Help me change our stars
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Abigail and I before school started this yearMy name is Jeremiah Newbill. I have a wife, Samantha and three children, Aiden, 8, Abigail, 7, and Penelope, 4. We have gone through some incredibly disastrous situations. As we had our third child I was on my way out of the Air Force. I had an honorable discharge and thought I would get a decent job fairly easily.
Penelope and I over this past summerWe left Oklahoma, where I was stationed, headed for Idaho in August, 2010 for what was intended to be our first "vacation". We only intended to stay for about a month, while we looked for employment around the country and visited with my mother and our old friends.Our children were ages 4, 3, and 6 weeks old when we moved. Upon arriving to my hometown, anxiety and self doubt set in, and I quickly became determined to " make it work" close to home. I had missed my mother so very much, and had longed to be able to be more support than just a phone call. It tore me apart to leave her side and return to my Air Force service duties after my father's funeral in 2007.
The emotional pain I experienced in the 3 years between walking away from her side to separating from the military was mind controlling. It led me to think in some pretty dark ways, which in turn effected my job performance, my home and family life, my marriage, our finances... My entire world was lost, and I felt equally astray. My wife has some severe health issues that we were just learning about, and how to handle them. Her health problems caused mental strife, and eventually trauma on both of us, as did our individual reactions to not only her problems, but each other as well. I had decided when I came back from my father's funeral, when the first signs of serious health risks began surfacing, that I couldn't take another person I loved so dearly being ripped away from me... And that if I pushed her away myself, it wouldn't hurt so bad to lose her. I began doing things I am not proud of to try and get her to leave me... But instead, she did the opposite. She clung tighter, supported me until it infuriated me. She drove herself nuts trying to find how to be the best support to me she could be with the little to no information I revealed to her. In the long run, instead of suceeding with self preservation, I wound up hurting myself and those I loved more than I ever thought possible. We both needed the refreshment of feeling home and whole again, which is why we chose to visit home for a month while we found gainful employment elsewhere.
Sam and I the year before separating from the military
When we arrived in our home area, I felt a sense of security begin to brew... One that seemed foreign due to the length of time that had passed since I had sensed such a feeling. That initial inkling of safety was nothing in comparison to the relief that blanketed me when I saw and hugged my mom again. I knew right then that I would give my damndest to ensure we could make it near her, the home both my wife and I knew, and the friends we had missed so much of sharing Life with. Nearly 4 1/2 years later, we have spent month's worth of hours applying for jobs, spent days worth of hours in interviews, gone so long between achieving employment (which was minimum wage and part time jobs at best) that we have been evicted for non payment of rent, and threatened to be evicted two other times. We have lived out of our van with all 3 children. We lived out of our Impala for a spell as well.
Our first attempt
My wife and I did not support each other as husband and wife should, rather, we allowed the troubles we found along our way to drive a space between us... One that it didn't take long to convince me permanently that we would not recover from. We separated, divorced, and re-married along the way. My dark ways of thinking had convinced me that her health and inability to work were the cause of all of our problems. It made sense at the time, but I now see that with the proper support, it would not have taken her this long to struggle back to good health, and through that, regain employment-able health. I can not go back in time, and regain my self confidence, smother my self doubt, support where I was absent yet needed... But I can be proud of how far I have come, and do everything in my power to not run in fear from or self sabotage the opportunities I have available. I realized in the nic of time just exactly what my family needed, and pulled myself together enough until I felt like I was good enough to Sire this family. I enrolled in ITT tech in December 2012, determined to make something more of myself and to give my children the lives they deserve to experience.
Aiden and I catching a rare boy moment
The last two years have been the most trying times we ever experienced. While still fighting against what Life threw our way, we fought all odds to repair our family. We found ourselves happiest and most successful toether, working towards the aspirations we originally dreamed up when newly wed the first time we said "I do". I am now about to graduate from ITT Tech with my Associate's in Network Systems Administration. If I stay at ITT, I have another 2 years until I achieve my bachelor's degree. I am also now still finding extreme difficulty finding employment that pays more than minimum wage in this area, and that ITT Tech has not taught me as much as DeVry did when I attended while still in the Air Force. An employment agency literally laughed when they heard the name of the institution I have pursued a brighter future with. My current job pays $9.32/hour, and the store is losing the funding due to lack of foot traffic, so I have been scheduled for only one 5 to 7 hour shift the last 3 weeks in a row. 2 months after Sam had a hysterectomy, and the month that my GI Bill dropped from $1100 to $450, I find these lack of hours and lack of employment opportunities strangling. I feel like I am drowning and trapped, and until very recently, like I had no options or ways out of this poverty we have been stuck in since I chose to stay near home.
Unicorn Hair. Enough said...
This brings my lengthy life story to October 24th 2014. Sam and I had been talking about relocating. Her doctor had determined that during the huge strides she has been making to overcome her PTSD from childhood, and adjusting to the new post hysterectomy life, it was better for her to return to pursuing success with her photography business and to return to school and find more undeniable self accomplishments to believe in. He strongly suggested not remaining in the cubical job she had maintained through her struggles for the past 6 months, though she didn't want to give up the income we so desperately needed. A manager mentioned looking into transferring to a different branch in Colorado, thinking a change of scenery would help. She brought this up to me, and to be completely honest, I immediately called her an idiot. Let's get something clear here to those who don't already know... Sam is practically void of any natural insulation. While she's been gaining weight lately, she's still only 95lbs on a -good- day. She would freeze the first week. I pointed out this undeniable fact, and asked about considering a warmer state. When she asked what state I had in mind, I suggested California. Penelope, who is insanely intelligent, can begin Kindergarten now, where as they refuse to test her here even though she does homework with Abigail and follows the concepts unbelievably well. There are so many jobs that both Sam and I qualify for, and would enjoy in the area. For many other reasons, and for some unexplainable reason it feels right. Sam asked if I wanted her to look into schools for options for me down there, and I agreed.
This one... Don't ever underestimate this one...
She very quickly found a scholarship opportunity with DeVry, and upon investigation, found that DeVry actually accepts ITT Tech's credits -solely- for the program I have been taking. They also have the same program at DeVry, and they also will accept my credits from the Community College of the Air Force (ITT did not) and the previous DeVry courses I took as well (ITT took 1/3). DeVry's bachelor program takes only 124 credits to graduate, with only 30 credits required to be from DeVry. I have 84 credits at ITT right now already completed, and well over 10 credits to cover the 94 transferred credits limit. The 3 DeVry classes I took while still enlisted give me 13.5 out of those 30 DeVry credits. Long story short, transferring will leave me only 16.5 credits from my bachelor's degree, instead of 4.5 away from my associate's like I am now. Sam called me at work and told me this, and asked if she could apply for the scholarship. It had a deadline for that day, so she would need to complete the application before I got off work. I agreed, and she got to work. Shortly after this conversation, our friend texted saying "congratulations, you were accepted and you start on Monday...". Sam assured me it was just a joke and she was only applying. I thought it was odd she was still applying by this point... It had been hours. When I got home, I found out that she had discovered that in her haste to make sure to complete all requirements by the deadline, she had accidentally actually enrolled me. After looking at our options in the area, the length of time we have now spent trying to succeed here, and the fact that I have already been contacted by a potential position, I know that our best chance at success is through taking this weirdly attractive opportunity and run with it. I have run in fear from opportunities like this either due to self esteem or from lack of funds. I can not stand to let my family continue to struggle because we just can't get out of it, and I am desperate to find a way to embrace this chance. We will have BAH to work with when the transfer finishes processing. I have countless employment opportunities in the area near the school, and I know if I can interview in the area with the drive I have shown here that I can obtain the income I need to be steady. There are also good schools in the area for Sam to enroll in. I want to work with a company like Pixar, EA Games, or even Disney. I want to love what I do, and I can't take giving up the opportunity of being qualified for those jobs so quickly after this long and hard I have been working at being something more than what I have been. I have never opened up like this before. I do not talk about my life often. It is so imperative to me that I succeed though, that I am laying it all out on the line. I am asking for help to get this move on the way. We have about half of what we need to make this move happen and with a back up in savings between the FAFSA, if we sell her SUV (about 1/4 what we need without her selling it).
Kids took pictures of us eloping to remarry
I want to give this the best shot I have. Any support you can give me with my endeavors will be amazing. If you can not help financially, it would help a ton if you could help spread the word for me, so that perhaps someone who can and wishes to help financially will find my story. Thank you so much for believing in me. It has taken a ton of nerve for me to step out there and speak openly about my situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my pleas, and thank you in advance for any help I may receive.
My inspiration to succeed
Sam and I the year before separating from the militaryWhen we arrived in our home area, I felt a sense of security begin to brew... One that seemed foreign due to the length of time that had passed since I had sensed such a feeling. That initial inkling of safety was nothing in comparison to the relief that blanketed me when I saw and hugged my mom again. I knew right then that I would give my damndest to ensure we could make it near her, the home both my wife and I knew, and the friends we had missed so much of sharing Life with. Nearly 4 1/2 years later, we have spent month's worth of hours applying for jobs, spent days worth of hours in interviews, gone so long between achieving employment (which was minimum wage and part time jobs at best) that we have been evicted for non payment of rent, and threatened to be evicted two other times. We have lived out of our van with all 3 children. We lived out of our Impala for a spell as well.
Our first attemptMy wife and I did not support each other as husband and wife should, rather, we allowed the troubles we found along our way to drive a space between us... One that it didn't take long to convince me permanently that we would not recover from. We separated, divorced, and re-married along the way. My dark ways of thinking had convinced me that her health and inability to work were the cause of all of our problems. It made sense at the time, but I now see that with the proper support, it would not have taken her this long to struggle back to good health, and through that, regain employment-able health. I can not go back in time, and regain my self confidence, smother my self doubt, support where I was absent yet needed... But I can be proud of how far I have come, and do everything in my power to not run in fear from or self sabotage the opportunities I have available. I realized in the nic of time just exactly what my family needed, and pulled myself together enough until I felt like I was good enough to Sire this family. I enrolled in ITT tech in December 2012, determined to make something more of myself and to give my children the lives they deserve to experience.
Aiden and I catching a rare boy momentThe last two years have been the most trying times we ever experienced. While still fighting against what Life threw our way, we fought all odds to repair our family. We found ourselves happiest and most successful toether, working towards the aspirations we originally dreamed up when newly wed the first time we said "I do". I am now about to graduate from ITT Tech with my Associate's in Network Systems Administration. If I stay at ITT, I have another 2 years until I achieve my bachelor's degree. I am also now still finding extreme difficulty finding employment that pays more than minimum wage in this area, and that ITT Tech has not taught me as much as DeVry did when I attended while still in the Air Force. An employment agency literally laughed when they heard the name of the institution I have pursued a brighter future with. My current job pays $9.32/hour, and the store is losing the funding due to lack of foot traffic, so I have been scheduled for only one 5 to 7 hour shift the last 3 weeks in a row. 2 months after Sam had a hysterectomy, and the month that my GI Bill dropped from $1100 to $450, I find these lack of hours and lack of employment opportunities strangling. I feel like I am drowning and trapped, and until very recently, like I had no options or ways out of this poverty we have been stuck in since I chose to stay near home.
Unicorn Hair. Enough said...This brings my lengthy life story to October 24th 2014. Sam and I had been talking about relocating. Her doctor had determined that during the huge strides she has been making to overcome her PTSD from childhood, and adjusting to the new post hysterectomy life, it was better for her to return to pursuing success with her photography business and to return to school and find more undeniable self accomplishments to believe in. He strongly suggested not remaining in the cubical job she had maintained through her struggles for the past 6 months, though she didn't want to give up the income we so desperately needed. A manager mentioned looking into transferring to a different branch in Colorado, thinking a change of scenery would help. She brought this up to me, and to be completely honest, I immediately called her an idiot. Let's get something clear here to those who don't already know... Sam is practically void of any natural insulation. While she's been gaining weight lately, she's still only 95lbs on a -good- day. She would freeze the first week. I pointed out this undeniable fact, and asked about considering a warmer state. When she asked what state I had in mind, I suggested California. Penelope, who is insanely intelligent, can begin Kindergarten now, where as they refuse to test her here even though she does homework with Abigail and follows the concepts unbelievably well. There are so many jobs that both Sam and I qualify for, and would enjoy in the area. For many other reasons, and for some unexplainable reason it feels right. Sam asked if I wanted her to look into schools for options for me down there, and I agreed.
This one... Don't ever underestimate this one...She very quickly found a scholarship opportunity with DeVry, and upon investigation, found that DeVry actually accepts ITT Tech's credits -solely- for the program I have been taking. They also have the same program at DeVry, and they also will accept my credits from the Community College of the Air Force (ITT did not) and the previous DeVry courses I took as well (ITT took 1/3). DeVry's bachelor program takes only 124 credits to graduate, with only 30 credits required to be from DeVry. I have 84 credits at ITT right now already completed, and well over 10 credits to cover the 94 transferred credits limit. The 3 DeVry classes I took while still enlisted give me 13.5 out of those 30 DeVry credits. Long story short, transferring will leave me only 16.5 credits from my bachelor's degree, instead of 4.5 away from my associate's like I am now. Sam called me at work and told me this, and asked if she could apply for the scholarship. It had a deadline for that day, so she would need to complete the application before I got off work. I agreed, and she got to work. Shortly after this conversation, our friend texted saying "congratulations, you were accepted and you start on Monday...". Sam assured me it was just a joke and she was only applying. I thought it was odd she was still applying by this point... It had been hours. When I got home, I found out that she had discovered that in her haste to make sure to complete all requirements by the deadline, she had accidentally actually enrolled me. After looking at our options in the area, the length of time we have now spent trying to succeed here, and the fact that I have already been contacted by a potential position, I know that our best chance at success is through taking this weirdly attractive opportunity and run with it. I have run in fear from opportunities like this either due to self esteem or from lack of funds. I can not stand to let my family continue to struggle because we just can't get out of it, and I am desperate to find a way to embrace this chance. We will have BAH to work with when the transfer finishes processing. I have countless employment opportunities in the area near the school, and I know if I can interview in the area with the drive I have shown here that I can obtain the income I need to be steady. There are also good schools in the area for Sam to enroll in. I want to work with a company like Pixar, EA Games, or even Disney. I want to love what I do, and I can't take giving up the opportunity of being qualified for those jobs so quickly after this long and hard I have been working at being something more than what I have been. I have never opened up like this before. I do not talk about my life often. It is so imperative to me that I succeed though, that I am laying it all out on the line. I am asking for help to get this move on the way. We have about half of what we need to make this move happen and with a back up in savings between the FAFSA, if we sell her SUV (about 1/4 what we need without her selling it).
Kids took pictures of us eloping to remarryI want to give this the best shot I have. Any support you can give me with my endeavors will be amazing. If you can not help financially, it would help a ton if you could help spread the word for me, so that perhaps someone who can and wishes to help financially will find my story. Thank you so much for believing in me. It has taken a ton of nerve for me to step out there and speak openly about my situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my pleas, and thank you in advance for any help I may receive.
My inspiration to succeedOrganizer
Jeremiah Newbill
Organizer
Spokane, WA
