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HIS NAME WAS DILLAN!

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To all who read this... It is with the worst sorrow I have ever experienced that I type these words. Friday night after work I looked on facebook and saw a video of a man being shot repeatedly at a convenience store. For a breif moment I thought, this could be my son. I watched it over a few times, and tried to get a better view of his face but it was too distorted to tell. I noticed that the manerism of him flipping back his hair was so familiar. I started texting people and trying to locate my son. During this time his older brother came to the door with a look that will forever remain in my mind. I knew what was about to be said.
The video of the man being barraged with bullets was my baby.
I have sat out at 7 Eleven  every night since this happend because its the only way I can be near him. He has not been released and I can't see him. During this time countless people have offered such heartfelt sorrow and tears. I saw the pain in their eyes from experiencing the video for themselves. I feel as a community we have all experienced the agonizing impact of this tragedy. These horrible images wont stop playing in my mind and I know I am not alone in this.
People have handed me money even when I try to refuse it, they just want to do something.
I am creating this page for those who want to help lay my son to rest. Huntington Beach was his home, and where we want to bury him. All services will be announced as they are scheduled. The public is welcome to come mourn with us.
______________________________________________

My name is John, and on Friday night I watched, over and over, as my older brother, Dillan Tabares, was shot and killed by a Huntington Beach police officer. I know that it has been all over the news and there are individuals with many different beliefs about the situation, but I wanted to take a couple moments of your time to tell you who that young man at the 7 Eleven really was. His name was Dillan Tabares. He was an incredibly intelligent, loving, misunderstood young man. After losing his father at a young age, Dillan was put through a gauntlet of tragedies that no person should be force to endure in one lifetime. My brother eventually found solid ground by joining the United States Navy as an Informations Systems Techinician and served our country for years. I watched as the boy I grew up with became a man and built a life with a career, home, and most importantly a future. As he grew older, and experienced the challenges of serving his country in war zones, my brother began to struggle with issues of mental illness and was eventually discharged due to these issues. Losing all of his military benefits, along with his career, home, and future, my brother was driven back to a life of being a misfit in our society.
Debating the politics of the situation is not going to bring my brother back. Instead I am attempting to focus on keeping this tragedy respectful and laying my brother to rest as peacefully as possible. All help is greatfully appreciated and all funds will go directly to services for my big brother. Thank you.
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The total cost of Dillan's services came to $21,694.92 . The cemetery worked with me to pay half up front and payments on the rest. The gofundme totally covered the mortuary costs of $6719.11.
It was so important to bury him in Huntington Beach because this was his home. I cannot tell you how important this was to our family Having his ceremony be so peaceful and loving was so needed after the violence of his death. Gratitude beyond words.
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Dillans Eulogy
First I would like to express my appreciation for all the support and love that has been given to our family since Dillan's passing. It reminds us all that there is warmth and beauty to hold on to, even in such a difficult time.

His name was Dillan but sometimes we called him Beazer. It was one of those nicknames that just happens. As a baby I would call him Beazer Boo Boo. As he got older I had to drop the Boo Boo part of the name because it really wasn't too cool.

I want all of you to know that there was a story before this one.
Dillan was a very wanted baby. He walked, talked and questioned at a very early age. You know at 3 years old, kids go through that why stage. Why is this, why is that.....Dillan never really passed that stage.

I can recall finding him on our front porch one day. He was probably about 7 and he was crying. He had just saw one of those commercials with children struggling in other countries and he asked me how it was that we could have so much while they all had so little. I couldn't answer his question. From a very young age Dillan asked such questions.
He did not sit still well. There was always something to do, or somewhere to go. One absolute exception to this was when that boy was on a video game. Omg getting him off those games was damn near impossible sometimes. I would say…Dillan we have to go and he He would respond with " I can't save now mom, I’m at a boss, just let me finish this level. 

When thinking of memories of Dillan my mind goes to the times I would pick him up from camp. I never quite understood how a boy could get so very dirty. That sweaty, sticky puppy dog smell would fill the entire car. He would jump in with the energy that only a child could have. He would be overflowing with the stories to tell about all the adventures he had. He would teach me the camp songs and I would hear him singing them for months.

Dillan's was very good at pointing out things that didn't make sense. At school he was the round peg in a square hole. He would as me why on earth he had to do hours of homework, take notes and study, when all he had to do was listen to the teacher and he could ace the test. He had a very good point.

Dillan was not afraid to go against the current. His sister had long been the ballerina of the family. With her encouragement Dillan signed up for ballet classes and appeared in the Nutcracker performance with his sister. His buddies gave him a hard time for this. This hard core, black nail polish wearing teen started dancing. You had to look at it from Dillan logic though. He spent hours and hours in classes with beautiful young ladies and he was the only boy. I swear I can see the grin on his face as I write this story.

I can hear sounds of his skateboard dropping, turning and flipping. Him and his brothers would spend hours upon hours trying to perfect their tricks. The resiliency of their bodies was amazing. They would fall and bounce and wreck themselves and get up to try again harder. I would have a countless flow of young men in my house. Dillan loved his friends deeply. They already know this though.

Before Dillan actually graduated from High School, he tried to enlist. I believe it was his way to stand up to injustice. He was a quiet young man but these actions showed his heart. Initially the Navy told him he had to graduate first but after testing they realized how amazingly intelligent he was and they waived this rule. He served this county for 3 years, 9 months and 9 days. During this time he walked with the dignity and pride earned by a soldier of the United States Navy. He never really talked about what happened when he was serving. But I know the boy that left came back a different man.


As a parent we try to protect our children from the evils of the world. We try to soften their path and keep them safe. I am so very sorry Dillan that I could not protect you.

Two days ago I saw your body. I saw your wounds. I desperately wanted to go back in time. Back to the time when you were a little boy and would stumble and come up to me and ask me to kiss your boo boo. There was always such magic in those kisses. You would toddle off all better. Dear God I wish I could do that now. I pray that God is going to heal your wounds now. That all your questions are answered and that heaven is a place that makes perfect sense to you.
 
I do not understand why this battle has been brought to our family but I swear with all that is precious to me that we will honor your life Dillan and we will hold people accountable for the way your life ended.

I know Leilani, Sofina, Lucian, Charity, Brandon and Jt will all honor your name by doing what they can to make the world better too. They all loved you so much.

I understand that this is our fight and that your fight is now over. In your words I will tell you. I cant come right now. I cant save right now, I am fighting a boss, just let me finish this level.
I will be there when its time. We will all be there when its time.
I ask God to hold you in his arms until all of us can see you again. 






Pallbearers
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Services for Dillan J Tabares

Visitation
Wednesday October 4th
5:00 pm to 8:00pm
St. Wilfred of York
18631 Chapel Lane
Huntington Beach, Ca 92646


Funeral Mass
Thursday October 5th
10:00am
St. John the Baptist Catholic Church
1015 Baker St
Costa Mesa, Ca 92626


As a message of peace we ask that anyone attending the Funeral Mass dress in white.
Burial services will be private
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Good morning everyone. I want to share a few things that happened yesterday.
With family, I walked around the cemetery and tried to find the right place to lay Dillan down.
I sat on a spot that I thought could be the right place and his cousin noticed that there was an American flag blowing in the background. We thought that might be a good indication. We walked around some more and came back to this spot. The sprinklers were then turned on and the sunlight lit up a rainbow in the area. I smiled and said all I need is a bird to come flutter around to cement the decision. We again turned to another site but as we again turned back, a beautiful hawk was soaring over our heads. We all were astonished and knew our question was answered.
We anticipate the funeral being Thursday now. The service will be open to anyone who wants /needs to mourn with us. We are asking that everyone wear white as a sign of peace.
I will update as I know more. We will also leave information about services posted at the memorial at 7Eleven. Please keep praying.
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$8,150 of $15,000 goal

Raised by 116 people in 23 months
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