Tripp Postmus~Our Courageous Knight
Decision to Trust
Trust In You
"Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I try to win this war
I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, king of the fight
No matter what I face You're by my side
When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There's not a day ahead You have not seen
So let all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less"
The word’s “When You don’t move the mountains, I’m needing you to move” reminded me that sometimes God says, “No” and we don’t know why, but we still chose to trust in Him and His plan. Trusting in God, that His promises are true, is a daily, hourly decision. Just as in any other relationship, there needs to be the decision to work on the relationship. Our job is to Trust that God’s got it- and it’s a lot of work! The peace that comes from handing over control to God is like none other! Ever since the MRI that started this all, my stomach was in knots, it hurt. Monday morning, before we received the results for the biopsy, my stomach hurt so bad. I cried out to God saying that I could not do it anymore, and I was giving God the control of Tripp. I felt a little like Hannah, giving her son to God saying, “use him”. My stomach stopped hurting. “2 Corinthians 12:10 MSG: “Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”
Ugh! This Sucks! We have held a brave front, and will continue to, but sometimes, in secret, we just crumble and say, “Why”? Tripp has gone through so much already, why does he have to give another year of his life to this dirty word called ‘cancer’. Tripp was so looking forward to working hard to be ready to play baseball, to maybe even play soccer this year. Instead, we will be the 5th graders biggest fans! We are going to need to be careful of injuries as the chemo that Tripp will be on will slow healing. We mourn for this loss, but remember that this is momentary. Because Tripp agreed to be part of a study from the beginning, his case will help others in the future, and that gives us hope.
Hope, Hope seems to be a major theme for our family already this year! We remember His promise “May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 We have the hope that God’s plan is good, and that He will never leave us or forsake us. When we need to crumble, His arms are there to just hold us.
“He knows what tomorrow brings”, we need to just trust and know that the big wave in the distance is only a small ripple when we actually face it. One foot in front of the other.
We had a long day of appointments today. We met with Tripp’s oncologist at Mayo who has laid out the plan for Tripp’s treatment this year. We were able to see what 12 weeks of treatment look like, which will then repeat over the year. The treatments will be homebased and many outpatient visits- multiple times a week- which we will be able to do in Sioux Falls. It is be a very busy year! We find joy in that Tripp shouldn’t lose his hair, and should be able to be a pretty normal 5th grader, besides all the appointments, and the potential side effects of nausea and tiredness. To get it all started, we will be going back to Mayo (Yes, we got to come home today, so School and work tomorrow) on Monday afternoon to prepare for surgeries on Tuesday to put two ports in, one in Tripp’s head and the other in his chest again. They are planning to do both under the same anesthesia. We will then recover a day before they start shots to increase his stem cells (Lord willing we get insurance approval by then). As soon as his counts are high, they will check every day, they will harvest them to save them in case he would need them later down the road, if his body is not able to reproduce them. This is a bit scary, and another wave that looks huge. We pray that it goes smoothly and that they will be able to get a good harvest. This process can take 5-10 days, which Chad and I will be staying with Tripp at Mayo. (If you want a good chuckle, ask Chad what he thought of the needle they use in the harvest process- he about passed out!) Chad’s mom will be staying with Caleb so he is able to keep going to school. We are hoping to get into the Ronald McDonald house again to save on Hotel costs. After the transplant is complete Tripp will finish healing until 3 weeks from the port placement, when he will begin chemo.
So our prayer requests have changed, from praying that there was nothing bad in Tripp’s head to praying that he will be strong through this whole ‘adventure #2’. That he will maintain his health and joy- his passion for life, his friends, his family and his Jesus.
Thank you for all of your love and your prayers!
Romans 8:37-39 – “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We received the results of the biopsy this morning. Tripp does indeed have medulloblastoma again. We will be returning to Mayo on Thursday to review the plan the doctors have for chemotherapy to ‘eliminate’ (as Tripp says- I say ‘eradicate’) the tumors that are in there and any other cells that may be lingering.
To hopefully explain a little bit, when Tripp had his first surgery, the tumor was fluffy, like cotton candy. As the head is prone during surgery, some microscopic pieces may have fallen to the top of his head and stayed there until the environment was ready for them to grow, for example, ending chemo in June and the highest doses of radiation to the previous tumor location. The tumors are very small, and there is a treatment plan that Australia has been doing for 10 years. It is going to require a lot of steps to prepare to even start the chemo, including replacing his port, installing an AMI (a port into his head), and a transplant to collect stem cells/white blood cells. We do not have for sure all of the details, but it seems we will be doing chemo for a year, with a lot of trips to Mayo and Sioux Falls for appointments. The ports are going to be the hardest part -emotionally- of the journey for Tripp as once again, he will not be able to use his kayak. We are going to have to find a pool… Caleb once again is going to be tossed around through this process, please pray for peace for him as well!
Tripp is in pretty good spirits, knowing that we did this once, we can do it again. We covet your prayers and support as we once again take this cancer journey. God’s Got This!
It was hard getting back into the groove of things here- but it was good to be home. As Tripp said at Burger King on the way home from the airport, “It’s good to eat Iowa food again” Haha, lets just hope it was Iowa food. And… just as we were settling in, it was time for another round at our favorite Castle. Yes, Tripp’s numbers were ready and he and Chad trekked through the snow thing morning to check in. Tripp had a hard time this morning wanting to go. He woke up ready to go to school, to be with his friends and he didn’t want to go back to the castle. It took some encouraging, some tear wiping, some nose blowing (they will grow up someday and do it on their own-right?) but by the time it was time to go, he was looking forward to time with Dad. This is the round that his numbers will drop really fast, but then come all the way back up. It will be another roller coaster month.
Tuesday, I was reflecting that is was 10 months since he was diagnosed, and Wednesday was 10 months since his first surgery. We live so in the present, that sometimes I forget about how far Tripp has come, what he was struggling with yet even 9 months ago. Praise the Lord He has come so far! He was showing off for me tonight, how he could lift his toes
Saturday, Race day! We got to the track around 9:30am and hung out around the garage area until the Driver/Team Meeting which we got to attend. The team was working hard on getting the car ready for the track so we walked around until the start of the grid walk. We got to hang out inside the tape, by the cars, take lots of pictures, and greet a lot of people. It was here we were introduced to the GM executives that were there and Chad told them his Dad had retired from GM (they said thank you) and we also got to meet Mr. France- whose family owns the Daytona track. We walked down the grid and stopped the Corvette Pits where Mr. Binks was waiting. We hung out there and toured the pits until just before the race started. We stood with the crew for the National Anthem.
When the Race started that afternoon, we spent a lot of time up on top of the Chevrolet Engineers trailer watching it. We slowly ventured inside and watched it on the TV’s in there. We learned a lot and it was very relaxing. We left for the hotel later that evening, ate at Red Robin, and crashed.
Sunday: we got to the track that morning and did the tourist thing, we walked around collecting T-shirts, eating slushies and donuts. It was a little freer schedule, and it was nice. We also went to the “International Horseshoe” the part of the track that goes inside the typical Nascar Track. This is the part of the track that the “action” happens, such as passing etc. It was fun to be close to the track and feel the thunder of the cars. We then headed back to the garage area and watched the race from the “roof” of the garages. One thing about LeMans Series racing is it is all pretty open. It is one reason why we like it so much! The people working with the cars are just car lovers that get excited when people like what they are doing. They are real “gear heads”. We met up with Tim later and he took us to the GM/Cadillac suite in the grandstands. We were spoiled there, and we even found Tripp a hotdog.
Prayers for all of you. God will wrap all of you in his loving arms.
Praying for Tripp and all of you. Praying for the Drs. Just remember that God loves you and He especially loves Tripp! May you know His grace and peace!
Praying for him and all the family standing by him. May God grant a complete cure.