Get Jen Lenny on The Bachelor
Donation protected
Hello. My name is Jen Lenny. I'm an Atlanta comedian and I want to be a contestant on the next season of The Bachelor so I can find love.
I think asking for money via social media is rude. So I'm thinking of this as a social experiment. Could an average person work out hard enough and get enough money to alter her appearance to become a contestant on The Bachelor? How much would that cost? Should she?
Being an "attractive women" by Bachelor standards is incredibly expensive and time consuming. I think all humans are attractive, beautiful, and should be celebrated for who they are. The Bachelor really stuggles at this and at supporting diversity and this would be a way more interesting dialgoue.
But. Like.
How much would it take to get an average, straight, overweight white comedian to look like a Bachelor contestant?
Will she find love? Does anyone care?
I've employed a complex algorithm for TV hotness and it's:
$6,810.
Wow, right? That's crazy! No literally, it's crazy. It's crazy how much money it takes to live up to an arbitrary standard of beauty.
Dear Sir and/or Madam,
There are thousands of people and charities out there that actually help people who are in need, so please consider donating to them first:
http://lnfy.org/
http://www.handsonatlanta.org/
http://www.nuci.org/
http://www.positiveimpacthealthcenters.org/
http://www.acfb.org/
^Please donate to one of these amazing Atlanta organizations and if you're still interested in helping me find love, then ok crazy here we go-->
This number may sound large but it's actually pretty modest when you break down what it actually costs to look like a Bachelor contestant and here's how I arrived at this number:
OK. Let's assume that ABC reached out for contestants the same time of year as last year June 16. Let's say that's about 3 months time from now because you can probably submit online even later so I've probably got around 4-5 months to do this.
Things I would need over the next 4 months would be:
Gym Membership - $30/mo
Personal Trainer - $140/week
Not Shitty Food - $80/week
Nails & Eyebrows (+tip) - $120/mo
Hair Extensions (+tip) - $500
Teeth Whitening- $100
Hair coloring (+tip) - $115
Contouring Makeup/Moisturizers- $300
Hair Products (mists, balms, oils)- $250
Video Submission- $100
What if I get accepted to be a contestant on The Bachelor? Then I'll definitely need:
Sexy Rose Ceremony Dresses: $700
Amazing First Impression Shoes: $400
Fantasy Suite Date Lingerie: $200
Proposal-Worthy Anal Bleaching: $45 (Thank u, Chelsea!)
It's no secret that most of The Bachelor contestants come from very wealthy families and have access to these kinds of things on the regular. This is an attempt to level the playing field as a very regular person who bites her nails and has dry skin.
Some challenges that I anticipate in my journey are:
Not losing enough weight for hot tubs in bizarre locales. To combat this issue I will be going on a strict #bachelordiet and working out 6 days per week for 2 hrs/day. 4 of those days would be at the instruction of a personal trainer at Sarah Morgan Fitness. Getting in shape will, by far, be the hardest part but I'm prepared to start an annoying blog and rely on the support of my friends, my love for Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fear of being a social media failure to push me to work harder than when I was doing absolutely nothing.
Having have too many tattoos. What if, regardless of how TV looking I get, I'm never a good fit for The Bachelor? If this happens I'm prepared to petition #BachelorNation for a more "edgy Bachelor" or something by tweeting them every single day until they give up.
More than anything I want to find love. I would be thankful to everyone who shares an interest in reality TV and donates to this campaign. No donation is too big or too small when it comes to exploiting yourself on national television.
The first $300 I get will be used to pay for a fully loaded website for my blog www.journeytothebachelor.com. Check this out for updates and thanks for stopping by the journey.
Testimonials:
"Even if Jen doesn't make it as a contestant, at least let her do a comedy bit and let #bachelornation fall in love with her and make her the new The Bachelorette. In this day and age, we realize that any rule can be changed for the better, so why not change this rule that I don't understand about a show I don't watch."
-Julian Modugno, Atlanta Writer and Comedian
"So I guess she's like the people's bachelorette. Does she think it's going to work? Is this a bit? It's a bit isn't it. She does need that anus bleached tho."
-Ian Aber, Atlanta Comedian
I think asking for money via social media is rude. So I'm thinking of this as a social experiment. Could an average person work out hard enough and get enough money to alter her appearance to become a contestant on The Bachelor? How much would that cost? Should she?
Being an "attractive women" by Bachelor standards is incredibly expensive and time consuming. I think all humans are attractive, beautiful, and should be celebrated for who they are. The Bachelor really stuggles at this and at supporting diversity and this would be a way more interesting dialgoue.
But. Like.
How much would it take to get an average, straight, overweight white comedian to look like a Bachelor contestant?
Will she find love? Does anyone care?
I've employed a complex algorithm for TV hotness and it's:
$6,810.
Wow, right? That's crazy! No literally, it's crazy. It's crazy how much money it takes to live up to an arbitrary standard of beauty.
Dear Sir and/or Madam,
There are thousands of people and charities out there that actually help people who are in need, so please consider donating to them first:
http://lnfy.org/
http://www.handsonatlanta.org/
http://www.nuci.org/
http://www.positiveimpacthealthcenters.org/
http://www.acfb.org/
^Please donate to one of these amazing Atlanta organizations and if you're still interested in helping me find love, then ok crazy here we go-->
This number may sound large but it's actually pretty modest when you break down what it actually costs to look like a Bachelor contestant and here's how I arrived at this number:
OK. Let's assume that ABC reached out for contestants the same time of year as last year June 16. Let's say that's about 3 months time from now because you can probably submit online even later so I've probably got around 4-5 months to do this.
Things I would need over the next 4 months would be:
Gym Membership - $30/mo
Personal Trainer - $140/week
Not Shitty Food - $80/week
Nails & Eyebrows (+tip) - $120/mo
Hair Extensions (+tip) - $500
Teeth Whitening- $100
Hair coloring (+tip) - $115
Contouring Makeup/Moisturizers- $300
Hair Products (mists, balms, oils)- $250
Video Submission- $100
What if I get accepted to be a contestant on The Bachelor? Then I'll definitely need:
Sexy Rose Ceremony Dresses: $700
Amazing First Impression Shoes: $400
Fantasy Suite Date Lingerie: $200
Proposal-Worthy Anal Bleaching: $45 (Thank u, Chelsea!)
It's no secret that most of The Bachelor contestants come from very wealthy families and have access to these kinds of things on the regular. This is an attempt to level the playing field as a very regular person who bites her nails and has dry skin.
Some challenges that I anticipate in my journey are:
Not losing enough weight for hot tubs in bizarre locales. To combat this issue I will be going on a strict #bachelordiet and working out 6 days per week for 2 hrs/day. 4 of those days would be at the instruction of a personal trainer at Sarah Morgan Fitness. Getting in shape will, by far, be the hardest part but I'm prepared to start an annoying blog and rely on the support of my friends, my love for Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fear of being a social media failure to push me to work harder than when I was doing absolutely nothing.
Having have too many tattoos. What if, regardless of how TV looking I get, I'm never a good fit for The Bachelor? If this happens I'm prepared to petition #BachelorNation for a more "edgy Bachelor" or something by tweeting them every single day until they give up.
More than anything I want to find love. I would be thankful to everyone who shares an interest in reality TV and donates to this campaign. No donation is too big or too small when it comes to exploiting yourself on national television.
The first $300 I get will be used to pay for a fully loaded website for my blog www.journeytothebachelor.com. Check this out for updates and thanks for stopping by the journey.
Testimonials:
"Even if Jen doesn't make it as a contestant, at least let her do a comedy bit and let #bachelornation fall in love with her and make her the new The Bachelorette. In this day and age, we realize that any rule can be changed for the better, so why not change this rule that I don't understand about a show I don't watch."
-Julian Modugno, Atlanta Writer and Comedian
"So I guess she's like the people's bachelorette. Does she think it's going to work? Is this a bit? It's a bit isn't it. She does need that anus bleached tho."
-Ian Aber, Atlanta Comedian
Organizer
Jen Lenny
Organizer
Acworth, GA
