Mattys big dream.

Hey im matty, Im 18 years old. Im a singer from england, from a small town called derby. Ive failed many opportunities in my life due the the negative series of events i can never seem to escape from. So i use social media as an escape to share with the world my music, passion, hopes and dreams. I was a viner with 260 thousand followers and i really thought it was finally my big break. Unfortunately at such short notice vine closed down and i felt like i ran out of options. Ive so recently moved to youtube in hopes that one day it can be my job and i can finally be happy doing the one thing that ive always wanted to do without the people around me being discouraging and tearing me down. Ive always been one to shy away from anything that would take anything from other people and im writing this without the help of dutch courage suprisingly enough. I need help in raising money for proper recording equipment that so many people are pushing for me to get. So that proffesionally i can start working extra hard in bringing the best quality content that i can possibly make. I dont wish to pressure anybody into donating because i understand financially how hard things can be. Sometimes i dont even know if im going to have food on the table myself and thats the last thing people would thing because they see me being bubbly and happy but im simply trying to make somebody elses day better because i know how hard it is to feel so alone. Ive tried to land several jobs but truly i cant put my heart into something that i cant enjoy, and its so hard to constantly justify myself to those around me that im not being lazy or delusional but just that i cant stand around for any more unhappiness because i feel like im losing myself. I want to keep spreading the poisitvity as much as i can because thats truly my therapy in life. Thankyou for even taking the time to read this. Ill always be grateful for the little i have because it allows me to always hold onto my values and allows me to value other people around me that are going through tough times too. One day i hope to bless the world with the emotion i try to channel through the pain in my voice. Slowly but surely.. Thankyou for following me on this journey i am truly grateful.