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Those who've been following my memoir (CLEvangelism.com) know my so-called Christian father beat and choked my mom for 15 years until she and my mentally handicapped, diabetic, and epileptic brother fled to a domestic violence shelter in 1999.
You also know I started dating an alcoholic before I even moved out and that I unwittingly moved in with a porn addict at age 21. At age 23, I fell in love with a player, and then I got involved with a former coworker who had schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. November 17, 2001 – a day I will never forget – he stopped taking all nine (nine!) meds, including lithium. By 5 p.m., he told me my face was melting, and he could see bone.
December 2, 2002, after being diagnosed with HPV and being told I needed surgery as soon as possible to remove cervical cancer cells, I suffered a nervous breakdown as I left my gynecologist’s office. After a 36-hour stay in a psych ward and two outpatient surgeries, I started taking an antidepressant and became easy prey for a man who date raped me.
Since then, I’ve had breast lumps, a cervical cancer recurrence, a forehead tumor, and leaky gut syndrome, which caused a ridiculous number of food allergies and forced me to give up every food I ever loved.
In 2007, my mom committed suicide, and I buried her two days after my 32nd birthday. My brother died six weeks later, leaving me familyless.
Little did I know that all of this was just practice for the drama a man and his millennial daughters would provide over the next 11 years.
I became a Christian in early 2014 because I woke up to a scary lump on my forehead, and televangelists kept saying my life would get better.
"God wants you to live life abundantly," they said. "He wants to give you beauty for ashes."
That sounded good!
But they left out the part about God putting you through all sorts of trials and tribulations to refine you. Here’s just a sampling of what has happened to me since the day I said the sinner's prayer:
I lost my job my first day of vacation on a Hawaiian island in October 2014.
My cat Titus died unexpectedly and painfully the morning of New Year's Eve 2014.
My 751 credit rating dropped to "poor," and my credit card balance skyrocketed as I worked a $9/hour job because I couldn't find anything else when I came home from Hawaii and needed to take out cash advances to pay rent.
I lost my ability to go to my gym (i.e., my happy place) or get my roots done.
I lost my ability to travel (which is the only thing aside from my gym that makes me happy).
I had to give up having a car when my lease expired. For the past two+ years, I have walked six to 13 miles per day in a city Forbes has ranked one of the "worst winter cities."
I learned I have a kidney condition that could cause kidney failure or death after my library called an ambulance for me in December 2015.
Shortly after losing my car, I developed osteoarthritis in my hip, and sometimes it feels like rusty jaws of life clamping down on my entire leg.
I’ve gone up to five days without food (the Bible says we're worth more than sparrows and that, like birds, we aren't to worry about what we'll eat because God will supply it, but God’s idea of giving us what we need and our idea of giving us what we need are two different things).
My cat and I had to move from a high-rise condo on the lake to a slumlord-owned condo. The guy had said all utilities were included in his Craigslist ad, but once I moved in, I learned otherwise. My electric bill averages $125 per month in the summer and winter because he installed heavy-duty heating/air-conditioning units that hotels have in their rooms.
This month, I fell behind in rent by $200, so the guy who bought the building from my slumlord last November is evicting my furry family and me. Since I have already sold most of what I owned (TVs, a stereo, tables/chairs, and the living room furniture I took from my mom's place in 2007), we could use your help.
I'm trying to raise enough money for a security deposit and first month's rent. If you could spare anything, it would be appreciated.
You also know I started dating an alcoholic before I even moved out and that I unwittingly moved in with a porn addict at age 21. At age 23, I fell in love with a player, and then I got involved with a former coworker who had schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. November 17, 2001 – a day I will never forget – he stopped taking all nine (nine!) meds, including lithium. By 5 p.m., he told me my face was melting, and he could see bone.
December 2, 2002, after being diagnosed with HPV and being told I needed surgery as soon as possible to remove cervical cancer cells, I suffered a nervous breakdown as I left my gynecologist’s office. After a 36-hour stay in a psych ward and two outpatient surgeries, I started taking an antidepressant and became easy prey for a man who date raped me.
Since then, I’ve had breast lumps, a cervical cancer recurrence, a forehead tumor, and leaky gut syndrome, which caused a ridiculous number of food allergies and forced me to give up every food I ever loved.
In 2007, my mom committed suicide, and I buried her two days after my 32nd birthday. My brother died six weeks later, leaving me familyless.
Little did I know that all of this was just practice for the drama a man and his millennial daughters would provide over the next 11 years.
I became a Christian in early 2014 because I woke up to a scary lump on my forehead, and televangelists kept saying my life would get better."God wants you to live life abundantly," they said. "He wants to give you beauty for ashes."
That sounded good!
But they left out the part about God putting you through all sorts of trials and tribulations to refine you. Here’s just a sampling of what has happened to me since the day I said the sinner's prayer:
I lost my job my first day of vacation on a Hawaiian island in October 2014.
My cat Titus died unexpectedly and painfully the morning of New Year's Eve 2014.My 751 credit rating dropped to "poor," and my credit card balance skyrocketed as I worked a $9/hour job because I couldn't find anything else when I came home from Hawaii and needed to take out cash advances to pay rent.
I lost my ability to go to my gym (i.e., my happy place) or get my roots done.
I lost my ability to travel (which is the only thing aside from my gym that makes me happy).
I had to give up having a car when my lease expired. For the past two+ years, I have walked six to 13 miles per day in a city Forbes has ranked one of the "worst winter cities."
I learned I have a kidney condition that could cause kidney failure or death after my library called an ambulance for me in December 2015.
Shortly after losing my car, I developed osteoarthritis in my hip, and sometimes it feels like rusty jaws of life clamping down on my entire leg.
I’ve gone up to five days without food (the Bible says we're worth more than sparrows and that, like birds, we aren't to worry about what we'll eat because God will supply it, but God’s idea of giving us what we need and our idea of giving us what we need are two different things).
My cat and I had to move from a high-rise condo on the lake to a slumlord-owned condo. The guy had said all utilities were included in his Craigslist ad, but once I moved in, I learned otherwise. My electric bill averages $125 per month in the summer and winter because he installed heavy-duty heating/air-conditioning units that hotels have in their rooms. This month, I fell behind in rent by $200, so the guy who bought the building from my slumlord last November is evicting my furry family and me. Since I have already sold most of what I owned (TVs, a stereo, tables/chairs, and the living room furniture I took from my mom's place in 2007), we could use your help. I'm trying to raise enough money for a security deposit and first month's rent. If you could spare anything, it would be appreciated.
Organizer
Randzi Miller
Organizer
Westlake, OH
