I had the opportunity to get to know Diedre through the process of being interviewed by her for the TeleSummit and through the processing of all the paperwork, and then by meeting and getting to know her at the Symposium. Pam Salem, who has known Diedre for twenty years, caught the essence of Diedre in her comment to GoFundMe:
"I have known Diedre for twenty years. One of the impressive things I was told about the Symposium was that it went off beautifully with no drama drawn to her [health] condition, but focus on the wonderful experience for the participants. That is Diedre. She is attentive to detail and is very organized, with high integrity. "
A Challenging Symposium
Talking to Diedre at the Symposium I learned about many of the hurdles she had to deal with to put on the event. The challenges ranged from:
· Our President’s Muslim Ban causing many international attendees to drop out
· The Sawmill fires that broke out, threatened the event and caused changes in travel plans, and requests for refunds
· The breakdown of her car trying to get to Arizona
· Her horses not being able to be brought with her to utilize in the Symposium
There were many more challenges. These are just some of the ones that are top of mind.
The sad part for me, as a business person, was that the event ended up not making money for Diedre. After months of hard work and sacrifice on her part, I found that particularly discouraging.
Helping a Friend
I started this GoFundMe campaign because of the information I just shared - the dedication to an excellent event, dealing with all kinds of challenges, coming away entirely broke, not to mention feeling sick throughout the whole thing. That was enough to have me set up this fund!
And Then Things Got Worse
A few days after I set the fund up, I learned that Diedre was hospitalized! I wasn't too surprised honestly. She had been under so much pressure and she had been so sick, she was a candidate for some break down in health! I was just glad to hear that she was getting proper care and rest.
But the news coming from Diedre at the hospital took a turn when she told me that it was looking like cancer. Several days later, the doctors confirmed the suspicion - it was Ovarian Cancer.
. . . And Worse
Sometime last week, in one of Diedre's posts that she shared, she revealed the fact that she doesn't have medical insurance! My heart sunk.
I called her to find out she was in bed doing her taxes for 2016 (she planned to file late). She wasn't doing them to get a tax return, she was doing them because in order to get financial aid and get medical treatment, she now has to prove she needs it!
When I last talked to Diedre she was considering all of her options. Her ability to get medical care is still uncertain and she may decide to use alternative treatments.
She has friends selling off all of her personal possessions which are in storage and she is selling her car. She doesn't have any income and the money we are sending her is her lifeline.
Right now she is in a fight for her life, and the only possession she hopes to hold onto besides her life, are her horses.
Casting a Wider Net and Raising the Bar
Friends and colleagues of Diedre have been contacting me. We all know that Diedre needs more financial support. The $5000 fund is helpful, but completely inadequate to help her in the months ahead.
So, I asked Diedre to release her contact list to me so that I could send this GoFundMe campaign out to more people and I am raising the amount to a new goal of $20,000.
Will that be enough? I doubt it. But it is a modest place to start until we get more information on what her needs are going to be.
On Healing and Help
As part of her healing, Diedre's focus right now is on living and building a dream for the future. Here is one dream she has shared:
“. . . [a] vision of living in the Pacific NW or SE Alaska with all my horses, a lodge or center with a team of people who deeply love wilderness, wildness, healing, meadows, beaches, a hangar that gets taken over as hay barn/indoor arena. . .”
“. . . help me envision my future, and perhaps you could do that by envisioning OUR future! . . . feel free to email notes to the emails you find on Collective newsletters or our correspondence. . . .
Diedre asks that . . . "we all allow the magic to fill the pause for something new to happen.”
Other ways to help? "I'd love to get recipes of cancer-killing foods . . . send simple tidbits of knowledge [on curing cancer] I can collect in a binder and review."
Diedre's outlook is positive. She believes this all happened for a reason. She says, “I feel very sure I'll live. . . . I observe all the roadblocks to love and wellness that I encounter --personal, institutional, and I wonder at them. And I release all that, and watch it flow."
I want to thank all of you that helped us reach our initial goal. The money is such a positive statement that the Collective and so many others are here to support her.
We love you Diedre!
We've raised over $13,000 thus far and are only $6,912 from hitting our goal of $20,000. If you are compelled, please consider making a contribution today. Diedre doesn't know how to ask for more help right now, so I am asking you for her. No financial contribution is too small. And all of your contributions - whether in the form of a financial contribution, a prayer, or a short message - mean so much!
I am honored to be a part of this community.
Other post-surgery, new life challenges are:
• No money or ready income—add to this my six-figure medical bills.
• My plans to gather all assets and liquidate got the “no” by my inner guidance, and when I tried to act anyway earlier this month, the outer world slammed the door(s). It’s good to have the inner no evidenced in the outer world, I suppose, but it’s not always easy on the nervous system. Thus, I had a meltdown on FB one day mid-January that led to a request for an update and, finally, an internal sense of a “go ahead,” allowing me to break a long-held, albeit unintentional silence.
A bit of context, for those who haven’t heard it already: When I started this life-journey stint as a live-in guest in my then-estranged brother’s house 2 years ago, I had a lot of money from a divorce; I had a vision for what would come next (meaning, in six months or so!) given to me through constellations with the horses; and I had my own plan should the vision, which seemed farfetched, not manifest. I was following my highest-soul-calling vision, which had called for this move when my sister-in-law was put on hospice after a decade of lupus.
Now, so much has happened that is so far off that plan, and even off the beaten path of what constitutes normal human narratives, that I find that what I always wanted, a journey to the most challenging and beautiful wild places on earth, has been happening—except internally, psychically, rather than “on earth.” And while I’ve become somewhat more versed in walking that inner path, writing about it really bumps up against how to write about something that doesn’t completely correlate to a lot of what is shared in the spiritual communities, nor what you hear anywhere else. It requires me, it feels, to invent a new language.
One thing I’ve learned since September:
There are times when being vulnerable feels like a stripping of dignity in one’s relating. Then there are these times: my brother’s financial gifts and loans to pay for the horses’ board and my basic expenses (the GoFundMe monetary gift—HUGE!—was spent by September), which prove the depth of healed trust between us, show each us at our most dignified. In how I ask, and in how he gives. It’s a beautiful, if uncomfortable, thing.
Both types of vulnerability—the kind that feels like a stripping of dignity (such as what you feel during divorce, losing a career-type job, etc.), and the kind that feels like building dignity, are sacred.
Then, so is everything else. All experience is sacred. Look down. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing or being, you are standing on sacred ground. And you are the goddess, or god.
Oh, and two more things:
1. The Healing with Horse Collective. I haven’t written anything, even an update, because I’m following the inner guidance which tells me not to. But I’m going to sneak in here that I do have plans, and a few preliminary conversations, for a (later than usual) spring tele summit and perhaps a fall symposium. The Healing with Horse Collective will remain a space for open, professional skill building, cross-model training, empowerment, and support. Your herd and home is still here.
2. If you feel inspired to offer up some financial support, even a little bit, I appreciate it so much. I don’t know how to ask for it anymore, really—after so much generosity from you, as it feels like too much already. So please, do NOT do so unless, for your own reasons, it adds joy to your life. I feel something coming, and I would not have lived if I didn’t have an important role to play in the world, and I would not have had the roads to asset liquidation blocked if there were not something coming. I need only a little bridge to get me there. And your help getting me and the herd bridged to new life is a gift beyond measure. Thank you so much!
If you have't already, look up Catherine Hand the work she has done since her own healing from breast cancer took place several years ago when she sat backwards on her horse for what she thought was one last time. The key she thinks is to line up your midline with the horses spine as you lie down flat on the horse with your head towards the tail. Seems to be related to the vagus nerve somehow. Someone should be there to hold the horse and spot you in case the horse isn't used to someone in that position. She had been in hospice until her encounter with her horse. The she walked on her own immediately after that mounted work and went into spontaneous remission.
Dear Diedre, I know you have tons of support and I don't want to overload or overwhelm you, but I want to let you know you are very much in my field of consciousness at the moment. I am sending love, gratitude and healing your way. I can't wait to meet you in person and to be part of the HWH symposium when it comes to Australia!!! I love your vision of the SE Pasific and Alaska! Such excitingly stunning places to envision! I'm so very glad you've got the hospital stuff sorted. Phew. Lots of love, Sam and Herd.
I have known Diedre for twenty years. One of the impressive things I was told about the Symposium was that it went off beautifully with no drama drawn to her condition, but focus on the wonderful experience for the participants. That is Diedre. She is attentive to detail and is very organized, with high integrity. The facts will stand. Right now the focus is on her healing. Prayers, Light and rainbows your way, dear Diedre.
Diedre, to me it feels like you are birthing a new paradigm, there are planes of light at work and I see you fully immersed in them, New operating systems are obviously taking hold and dissolution is part of the sacred alchemy. So glad to know you can feel the Healing energy and that it tangibly makes a difference. You are a magnet of love so sending it is easy... you are a polestar... Bowing and kissing you on the forehead.
Dear beautiful Diedre, Sending Legions of Angels, Unicorns, and Pegasus to wrap you up and surround you with Blessings of Infinite Love. May they reflect back to you All that you are. You are so bright, and big, and beautiful and brave. And your heart holds the Love of a thousand suns. May you feel that warm Glow as we all surround you with even more Limitless Love. We love you. We see you. And we're here with you Now.
Diedre, I am praying for you, hoping the doctors can give you some answers along with a plan to make you better. I know it's a lot of information to process with big decisions to make. I hope you have a friend or family member who can be with you during those appointments with your doctors to serve as your advocate. The Collective and so many others are here to support you.
Diedre - I'm not sure where to leave this comment so that you'll see it, but will try right here on the GoFundMe page... This is a fabulous update, just wonderful on ALL counts. I'm sure all of us here would also love it if you could share the eating plan you're following. That would be a real gift to all of us and following your protocol for 2 weeks is likely a fabulous preventative measure for anyone! BUT only if/when that feels easy, light and life-enhancing for you. No one here wants you to take on work/chores at this time, for any reason! Much love xoxo
Deidre, I didn't get to the Symposium but my business partner, Maureen Donoghue and I were delighted to have met you over a Skype meeting when you took on the Symposium challenge from Dr. Jenn. We were so happy to hear about how well the Symposium went. Now you are facing an ever bigger challenge.... one where we are sending you all the healing energy we possibly can. In terms of alternatives to cancer treatment, I strongly encourage you to go to The Truth About Cancer by Ty Bollinger (you can find it if you google it). This is an incredible resource in which you will find many healing modalities as an alternative to traditional invasive cancer treatments. Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery!
As someone who went through cancer treatment in 2014 with health insurance I know that this goal needs to be raised considerably. Going through treatment is hard enough without having to worry about medical bills. I'm sure this group will join me in continuing to support Diedre in whatever way we can.
Diedre , Apache Springs Ranch is very sorry to hear of your illness, and we wish you a full and speedy recovery. We are mystified at your recent FB post that tells people you received an unexpected bill from Apache Springs Ranch that has taken up $10,000 of your life savings There was no bill sent to you when you arrived home. All of your bills were paid in full before the event began. Any prepaid costs by you, were fully reimbursed to you by the payments of the attendees, for their food and accommodatons. Please refrain from falsely misrepresenting the ranch with regard to your financial situation. If you would like to speak directly with Frank, we will PM you his cell phone.
I'm very sorry to hear this Diedre. I'm not questioning your medical issues. What ever happened between you and the ranch is just that your business. The symposium went off like there was nothing but joy and healing. That is the way I and I hope others of you experienced what really happened at that beautiful place with the beautiful people you invited.
The doctors need to analyze liquid from the 5 liters of fluid drained from Diedre's abdomen to determine a diagnosis after finding a grapefruit sized tumor there that was causing the fluid build up which displaced organs and caused dramatic pain. This is from Diedre's post on her Facebook page. Certainly prayers are in order as well as this wonderful financial support.
thank you Sheryl!
I have been wondering how she's doing, too. I have the camera gear from last year's conference in Sonoita at my place. I can see if I can find her brother's address if she sent it to me by email. I'll let you know if I find it. Tanks for dealing with the storage issue.
Dear Diedre, Albeit I've not met you in person (yet) I'm very much interested in your well-being and healing process. You may be creating something infinite, expansive and powerful with your vision and strength. Thank you, for, simply, being YOU.