Jake's Top Surgery Fund [FTM]
Donation protected
Hello! My name is Jake, and I'm a 23 year old trans male. I graduated from art school last year, and currently I'm working part-time in a custom frame shop here in Tallahassee. I'm making this gofundme to help raise money for my gender affirming surgery.
Growing up:
I attended a religious private school where I was not allowed to explore my gender or sexuality. I was sheltered and unsure of who I was. When I told a classmate that I thought I might be bisexual, they immediately spread the information around until I was confronted by the school's head pastor. He threatened to put me through conversion therapy. I managed to convince him the rumor was false, but I definitely learned not to be public about my sexuality. Even after telling my mother about this, she still refused to let me leave the school. In her mind, I guess she thought maybe the school would "fix" me.
My high school years were hell. The fear of being expelled or put through therapy kept me from opening up to any of my classmates. I even learned some "friends" of the school were keeping an eye on me in public to make sure I wasn't dating girls! I was scared and thought the suffering would never end, and even contemplated suicide many times. But I put my faith in the statement "it gets better" and made it to graduation.
It did get better. Eventually. I experimented a lot with my gender expression after this, since I was unable to do any of that during school. I ended up dating a woman five years older than me (I was 18 at the time). She found out I was questioning my gender and told me that she would never be able to refer to me as anything but female pronouns and my birth name. She told me since she had seen me without clothes on, she wouldn't be able to think of me as anything other than a biological female and it would be too hard for her to refer to me by male or gender neutral terminology.
Any sensible person would have an issue with this, but I wasn't very sensible. I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had to conform to her vision of me in order for us to be happy. I kept my trans-ness a secret. I sacrificed my happiness for false stability in the relationship. I was a stupid kid. And this definitely took a toll on me; my depression was the worst it had ever been. I was sick constantly, and every day was a struggle to show up to my job or do my online assignments. I dated this person for three years. I didn't know this wasn't normal until I began talking to other trans folks and saw how their partners treated them. I knew I had to get out, and I did.
I came out as a trans male and moved to Savannah to complete my last year of college in person rather than online. I met so many incredible people from the lgbt+ community, including my roommate who became my best friend. I actually felt confident in myself, a feeling I had never felt before!
I started binding daily, for eight+ hours each time. Before T, I had a large chest. At my highest weight I had DD cups. Breathing was difficult, and I found myself light headed and in pain most of the time. To me, my flat chest was more important than my physical comfort, so I dealt with it.
Now:
I was finally able to start HRT, and it's been the most beneficial thing I have ever done for my mental well being. It and exercising did help lower my breast size somewhat, but I'm still at least a C cup. Currently I'm more than a year into treatment, and I find that I pass completely as male and would even consider myself more on the stealth side of being trans. I want to be able to do things like workout, go outside, swim, and just exist without having to constantly think about my binder and discomfort with my chest. Even with facial hair and a deep voice, I still get misgendered when I'm not binding. Nowadays it's hard for me to go even 4-5 hours wearing a binder, and I've had to stop wearing it daily like I used to be able to do. I've experimented with wearing sports bras, but it doesn't help much at all with concealing my chest and it worsens my dysphoria. I also can't work full time in my condition, which leaves me without health insurance. And I don't have support from my mother, who removed me from her insurance as soon as she found out I was on hormone therapy.
I've planned on getting top surgery for a long time now, and I think starting this gofundme is honestly a little overdue. At the moment, I have a few surgeons in mind and even have a price estimate. But with my part-time job, living expenses, student debt, and lack of insurance, the task of saving up for the operation is definitely daunting.
This is where you all come in. I'm hoping with your help, and with what I can save too, I will have enough to afford surgery in 2021. Ideally, I'd love to be able to have the surgery in 2020, but that just depends on how fast we're able to raise the necessary funds. The goal of $9,000 is to cover the cost of the surgery and the cost of travel.
If you spent the time to read the entirety of this, then thank you so much! I ask that if you can't donate, please share this on your social medias or with your friends/family to help find others who are able to give. Even small donations help (imagine if every person who saw this gave $5, we'd raise enough in no time!!), so please consider donating or spreading the gofundme link around. I really appreciate you all and wish you well!
Growing up:
I attended a religious private school where I was not allowed to explore my gender or sexuality. I was sheltered and unsure of who I was. When I told a classmate that I thought I might be bisexual, they immediately spread the information around until I was confronted by the school's head pastor. He threatened to put me through conversion therapy. I managed to convince him the rumor was false, but I definitely learned not to be public about my sexuality. Even after telling my mother about this, she still refused to let me leave the school. In her mind, I guess she thought maybe the school would "fix" me.
My high school years were hell. The fear of being expelled or put through therapy kept me from opening up to any of my classmates. I even learned some "friends" of the school were keeping an eye on me in public to make sure I wasn't dating girls! I was scared and thought the suffering would never end, and even contemplated suicide many times. But I put my faith in the statement "it gets better" and made it to graduation.
It did get better. Eventually. I experimented a lot with my gender expression after this, since I was unable to do any of that during school. I ended up dating a woman five years older than me (I was 18 at the time). She found out I was questioning my gender and told me that she would never be able to refer to me as anything but female pronouns and my birth name. She told me since she had seen me without clothes on, she wouldn't be able to think of me as anything other than a biological female and it would be too hard for her to refer to me by male or gender neutral terminology.
Any sensible person would have an issue with this, but I wasn't very sensible. I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had to conform to her vision of me in order for us to be happy. I kept my trans-ness a secret. I sacrificed my happiness for false stability in the relationship. I was a stupid kid. And this definitely took a toll on me; my depression was the worst it had ever been. I was sick constantly, and every day was a struggle to show up to my job or do my online assignments. I dated this person for three years. I didn't know this wasn't normal until I began talking to other trans folks and saw how their partners treated them. I knew I had to get out, and I did.
I came out as a trans male and moved to Savannah to complete my last year of college in person rather than online. I met so many incredible people from the lgbt+ community, including my roommate who became my best friend. I actually felt confident in myself, a feeling I had never felt before!
I started binding daily, for eight+ hours each time. Before T, I had a large chest. At my highest weight I had DD cups. Breathing was difficult, and I found myself light headed and in pain most of the time. To me, my flat chest was more important than my physical comfort, so I dealt with it.
Now:
I was finally able to start HRT, and it's been the most beneficial thing I have ever done for my mental well being. It and exercising did help lower my breast size somewhat, but I'm still at least a C cup. Currently I'm more than a year into treatment, and I find that I pass completely as male and would even consider myself more on the stealth side of being trans. I want to be able to do things like workout, go outside, swim, and just exist without having to constantly think about my binder and discomfort with my chest. Even with facial hair and a deep voice, I still get misgendered when I'm not binding. Nowadays it's hard for me to go even 4-5 hours wearing a binder, and I've had to stop wearing it daily like I used to be able to do. I've experimented with wearing sports bras, but it doesn't help much at all with concealing my chest and it worsens my dysphoria. I also can't work full time in my condition, which leaves me without health insurance. And I don't have support from my mother, who removed me from her insurance as soon as she found out I was on hormone therapy.
I've planned on getting top surgery for a long time now, and I think starting this gofundme is honestly a little overdue. At the moment, I have a few surgeons in mind and even have a price estimate. But with my part-time job, living expenses, student debt, and lack of insurance, the task of saving up for the operation is definitely daunting.
This is where you all come in. I'm hoping with your help, and with what I can save too, I will have enough to afford surgery in 2021. Ideally, I'd love to be able to have the surgery in 2020, but that just depends on how fast we're able to raise the necessary funds. The goal of $9,000 is to cover the cost of the surgery and the cost of travel.
If you spent the time to read the entirety of this, then thank you so much! I ask that if you can't donate, please share this on your social medias or with your friends/family to help find others who are able to give. Even small donations help (imagine if every person who saw this gave $5, we'd raise enough in no time!!), so please consider donating or spreading the gofundme link around. I really appreciate you all and wish you well!
Organizer
Jake D Scullion
Organizer
Tallahassee, FL