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Fund Maan's Search for Birth Family

$595 of $4,000 goal

Raised by 15 people in 8 months

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My name is Ma-An and I am 30 years old.

Four months ago, I embarked on a journey to find my birth mother and biological father. 

I was born in The Philippines in 1988, to a twenty seven year old woman, who would find her life circumstances difficult to care for her child. At eight months old, my birth mother gave me away. I would be cared for by my adoptive father and his family until I was three years old. At three years old, my adoptive father and his siblings left for Canada to attend their father's funeral. He would leave me with his sister-in-law and her four children  for the next 5 years. After his sister-in-law and three of her children also moved to Canada, I was left with my aunt's eldest son who had his own family care for me, until a year later, at nine years old, I too would move to Canada (1997). 


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I spent 30 years, without a mother. A broken relationship with my adoptive father and his family. An outcast, of the family. Blamed for being different, and having my own mind, has severed all possible relationship with my now estranged adoptive father. It has been seven years since I last had any sort of relationship with my adoptive father. It has not been an easy upbringing, even spending a year and a half in foster care.


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I am now a mother of three, and married to a good man. But there's still this part of me missing. The loss, and grief of not knowing who you were before what you've had to become is an unsettling and life changing question. I wonder what the first chapter of my life was. If my mother loved me for those eight months she still kept me. If she had known she was always going to give me away. If it was a difficult decision to give a part of her heart away. I wonder, and wonder, all these years. WHO AM I? WHERE DO I COME FROM? WHY WAS I GIVEN AWAY? DID THEY LOVE ME? WAS I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? DID SHE WANT ME? HAVE I RUINED HER LIFE? WHERE ARE THEY? All these questions to wonder, but never have an answer to. 


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Four months ago, I found the courage to seek those answers. Though I am uncertain that these questions will all be answered, or that I may find what I am searching for. I am hopeful, that with my trying, I may find a piece of me where it all began. 

This campaign is to help me find my birth family. This is to fund my travel back to where I was born, and to seek the truth and to uncover secrets that are being kept from me. I am hoping that with every little help that I may be granted by your kindness, that I will one day be able to go home and find traces of who I am, where I am from, and to find the pieces of my life that I have missed out on for 30 years. 


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I know it is a huge risk. I know I am not guaranteed anything in this search. I know it is a hard journey. But I have been through some of the hardest things in my lifetime , and if there was anything more I could give my efforts to, is to find my roots and experience my story from a different light. To find hope, to find joy, to heal, to grieve, to know who I am before I've had to be someone else. 


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The bond I share with my children, is that very same bond that I've been cheated from. How do you love with all of who you are, if you don't know who that is? While motherhood shares so much joy and love, it is one I struggle with because I never had my mom. I may not find those pieces back in its place, but I am hoping if I do find her, that I can heal those pieces that have been broken. 


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"Where are you mom?  I’m looking for you. I have always looked for you. My heart it hurts, but it hurts because it misses you. Where are you mom? Do you still want me? Have life been a little easier, because you just had yourself to care for? Did you find love? Did you have more kids? What do you smell like? Will I remember, as soon as I meet you? Your voice, will it bring back the early moments of life in your womb? Your touch, will it feel just as soft, and comforting the way mom’s touch feel? Where are you mom? I’m looking for you."

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Information: 

Birth Mother's Name: Susan Diaz Palma
Birth Mother's Age at Relinquishment: 27
Birth Mother's approx Year of Birth: 1961/1962
Birth Mother's Approx Age now: 56/57 Years old
Birth Mother's Originally From: Tondo, Manila
Birth Mother Moved to: De Lahar, Pampanga, Philippines
(now known as, Bacolor, Pampanga)

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Adoptive Father's Name: Ricardo Manlangit (Ric/Ricky/Carding/Cardo)
Adoptive Father's Age in 1988: 42
Adoptive Father's Hometown: Tondo, Manila, Philippines

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My name is Ma-An Palma Manlangit
Born: 1988
Age: 30
Relinquished Age: 8 Months
8 months - 9 Years old Lived: Tondo, Manila 
9 Years old - current citizen of: Canada

I don’t have a lot of information surrounding my relinquishment, nor do I have any legal adoption records to go by to head to any agencies for information in the Philippines. I was not adopted through any agencies or orphanages in The Philippines. It appears my adoption story is one common in the Philippines at the time it happened, and even now. Adoption within the poor communities is one done without any paper trace as a means of easy transactions. Thus making it that much more difficult to find leads. 

I have done Ancestry DNA but have only come up with fourth cousins too far down the line to know who my birth parents are. Having very little information to go by, it is one difficult to do from oceans away. I am truly hoping that by sharing my story with the world, that it may somehow reach her and find me the help I need to complete this journey. 

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I am hoping you would help me and extend your kindness and generousity my way. I can't tell what this journey truly means for my soul, but I know that these last four months have granted me so much hurt and wonder, that the loss and grief feel overwhelming. But there must always be hope. 

I don't expect you to give more than what you can. Even if it's $5, it helps! Every little bit helps! 

Please donate, and share my story (Facebook Search Page ), in hopes that it may find its way to her or those who may know her. 

Blog: BlackSheepMars 
Instagram: maan.adoptionjourney 



I thank you, for your generousity and kindness from the bottom of my heart. 



Thank you, for reading my story and carrying a piece of me in your heart.


xo, Ma-An



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UPDATE: August 5th, 2018

For months, I have been trying to get a hold of my adoptive father, in hopes he would find it in his heart to share with my information he holds about my birth mother/birth family. From the story he's told me only once, my entire life, none of it made sense, especially from the lack of connection in all of the different stories his relatives have shared with me.

Today, after talking to one of his best friends, who I had contacted in hopes of asking how my adoptive father was doing, he's shared with me the story my adoptive father has shared with him. They have known each other well before I even came to Canada, in 1997.

This is what he's told him:

My adoptive family knew my birth mother and her family. They were neighbours, almost like family friends. My birth mother and her family are poor. My adoptive father would help her by giving her money here and there to help, along with using her services quite common in the philippines - Clothes laundrer (by hand). My birth mother would often leave me with him and his family, while she worked. The last time my adoptive father tried giving me back to her, she declined. She didn't want to take me back. She couldn't. She felt unable to care for me, and she felt I would be a lot better off with their neighbour. She would soon after move to the province of Pampanga, De Lahar, where a volcano erupted in 1991. She gave me up at 8 months old (I was born in 1988), which means the time she and her family moved to the province would mean, she caught the eruption of the volcano there.

That eruption killed well over 700 people outside of the after math, but the decease, the loss, the devastation of what the eruption has left behind. According to research, people from that area were relocated to San Fernando, Pampanga. A next city by there to help people rebuild their lives, in a safer location away from the ashes and whatever gases left behind by the eruption.

According to my adoptive father who told his best friend that in the last few months while he was on vacation in the philippines this past december - may, that he tried inquiring about my birth mother, from their mutual neighbours in Tondo, Manila (where my adoptive father's family home, and birth mother originate from). They reconfirmed she and her family moved to Pampanga, and perhaps that devastation in 1991, might have affected their family, and she may have perished now.

So here I am, uncertain whether or not this search should move forward, or if I should put a halt to this search for all I may ever find are graves, and more questions that will never be answered.

Today, Bacolor, Pampanga from 2010 census has a population of 31, 508. The number I'm sure has risen, and there is a chance she could still be alive. Seeing as the amount of people who died from that eruption is of a total of a few villages only, there's still a chance, she or both her family and herself may have been relocated to San Fernando, Pampanga.

I have but a sliver of hope left. As long as there is still a bit of hope, perhaps that should count for still trying and maybe she's still alive somewhere, or someone who knew her before this devastation.

**My biological father left my birth mother after finding out she was pregnant. ** As for my bio father, I can't begin to even try to find him, as I know nothing of him. Not a name, not a location he was from, not an age, nothing. Perhaps, one day.

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Please help me by sharing this post, or notifying me of anyone you might know with this information:

Birth Mother's Name: Susan Diaz Palma
Birth Mother's Age at Relinquishment: 27
Birth Mother's approx Year of Birth: 1961/1962
Birth Mother's Approx Age now: 56/57 Years old
Birth Mother's Originally From: Tondo, Manila
Birth Mother Moved to: De Lahar, Pampanga, Philippines
(now known as, Bacolor, Pampanga)

++++

Adoptive Father's Name: Ricardo Manlangit (Ric/Ricky/Carding/Cardo)
Adoptive Father's Age in 1988: 42
Adoptive Father's Hometown: Tondo, Manila, Philippines

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My name is Ma-An Palma Manlangit
Born: 1988
Age: 30
Relinquished Age: 8 Months
8 months - 9 Years old Lived: Tondo, Manila
9 Years old - current citizen of: Canada

If you are from any of these locations: Bacolor, Pampanga / San Fernando, Pampanga

If you have any information or can help me, please do not hesitate to contact me with even the smallest of information. Please share my story, in hopes of this reaching perhaps extended relatives of Susan Diaz Palma.

Thank you so much!!

Ma-an
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I have just received my birth certificate that I requested under my birth mother’s name. Unfortunately, it is the same document as the one I already have. The difference is, the colour of the second copy I have is different from the one I already had. Which provided a little more ink on the information on it. The second page of my birth certificate is the affidavit of acknowledgment, which consist of my adoptive father’s signature, date of signature, and his passport number at the time. But it also has my birth mother’s signature which confirms her name to be true, date of signature and her passport number.

From here, I will try to research, if I can find information on her through this passport number. If anyone knows how I may be able to do this and where to go, please let me know.

I have also reached out and shared my story to a few Facebook pages that help with DNA reading and search angels who find stories such as mine fun to research. I have found a few individuals to help me with my DNA results when they come, and have offered assistance on genealogy research.

Here’s to hoping!

Until the next update please continue to share my campaign in hopes of helping me with my search.

Thank you!
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There hasn’t been much movement with my search. I have tried reaching out to “search angels” on Facebook who may have ways of finding information, but most of the search angels are based on doing searches in North America and Europe.

I am still waiting on the birth certificate I ordered under my birth mother’s name. Along with the results for my DNA sample with Ancestry. I decided to not retrieve my citizenship records because I feel like I’d be wasting ($75) the fund on papers that are all forged in the first place. I don’t feel like there would be any original documents on there that would help in my search. However in the future, I will retrieve those documents for my keeping.

I have been able to connect with an adoptee network which has individuals who have done the same - searching for birth family. I have been able to connect with one who leads a Filipino Adoptee Network based in New York. She may be able to connect me with a Genealogy Researcher to help with the little bit of information I have. So I’m waiting on that.

I have also reached out to a producer on a media network in the Philippines-Jessica Soho’s show who has covered a couple of reunion stories of adoptees from Australia and Belgium.

It appears to be a slow process starting this search and there’s a lot of waiting as I’m countries away and cannot dedicate time and effort quickly to attain documents or speak to specific authorities to help with the process.

Please continue to help my campaign and donate as every bit helps to get me closer to being able to travel to The Philippines.

Thank you

Ma-An
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1. I have requested a birth certificate under my mother’s name, from the Philippines in hopes there may be a registered one after my birth before she relinquished me.

2. I have also contacted Comelec, where they have data on individuals who have voted.

3. I will be doing a DNA test from Ancestry this weekend and will send it off Monday, in hopes of finding something in their database, before Mother’s Day rush.

This journey has just began for me, and I have met people who have been searching for what seems like all their life to find even just a little bit of who they are. I already feel like giving up.

What if she didn’t want me? What if she doesn’t want to be found? What if she’s no longer here to find? What if I’m just wasting my time and efforts for someone who’s moved on in life? What if I’m not supposed to go looking into the past?
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$595 of $4,000 goal

Raised by 15 people in 8 months
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SM
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shannen manlangit
3 months ago
AB
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RS
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