Help Me and My Kids Survive Divorce
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I’m currently in the middle of a messy divorce, and my wife and I are having a custody battle over our three children. It’s a long story, but I’ll try to keep it to the basics, and if people are interested, I can share more in future updates.
So: after 14 years of marriage, I knew my wife and were having some relationship problems, but I had not realized the extent to which our marriage was in danger. In February 2016, I was struggling with depression, and I ended up looking for help by admitting myself to a mental health facility for a short stay. While I was in the hospital, my wife decided to file for divorce. Ever since then, I’ve been fighting to get my life back in order and regain some semblance of normalcy with our children, but it has involved months of legal battles, and during much of that time, I was only able to see my children under supervision. It’s only been recently that I’ve finally been able to prove that I’m not a danger to my kids, and they are now able to stay with me part of the time, with the amount of time hopefully increasing in the near future.
I’ve always been a very involved father, from the moment my kids were born. In fact, I would say that I’ve been their primary caretaker, having changed the majority of the diapers, fed them the majority of their meals, and spent the majority of the time playing and interacting with them. I was almost always the one to take them to school in the morning, drive them to doctor appointments and extracurricular activities, prepare their lunches, help them with their homework, and stay home from work with them when they were sick. I’ve been there with them nearly every day of their lives, and it’s killing me that no matter what happens, I’m not going to be able to be there for them every day from now on. Walking away from my children was never an option for me.
I’m continuing to fight to be there for my kids and be the best father I’m able to be, and I’m not doing it out of spite or revenge, no matter how hurt and betrayed I feel. I’m ready to move on with my life as a single father. I simply want what’s best for our children, and that is to have both their mother and their father in their lives as much as possible. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m willing to cooperate with my wife as much as possible in raising them, and I think we should share joint custody and divide parenting time equally.
Unfortunately, getting to the point where that is possible has been an uphill battle, but I refuse to stop fighting for what’s best for my kids. The resulting legal battles have resulted in thousands of dollars in legal fees, and I’m getting to the point where I don’t know how long I’ll be able to continue paying them. I’ve maxed out my credit cards, but I still owe more money to my lawyer, and I don’t know where I’m going to get it, or what’s going to happen if I can’t. If I end up having go without legal representation, I could lose everything.
So, I'm looking to raise $5,000, which will hopefully be enough to cover the money I owe my lawyer and the remaining legal fees that completing the divorce will require, as well as help me start paying back some of the money I've borrowed from family members. I know it’s a lot to ask people to contribute to help someone else out, but I’m scared that I’m going to end up having spent tens of thousands of dollars, and even after all that time and money, I’ll have nothing to show for it, and my children will be limited to only seeing me a couple times a month. If you can help in any way, I would greatly appreciate it, and I know my children will too someday, since they deserve to have me be the best father I can be.
So: after 14 years of marriage, I knew my wife and were having some relationship problems, but I had not realized the extent to which our marriage was in danger. In February 2016, I was struggling with depression, and I ended up looking for help by admitting myself to a mental health facility for a short stay. While I was in the hospital, my wife decided to file for divorce. Ever since then, I’ve been fighting to get my life back in order and regain some semblance of normalcy with our children, but it has involved months of legal battles, and during much of that time, I was only able to see my children under supervision. It’s only been recently that I’ve finally been able to prove that I’m not a danger to my kids, and they are now able to stay with me part of the time, with the amount of time hopefully increasing in the near future.
I’ve always been a very involved father, from the moment my kids were born. In fact, I would say that I’ve been their primary caretaker, having changed the majority of the diapers, fed them the majority of their meals, and spent the majority of the time playing and interacting with them. I was almost always the one to take them to school in the morning, drive them to doctor appointments and extracurricular activities, prepare their lunches, help them with their homework, and stay home from work with them when they were sick. I’ve been there with them nearly every day of their lives, and it’s killing me that no matter what happens, I’m not going to be able to be there for them every day from now on. Walking away from my children was never an option for me.
I’m continuing to fight to be there for my kids and be the best father I’m able to be, and I’m not doing it out of spite or revenge, no matter how hurt and betrayed I feel. I’m ready to move on with my life as a single father. I simply want what’s best for our children, and that is to have both their mother and their father in their lives as much as possible. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m willing to cooperate with my wife as much as possible in raising them, and I think we should share joint custody and divide parenting time equally.
Unfortunately, getting to the point where that is possible has been an uphill battle, but I refuse to stop fighting for what’s best for my kids. The resulting legal battles have resulted in thousands of dollars in legal fees, and I’m getting to the point where I don’t know how long I’ll be able to continue paying them. I’ve maxed out my credit cards, but I still owe more money to my lawyer, and I don’t know where I’m going to get it, or what’s going to happen if I can’t. If I end up having go without legal representation, I could lose everything.
So, I'm looking to raise $5,000, which will hopefully be enough to cover the money I owe my lawyer and the remaining legal fees that completing the divorce will require, as well as help me start paying back some of the money I've borrowed from family members. I know it’s a lot to ask people to contribute to help someone else out, but I’m scared that I’m going to end up having spent tens of thousands of dollars, and even after all that time and money, I’ll have nothing to show for it, and my children will be limited to only seeing me a couple times a month. If you can help in any way, I would greatly appreciate it, and I know my children will too someday, since they deserve to have me be the best father I can be.
Organizer
Matthew J. Brady
Organizer
Aurora, IL
