Help Norah keep her Daddy!
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Quick summary:
Kelly is going through a custody battle in Washington, where a majority of the court system still believe that a mother is always what's best for a child. He needs representation to help him fight for his rights as a father. He attempted to self represent but it became very clear that he needs legal assitance. We can handle payment plans with the attorney but we are in need of funds to pay for the retainer(upfront costs). Any donations that go unused by us, will be donated to
Father's Rights Movement so no matter what, the money will help fathers fight discrimination!
I understand that this is a bit lengthy but please read the whole thing, as we feel all the information provided is important to fully understand our situation and why we need help.
Full Story:
Hello everyone,
Thank you for taking time to read this. My name is Jennifer. My husband, Kelly, and I have a blended family. We both have daughters from previous relationships in which we share 50/50 with their other parents. My daughter(Jenna, 5) spends one week with her father and Kelly's daughter(Norah, 6) spends the same week with her mother. Then we get them both the next week (so we have them both at the same time) and so on and so forth. We do this because we believe it is important for children to spend an equal amount of time with each of their parents(assuming no abuse, drugs, neglect..etc is happening). We have been doing this successfully since September of 2014. Previous to this, Kelly never went more than a week at a time without seeing his daughter!
Kelly is one of the best dads I have ever seen. He and Norah are very close and have the kind of relationship every child dreams of having with their father. I could not have picked a better person to be my daughter's other dad, and Jenna's biological dad completely agrees with me on that(which says a lot). Anyone who knows us, can see that he is an amazing parent to both of our children.
Here's a bit of background on our situation. In August of 2015, Kelly received custody papers from Norah's mother. She is asking for full legal and physical custody and doesn't even want to give him summer vacations, Christmas break or Spring break. She is asking to give him every other weekend all year long.
This came as a surprise to us, as The Mother had never expressed concern or discontent with our current parenting plan previous to filing for full custody. She also, did not provide us with a reason for her change of heart. The only changes that occurred between the start of this parenting plan, and the day she filed, were that Kelly and I were purchasing a house and we were getting married. (The house is in the same school district as the apartment we moved from so our move did not change anything about Norah's ability to attend the same school.) Our response to her purposed parenting plan was requesting that the plan remain 50/50.
After doing some research, we found out that Washington(where The Mother lives and has filed) will not court appoint a 50/50 custody or parenting plan if one of the parties does not want it. This information told us, that we were going to lose Norah if we went in asking for our current parenting plan to continue. Therefore, we changed our response and we are now asking for full custody. Allowing The Mother every other weekend, summer vacation, and holiday breaks from school(I will touch back on this in a bit).
Our trial date was set for January 12th 2016. We came in, they gave their opening statements, at which point the judge decided he did not have enough information to make a fair ruling at that time. He then required that both Kelly and The Mother, meet with a person(the same person) of the court's choosing. They were each to sit down(at separate times) with that person and tell him exactly what they want from the court. That person, is then, supposed to give a statement to the judge, explaining what each of the parties want.
This is where we need help!
The Mother had her appointment first. Followed by Kelly. When Kelly came in, the man was rude and would not let Kelly say what he was there to say. The man was continuously interrupting Kelly and telling him how he feels like The Mother is in the right and would not allow Kelly to defend himself or even state his side(which is the point in the meeting). Kelly left so unhappy and terrified that he has lost this case because the person giving the statements to the judge didn't give him a chance to speak and favors the other party.
We were under the impression that this man was supposed to be an unbiased, neutral party who's sole responsibility was to take their statements and give them to the judge. We have called a few different attorneys, all of which have said that what happened was not okay and that Kelly needs to lawyer up because they are not being fair. We have been told to seek out a Father's Rights Attorney because the court is discriminating against him.
That's all well and good except, we just bought a house. Our down payment and home repairs emptied our savings account. We can handle payment plans with an attorney but they all require a retainer of $4,000 - $8,000 upfront. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of money lying around and our next court date is March 17th. That is not very much time to save money, hire an attorney and prepare for trial.
Currently:
The Mother lives in Washington but works in Oregon about a mile from Norah's school.
We live in Oregon and use our address for Norah to be able to attend school in West Linn where she has friends that date back to pre-school, as Norah grew up in West Linn.
After school, Norah goes to her mother's work or goes home to our house.
If The Mother succeeds:
Norah will become a resident of Washington, no longer allowing her to continue to attend her current school in West Linn.
Norah will then be placed in a school in Washington leaving her 45+ minutes away from either parent during the day, as they both work in Oregon.
Norah will have to attend daycare after school.
Norah will only have visitation with her father every other weekend and will barely get to see him during this time, as he works weekends.
Norah's relationship with her sister and her relationship with myself will suffer as well.
The Mother will not compromise on any part of her requested parenting plan
If Kelly succeeds:
Norah will be an Oregon resident and will not have to change schools and friends.
Norah will be able to come home after school every day.
Norah will continue to have a close relationship with her father, sister, and myself.
Kelly will allow The Mother to continue with the 50/50 parenting plan if she so desires at that time and he will be flexible with visitation, allowing her to also remain close to her mother.
We went into this battle thinking it was a no brainer for the court but have become brutally aware that Kelly's status as a father has made things far more difficult, and the opposing party's status being The Mother, almost guarantees success(for no other reason than, she's the mom)if Kelly continues to represent himself.
We hate to ask for help but it has come to a point where we need to set aside our pride and do everything we can to fight for our little girl. If that means we have to ask for a little assistance than, so be it! We are doing everything we can to keep this Father Daughter bond strong and healthy! Every little bit helps. If we come out of this successful, you all will have helped save their precious relationship and you will have helped one more dad fight the system for his rights as a parent. Any donations that go unused by us, will be donated to
Father's Rights Movement
so no matter what, the money will help fathers fight discrimination!
Kelly is going through a custody battle in Washington, where a majority of the court system still believe that a mother is always what's best for a child. He needs representation to help him fight for his rights as a father. He attempted to self represent but it became very clear that he needs legal assitance. We can handle payment plans with the attorney but we are in need of funds to pay for the retainer(upfront costs). Any donations that go unused by us, will be donated to
Father's Rights Movement so no matter what, the money will help fathers fight discrimination!
I understand that this is a bit lengthy but please read the whole thing, as we feel all the information provided is important to fully understand our situation and why we need help.
Full Story:
Hello everyone,
Thank you for taking time to read this. My name is Jennifer. My husband, Kelly, and I have a blended family. We both have daughters from previous relationships in which we share 50/50 with their other parents. My daughter(Jenna, 5) spends one week with her father and Kelly's daughter(Norah, 6) spends the same week with her mother. Then we get them both the next week (so we have them both at the same time) and so on and so forth. We do this because we believe it is important for children to spend an equal amount of time with each of their parents(assuming no abuse, drugs, neglect..etc is happening). We have been doing this successfully since September of 2014. Previous to this, Kelly never went more than a week at a time without seeing his daughter!
Kelly is one of the best dads I have ever seen. He and Norah are very close and have the kind of relationship every child dreams of having with their father. I could not have picked a better person to be my daughter's other dad, and Jenna's biological dad completely agrees with me on that(which says a lot). Anyone who knows us, can see that he is an amazing parent to both of our children.
Here's a bit of background on our situation. In August of 2015, Kelly received custody papers from Norah's mother. She is asking for full legal and physical custody and doesn't even want to give him summer vacations, Christmas break or Spring break. She is asking to give him every other weekend all year long.
This came as a surprise to us, as The Mother had never expressed concern or discontent with our current parenting plan previous to filing for full custody. She also, did not provide us with a reason for her change of heart. The only changes that occurred between the start of this parenting plan, and the day she filed, were that Kelly and I were purchasing a house and we were getting married. (The house is in the same school district as the apartment we moved from so our move did not change anything about Norah's ability to attend the same school.) Our response to her purposed parenting plan was requesting that the plan remain 50/50.
After doing some research, we found out that Washington(where The Mother lives and has filed) will not court appoint a 50/50 custody or parenting plan if one of the parties does not want it. This information told us, that we were going to lose Norah if we went in asking for our current parenting plan to continue. Therefore, we changed our response and we are now asking for full custody. Allowing The Mother every other weekend, summer vacation, and holiday breaks from school(I will touch back on this in a bit).
Our trial date was set for January 12th 2016. We came in, they gave their opening statements, at which point the judge decided he did not have enough information to make a fair ruling at that time. He then required that both Kelly and The Mother, meet with a person(the same person) of the court's choosing. They were each to sit down(at separate times) with that person and tell him exactly what they want from the court. That person, is then, supposed to give a statement to the judge, explaining what each of the parties want.
This is where we need help!
The Mother had her appointment first. Followed by Kelly. When Kelly came in, the man was rude and would not let Kelly say what he was there to say. The man was continuously interrupting Kelly and telling him how he feels like The Mother is in the right and would not allow Kelly to defend himself or even state his side(which is the point in the meeting). Kelly left so unhappy and terrified that he has lost this case because the person giving the statements to the judge didn't give him a chance to speak and favors the other party.
We were under the impression that this man was supposed to be an unbiased, neutral party who's sole responsibility was to take their statements and give them to the judge. We have called a few different attorneys, all of which have said that what happened was not okay and that Kelly needs to lawyer up because they are not being fair. We have been told to seek out a Father's Rights Attorney because the court is discriminating against him.
That's all well and good except, we just bought a house. Our down payment and home repairs emptied our savings account. We can handle payment plans with an attorney but they all require a retainer of $4,000 - $8,000 upfront. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of money lying around and our next court date is March 17th. That is not very much time to save money, hire an attorney and prepare for trial.
Currently:
The Mother lives in Washington but works in Oregon about a mile from Norah's school.
We live in Oregon and use our address for Norah to be able to attend school in West Linn where she has friends that date back to pre-school, as Norah grew up in West Linn.
After school, Norah goes to her mother's work or goes home to our house.
If The Mother succeeds:
Norah will become a resident of Washington, no longer allowing her to continue to attend her current school in West Linn.
Norah will then be placed in a school in Washington leaving her 45+ minutes away from either parent during the day, as they both work in Oregon.
Norah will have to attend daycare after school.
Norah will only have visitation with her father every other weekend and will barely get to see him during this time, as he works weekends.
Norah's relationship with her sister and her relationship with myself will suffer as well.
The Mother will not compromise on any part of her requested parenting plan
If Kelly succeeds:
Norah will be an Oregon resident and will not have to change schools and friends.
Norah will be able to come home after school every day.
Norah will continue to have a close relationship with her father, sister, and myself.
Kelly will allow The Mother to continue with the 50/50 parenting plan if she so desires at that time and he will be flexible with visitation, allowing her to also remain close to her mother.
We went into this battle thinking it was a no brainer for the court but have become brutally aware that Kelly's status as a father has made things far more difficult, and the opposing party's status being The Mother, almost guarantees success(for no other reason than, she's the mom)if Kelly continues to represent himself.
We hate to ask for help but it has come to a point where we need to set aside our pride and do everything we can to fight for our little girl. If that means we have to ask for a little assistance than, so be it! We are doing everything we can to keep this Father Daughter bond strong and healthy! Every little bit helps. If we come out of this successful, you all will have helped save their precious relationship and you will have helped one more dad fight the system for his rights as a parent. Any donations that go unused by us, will be donated to
Father's Rights Movement
so no matter what, the money will help fathers fight discrimination!
Organizer
Jennifer Curtiss
Organizer
Oatfield, OR
