's Childcare Balance

My beautiful and marvelous son Shane is a kindergarten student at the Waldorf School of Santa Barbara, and has been there for two years.

In December of 2014 I received the devastating news that his tuition account would not be paid for over 13 months of care by the assistance program that provides a significant childcare subsidy due to my status as a low income single mother, full-time student and part-time employee (I am in my 3rd semester at Santa Barbara City College, maintain a 3.8 GPA, and have provided administrative and classroom support at a local childcare center for homeless and at risk children for the past year. I am on track to transfer to UCSB and my long term goal is to pursue an MA in Depth Psychology and become a therapist for women and children who have undergone trauma).

(Shane, his brother and I in a garden on a warm day)

My caseworker explained that the original approved contract was subjected to internal delays, was misrouted several times, and that the childcare division of the office underwent unprecedented staff shortages and turnovers. As the agreement spanned into a new fiscal year without payment, no funds can be approved for the entire first year of our participation in the program. I have exhausted all efforts seeking fair resolution and reimbursement via the contract I understood as binding and received the grim and definitive response: no payments for this period are forthcoming.

The fact that as a result I amassed a debt to my son's school of over $7,000 is all the more difficult to manage due to the harrowing journey our family underwent this year and the current overall financial status of the school.

In February my 2 year old son, Shane's little brother, was hospitalized in the PICU for severe pneumonia and a collapsed lung for several weeks, had two surgeries, and following release exhibited global developmental delays (unable to stand/walk, spoke only monosyllabic words). He received speech, behavioral and physical therapy for four months after these complications.

(Shane and his brother Chaba a month after his stay in the PICU for severe pneumonia)

My sons' father who had a preexisting mental illness deteriorated this past year, perhaps in large part due to our son's condition and my third pregnancy, as a sharp declination coincided with Chaba's release and my last trimester. He lost his employment, and interactions between us became tumultuous and difficult. Though he had previously been a quality care provider to our sons, he became unable to care for them or contribute financially to their needs.

In June I gave birth to our third son. This occurred during summer break from school and I cared for my newborn and his two older brothers alone during postpartum recovery. One of my greatest challenges during this time was tandem nursing - my two year old exhibited behavioral issues as a result of the many transitions and I could not bring myself to wean him during an already difficult time. They both woke up several times a night separately to nurse and I had very little sustained rest (less than 3 hours nightly) for weeks on end.

(My baby Teco at 4 days old)

In August I moved from the transitional communal living program where we had been residing at St. Vincent's of Santa Barbara for over two years, as the maximum stay expired. The permanent housing we secured in advance was delayed due to unforeseen issues with the State, so for August, September, October and November I stayed in hotels and two temporary rentals. I faced an unprecedented rental market during an already precarious time caring for a newborn and and two young children, attending school full-time, and working part-time. The unbudgeted exorbitant rental costs depleted my limited savings. 

I worked hard to balance my obligations and focus on my children. I completed the semester with academic excellence. I remained at work and received accolades and a prospective offer to remain on following the termination of the work study program which I am employed through. I ensured my sons were fed, clothed, had adequate shelter, and read to and prayed with them each night. I thanked God for our health, cohesion as a family, and for the beauty and peace that surrounded us.

I am a woman and a mother. Regarding the more severe experiences not directly relevant to this request, out of respect for my family and loved ones I will not share details. I will say in my life I have faced a multitude of challenges, adversity, trauma, and tumult. I have seen firsthand the tenacity of the human spirit against horrific experiences and unimaginable strain. In my family I have matriarchal models who have the hearts of lions, and the strength and courage of warriors; women who are made of a substance that not simply withstands, but contends against the totality of their collective pain, hardship and suffering. I maintained the image of my mother in my mind when I felt exhaustion and desperation. I also re-visited amazing techniques and practices taught to me by my brilliant and gifted psychotherapist and mentor from St. Vincent's. I made it through by the skin of my teeth.

As I reflect on my experience and the benefits the Waldorf School of Santa Barbara provided my son (and like ripples in a river, my entire family and our navigation through crises) are incalculable. 

Waldorf maintains educational philosophies perfectly aligned to Shane as an individual. They implement a developmentally age appropriate curriculum. They tend to the reality that captivates children and that they naturally thrive within, fluid-like and free. They advocate for preservation of the imaginative and wondrous spirit of childhood. They believe that children should spend the majority of the day outside interacting with the natural world, and engage often in play. Imagination, storytelling, puppetry, and drama are emphasized. They honor the rhythms of the year and cycles of the seasons and hold beautiful festivals to celebrate them.

(Waldorf of Santa Barbara, wooden carving and Michaelmas celebration, children within a dragon defeated by St. Michael)

(Images from The Halloween Journey, a magical event held by Waldorf involving children walking through a series of carefully crafted vignettes wherein dedicated instructors and parents tell captivating stories) 

The classrooms are resplendent in natural soft hues, handmade wooden structures and natural toys ~ all so lovingly defined by beauty, detail and care. They believe in instilling within children an understanding of the self, confidence and utility, and teach the children finger knitting, sewing, and working with simple tools, and the value in remaining patient and dutiful to any undertaking. Shane often returns home, a secret smile on his face, cupping a creation in his small hands that when opened I catch my breath at, look over long moments, turn over in my hands and appreciate. I marvel at his adeptness, patience, and vigilant attention to detail, and know this was fostered by his teachers.

(A Waldorf teacher in the classroom, art depicting children during a Martinmas lantern walk)

Waldorf teachers have tended to my Shane as an individual beyond what I thought possible. I view them as true guardians and guides. His preschool teacher was one of a small handful of visitors when his brother was sick in the hospital, she sang him songs and practiced Reiki on him; and despite my steadfast reticence regarding my more difficult experiences, his current teacher appeared with offerings to support my family at opportune moments. I was moved to tears at each of my parent conferences as these brilliant women described Shane with an attunement and understanding that was astounding. They spoke of his spirit, his special nature and challenges, those he plays with and the dynamic, flexible and accepting nature of his social interactions, his development and progress. They identified traits and skills only the most diligent and insightful guide could glean from caring for him.

Put simply, I have existed as a low income individual most of my life. This is not the first time I accrued debt or struggled to pay an obligation. But this is the first time my inability to do so has weighed heavily on my conscience, and sat like a lump within my throat. I tried so hard to fine tune my transitions and plan the last years to align myself on a trajectory I believe will best serve my family in the long run. I worked hard, I am working hard. This is the first time I can see and understand the devastating impacts to an institution and people who I cherish in the deepest sense of the word.

This year the school as a whole is in a financial crisis - the situation is complex, but tardiness and delayed payments on accounts, and the tuition assistance program offered to children like my son for amazingly enriching education and care, is a substantial part of it.

My family and I have subsisted on little in the way of food, shelter, and tangible goods. We lived in a shelter, a transitional living program, and I am not unfamiliar with managing our physical needs and obligations paycheck to paycheck. But we have been fortunate to live in richness in the ways that cannot be calculated with numbers ~ in our spirits, our togetherness, our dreams and connections. Shane's natural inclinations and strengths of kindness, imagination, love of nature and animals, artistry, and focus in completing tasks to the best of his ability have been strengthened immeasurably by Waldorf. Waldorf has provided Shane a base and confidence to draw from that has carried him through our formidable challenges this year, and will continue to serve him as he grows.

I write this with great humility and gratitude. I do not seek living expenses, or require assistance for a need arising from a catastrophic life event, though I have navigated through those circumstances this last year without taking this step. I write with the hopes of contributing to a group, a family as I perceive them, of teachers, mentors, guides, classmates and students that have provided perhaps the greatest and most valuable sustenance to my son during a period of trauma and strife, while him and I crossed thresholds and dark mountains. Waldorf lifted my son up, and filled our lives with light during this time. They provided stimulation, enrichment, stability and nurture during Shane's critical formative years. While I would love to do so much more, I am seeking simply to give them what I promised them in my tuition agreement last year, what along with the remaining accounts they based their operating budget on, and what I worked very hard to ensure would be met through the avenues available to me.

I know many reading this have more dire needs and concerns. This is difficult for me to share, divulge and request, but I have to try because the simple truth is Waldorf has supported my family and cared for my son, who with his brothers are the most important things to me on this earth. The simple truth is I owe them and they are in need, and I will do whatever I can to meet my responsibilities, and reciprocate and demonstrate my gratitude.

I want to pay them this balance, which in reality is nowhere near equivalent to the actual value of this year ~ a year when my son walked into a classroom every day and met uncommon warmth and stability, sat in rapt attention listening to thoughtful stories, walked along a rose garden in the twilight with real friends holding lanterns symbolic of the light they carry within themselves, frolicked in parks, before rushing creeks and along mountain paths, learned about death and loss in a simple and abiding manner, kneaded, cooked and ate warm homemade bread, chanted blessings, fingerknit, created, crafted, painted, sung and danced and played . . . as a happy child, a part of a beautiful world, his spirit imbued with remarkable energy and ecnouragement. This year he stood with his back straight and his heart full among adults and children who loved him, and ran with dragons and saints.

(Shane standing tall with his younger brother)

Thank you so for reading this lengthy story about my family, Shane and Waldorf. If you have the desire and ability, please contribute any amount towards decreasing my family's substantial balance and the overall deficit this incredible school faces. I firmly believe that Waldorf develops beautiful and quality human beings, and that they are a rare and inspiring village that truly honors and nurtures children.

If you do not wish to contribute to my son's specific account, but to the school as a whole, or if you were moved or intrigued by the description of the school and would like to read more about Waldorf education, the scbool website is at the following link ~ please feel free to browse to learn more. Donations can be made directly online.

http://www.waldorfsantabarbara.org/ 

I also learned felting at a workship provided by Waldorf and over the past year have created simple, natural, safe and handmade animals and dolls for my sons. Below are some images. If you are interested in purchasing one of these, they will soon be offered through an etsy site to be created by Waldorf and 100% of the proceeds will go towards the school. I will post the link to the site as soon as it is up and am eager to contribute in this manner to an insitution that has done so very much for my son, family, and the community. These are cute, organic, one of a kind creations for children and adults alike (I had some on my work desk for months and they made me smile whenever I looked upon them). These ranged in height from 4 - 8 inches, but are completely customizable. Felting is an amazingly flexible craft and I can work off a photograph of a favorite animal, pet, human subject, etc.

I also began drawing again after a long hiatus ~ if you are looking for a special gift for a loved one of any subject in a scene or surrounded by desired objects, below is a sample drawing I did of my sons as a thank you card for a wonderful woman who gifted them with beautiful books. I can customize to your wishes.
Thank you.

"Waldorf students are encouraged to live with self-assurance, a reverence for life and a sense of service." 

Ernest Boyer, President, Carnegie Institute for the Advancement of Teaching, Former U.S. Commissioner of Education

"Waldorf Education draws out the best of qualities in young people. While this is not an instant process, the values they learn provide a lifelong platform from which to grow." 

Gilbert Grosvenor, President Emeritus of the National Geographic Society

"Waldorf Education addresses the child as no other education does. Learning, whether in chemistry, mathematics, history or geography, is imbued with life and so with joy, which is the only true basis for later study. The textures and colors of nature, the accomplishments and struggles of humankind fill the Waldorf students' imaginations and the pages of their beautiful books. Education grows into a union with life that serves them for decades.

By the time they reach us at the college and university level, these students are grounded broadly and deeply and have a remarkable enthusiasm for learning. Such students possess the eye of the discoverer, and the compassionate heart of the reformer which, when joined to a task, can change the planet." 

Arthur Zajonc, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Physics, Amherst College

"American schools are having a crisis in values. Half the children fail according to standard measures and the other half wonder why they are learning what they do. As is appropriate to life in a democracy, there are a handful of alternatives. Among the alternatives, the Waldorf school represents a chance for every child to grow and learn according to the most natural rhythms of life. For the early school child, this means a non-competitive, non-combative environment in which the wonders of science and literature fill the day without causing anxiety and confusion. For the older child, it offers a curriculum that addresses the question of why they are learning. I have sent two of my children to Waldorf schools and they have been wonderfully well served." 

Raymond McDermott, Ph.D., Professor of Education and Anthropology, Stanford University