This is the hardest ask. But it’s also an honest and embarrassingly desperate one, and one for which I hope I won’t be judged, because I’m already carrying a ton of shame. I will be honest and simple with it: I have realized and accepted that I need additional treatment for my health and ultimately my life. I’ve found a facility which I know is the best place for me to receive it, and that is offering it, and I feel God has directed there for so many reasons. I hate that I need to ask for support to be able to make this treatment possible.

But, if I genuinely want to be well, I have to be honest in admitting that I have not been well, and I am not well, but I want more than anything to be so and I need help. And it's extremely difficult to admit that and I’m afraid of being judged for needing treatment and feeling weak and especially so for asking for support on top of it, but I want to live.

I’m hoping to receive treatment from a facility in California that accepted me today, but I can’t fully afford the cost of seeing it through (to do so I have to be able to cover $1,500 a month plus food and a plane ticket there in combination with maintaining my financial responsibilities for the life I want to return to, in good health, in New York, which has been my beloved home for more than 13 years now). I’m at a point where it’s more vital that I live with possible judgment and shame and have the chance to get well, and live, than have pride and potentially lose my life in untreated illness. So that’s my truth and why I’m putting this out here. Thank you if you can and want to support my life, but more so if you read this without judgement. ♥️

These are two facilities which I have been accepted and where I feel God has led me to to receive the right and most effective treatment for me at this stage in my recovery journey and deep hope and commitment for wellness, and thus my life.

https://casacaprirecovery.com/about-us/ (first step in the treatment process is stabilization there for 7-14 days; my insurance is gratefully covering 100% of the costs for this)

https://www.chadwick-house.com (second step and where I will do the deep work of healing and recovery for several months; gratefully my insurance is covering the treatment costs 100% through December, then I will need to reach my yearlydeductable of $800 in January; what my insurance will not cover is the monthly housing cost, which is $1,500 a month and this is where this fundraiser becomes most vital: I cannot afford to pay rent monthly both here and maintain my apartment in Brooklyn, where I'm on a lease with the loveliest of roommates through October of next year and am contractually unallowed to sublet my space; so asking for support relates directly to this specific issue which is the only one standing in the way of allowing this treatment plan to come fully together and become a reality for my life.)

Thank you, again for your consideration and possible support!! <3